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Pregnant but feeling like i don't want my baby

 

Hi, sorry I had no idea which section to post this in.
Please don't judge me but I could really do with some advice.

I'm 26 weeks pregnant & found out I was expecting my baby, a week after my boyfriend (father of the baby) and I split up. He hasn't shown any great interest but we've had the odd few times since we split where he's said he still had feelings and wanted to get back together - the last time was a couple of months ago, and he changed his mind 2 days later after a minor row. I haven't had any positive feelings towards the baby at all since I first found out I was pregnant (and just typing that makes me feel so ashamed).

I've tried picturing myself in a few weeks or a few months - and even when the baby's much older - to see how life would be, and I just get this overwhelming feeling that I don't want it. I was never one for going out every night clubbing or drinking before I got pregnant anyway, but I just feel like I don't want to have to take care of a baby at my age (I'm 23); I dont want to have to change it, or feed it...everything I imagine doing, baby-wise just makes me feel depressed, then I feel guilty because the baby doesnt deserve a mum that feels like this about him. It's not his fault that he had irresponsible parents that should really have thought things through thoroughly before conceiving him. We talked about having a baby and both wanted it at the time, but we'd only been together for 4-5 months so it was stupid of us to even be considering starting a family so early in the relationship. I want to add though, ever since I was about 14 I've always thought I wanted kids. I've got 4 younger brothers and sisters that I loved helping look after, and always saw myself having a family, so I can't understand why I'm feeling this way now I finally am pregnant.

I thought it was the situation with my ex that was making me feel this way, and the fact I'm going to be a single mum. I still have feelings for my ex and he recently said he definitely doesn't ever want to get back together (and we couldn't anyway, because his family now hate me). He's got 3 sons aged 17,19 and 18 months that he never sees but this week he's been saying he's trying to change. The 2 older boys have moved away but he saw the youngest one twice last week and says he's going to continue being a part of his life.
He also says he wants to be involved with my baby, come to my next scan (I have a 4D scan booked for the 19th June), be at the birth and he'd like us to try and stay friends so he can be as involved with the baby as possible; but even though I've been waiting for my ex to say this for ages, now he's said what I wanted to hear all this time I don't think it's what I want.
I don't think I'll be able to handle being 'just friends' with my ex, and having to take the baby round to his place to see his dad for a few hours...at the moment I can't even imagine spending time with my ex as friends. Everytime we talk and start getting on well, I miss us being together as a couple and it just depresses me, so I'll start an argument (figuring it's easier for me to 'hate' my ex, than for us to be getting on). Then I feel awful, because I'm being so selfish. My baby deserves to be able to see his father and I'd be stopping him because it'd be too difficult for me to handle.

I'm also getting slight jealousy feelings towards my exes other son and his mother. The mother and my ex get on well even though they barely see each other and the other day my ex said talking to her was better than talking to his family (which was a big thing for him to say, because he's so close to his family). I, on the other hand, am the worst relationship he's ever been in (he said those exact words to me a few days ago) and I can't help but think that once this little one is born, his elder son by the 'perfect ex' will come out on top - how will he have time to see both children equally? He works weird hours as it is (2pm-00.45, 5 days a week, Sunday is his day off and he works 6am-2 or 4pm on Mondays), so seeing one baby regularly would be difficult enough.

I don't want to end up resenting this baby and at the moment, I'm trying to 'get into' the idea of bringing up a child; I've even been looking at baby websites and buying a few clothes but everytime I do I just can't get into it, and end up either being really uninterested in what I'm trying to do, or bursting into tears!

Could it be I'm just not ready for a baby, or could it be something more serious like depression? The doctors at my local surgery are Asian and were very disapproving when they found out I was pregnant and unmarried, so I don't feel like I can talk to them about this. My mum accused me of being uncaring when I tried to talk about my feelings and there isn't really anyone else I can confide in.


 

?

