I am very worried about my future

I recently found out that I am pregnant and am about 8 weeks along at this time. When I found out around 5 weeks, my boyfriend was very loving and supportive and gave me hugs and kisses and assured me everything was going to be alright and he was going to be there for me and our baby. And this had continued up until a couple of days ago when all of the sudden he became very distant with me, will hardly look at or smile at me, and says that it's not me he is just so depressed about the situation and is not ready to be a daddy or get married next year like he promised me when I found out i was pregnant. I told him that I am not ready to be a mom either, but whether we are ready or not the baby is coming soon and will need to have loving and joyful parents to grow up with. He has just been in this depressed slump for the past couple of days and nothing I say or do seems to help. I ask if there was anything I could do to make things better or easier for him, and he says there is nothing, the reason he is depressed is because he is from another country and still supports his family financially since he came to the US and feels like everything is going to fall apart because he is unexpectedly starting his own family. Neither of our families know yet. And he doesn't want to break up or get an abortion, but the way he is treating me is making me feel like he is going to back out on me after all the promises he made, and that really hurts me. But at the same time I don't want to force him to be a dad or be with me because then it's not going to be a happy enviroment for the baby. I just don't know what to do, I've cried and cried in front of him about how I am feeling and he doesn't show much emotion or concern about how stressed he is making me, and he is now saying he is so depressed he can't make me any guarantees about what the future is going to hold for us. When I ask him if he loves me he says yes but his attitude doesn't back that up. I am just afraid of being left alone after everything seemed so good and he always told me not to worry about anything, that he loved me so much and would be there no matter what to make me happy. Now everything is falling apart and I don't know why......does this sound familiar to anyone and do you think after a little time he'll come around?

Hello

It all sounds fairly normal to me hun. When I found out I was pregnant back in febuary, my Other Half was also going through some kind of chrisis, exept he thought we should go down the abortion route. It was a horrible time as pregnancy was unplanned and we were both at loggerheads with me desperate to keep the baby and him terrified of having a child. I take you pregnancy was unplanned? All this with my boyfriend lasted a few weeks with me moving out for a while. He finally decided to speak to people about it instead of keeping it to himself, he spoke to his mum and friends and finally rang me up telling me how sorry he was, how much he loved me and how we should keep the baby!

I am due tommorow and now he is the happiest man alive! When he saw the first scan he cried, soppy sod!
All Im saying is that sometimes it is such a shock for men, they need time to digest it all, maybe give him some space,try not to be too emotional infront of him,try and remain calm, suggest he speaks with friends and family, sometimes it helps to get an outside perspective.

I think he'll come round if he loves you like he says he does. Hopefully when you have your first scan, he will fall in love like mine did.

Remember hun, there is NEVER a 'right' time to have a baby.
You have been given this opportunity, grab it with both hands!!

I hope it all works out for you.

Hannah 40 weeks tommorow!!! xx

Thanks

thanks for your reply

I am hoping he'll come around, it is just so confusing because I thought he was already excited, he was at first, and I am just hoping this sudden "panic" is just temporary. I am trying to give him some space and not keep pushing the subject. It is a lot of stress financially for him i think, and that is part of the problem. I am unisured right now and have a good enough job (i am a nurse) where I can't qualify for state funding, so setting up my first ultrasound appointment is going a lot slower than i wanted. I am 20 and this is my first pregnancy, and it was unplanned. We live together but wanted to get married before starting a family, because my family is very conservative and will not be happy when I tell them about this. And it's hard because I live in Colorado and all of my family is in Minnesota so without him I would feel pretty alone. I just hope he comes around soon because with all of the other pressures in my life I don't need him to be jerk on top of it all. I love kids and with his support i know having a baby would be an exciting process.
Congrats on your pregnancy though, and I am glad that your man is happy! Hope everything goes awesome with your delivery!