If u decide u don't want ur child I'm interested in adopting it . I've been married almost 2 yrs and can't have anymore children and I really want a child with my husband please feel to message or look me up on facebook it's chrissy phillips from huntington indiana... Thank u


 

How i got my ex back

Hello beautiful people, my name is cathrine, I just want to use this means to talk about a good news to the entire world on how i got my husband back, i was in a serious relationship with my Ex Guy for 3 good years.. One day we were in a dinner party, we had a little misunderstanding which lead to a Quarrel and he stood up and left me at the dinner party. i try to call him but he was not picking my calls so after than i contacted my brother and told him about it,my brother so much love me that he had to see him on my behalf,he told my brother that it is over between us.. Then i contacted a friend of mine that had this similar experience and she directed me to a spell caster named High priest otigbolor and i contacted him on Highpriestotigbolor66@gmail.co m, at first i thought it was not going to be possible and i contacted him i was ask to come up with a little requirement information of me and my Ex Guy,so i did what i was ask to do, after 24Hours after the spell was cast i was in my office when my Ex Guy called me and was asking me to forgive him and come back to him. i was very surprise it was like a dream to me,so ever since we have been happily married with one kid my lovely baby(Anita)...i wish you the best of luck... friends you can contact High priest otigbolor on his personal email, Highpriestotigbolor66@gmail.co m or his temple email, templeofpermanentsolution1@gma il.com ... I know he will help you and you will Thank me later.

cathrine


 

Hello

feel free to email me at starlette216chaye@yahoo.com i would like to help you out


 

?

did you have your baby already???


 

Well im sorry but if u didnt want the baby

well if u didnt want the baby u should of kept ur legs closed or got him to wear something there is alot of woman out there who wants a baby but cant and they is people like u who get pregnant and say things like this live with it or hand ur baby to someone who will love it as u wont ever love it by the sounds of ur message sad really i had my son at 18 and he is the best thing ever and i did it on my own he is now 19 nearly and couldnt live without him


 

Consider this

Hello, I came across your post and hope you might be willing to talk to me more in depth. We are currently looking to adopt a child. I'm 38 and my spouse Pat have been together for seven years, married for 5 years. We desperately would like to have a child. Pat is 48 and I'm 38 and severely anemic, and my doctor has told me many times that I should not get pregnant, that a baby would take to much iron and there was a 40% chance that I wouldn't survive the pregnancy. Sometimes desperation and desire allows me to believe it's worth the risk. We are both employed, with medical coverage, we own our home, and are both full time students in Human Services and Psychology. In addition to corporate employment we also have our own business coaching and mentoring people. If interested in learning more about us and the possibility of the consideration for adopting your child. We both have a lot of love and nurturing to provide to a little one. My email address is sirenanonymous@yahoo.com..


 

Are you still looking?

by:newb34

Are you still looking for a child. I am healthy and five weeks and one day pregnant


 

Baby and want to know if u will let me and my family be its parent

by:chrissy19811

Hello I'm chrissy and I have two children and got married two yrs ago and my husband had two kids one is alive and the other passed away with heart problems from birth. I want to have a child with him and cant. Due to issues and I would love to know if u would be willing to let us adopt ur baby. We both have full time jobs and work days and have a home and the basic for the care of a child. Plus a awesome family that spoils kids. Both of our fathers was in service together. And it would have cousin and aunts and uncles.i just wish I could have a child to call mine and my husband ryan that we can raise together and love and cherish. I don't want to see any child abuse or killed or worse. I don't have a lot of money but I'm willing to take full responsibilities for ur child. If give the chance. I'm on facebook. As chrissy phillips and u can look me up huntington indiana my family is on their my children. If u give me a chance to become a mother with my husband it will be a dream come true for me and our family. And a wonderful Christmas present. If u have any question please contact me. Or if u know of anyone not wanting their child.


 

Hi!

by:organicgirl7

Hello! I hope you find yourself well! I came across your comment and if I read right, you're looking for someone to adopt your baby?? If so, please write me an email! VeganismIsLove@hotmail.com. My husband and I are not able to conceive a child and I would very much like to help you! Hope to hear from you soon!! My name is Ari


 

Hello my name is natalee

by:leelee215

I am 24 I will be 25 in 2 months I am looking to have someone else's baby being as I can't have my own they won't let me adopt because I'm single and I live with my mom. I would really live to have u r baby if you can give me more information


 

Faleshia

im looking for a baby to take care of. i am married and have a 6 year old son.


 

Extending comment.

This is what I have to say to all you "adopters" Go through an agency. dont be weird.

you should be


 

My gawd, you people!!!

All you "i want your baby" comments. You all sound like baby snatching weirdo's. This girl is asking for HELP not you to attempt to grab her baby! Listen, I am 21 and on my second child. I've had this issue since I found out im pregnant. And I feel like i despise this child, I feel terrible for it. And I really try, Its not baby daddy issues because he is here, in my life and our eldest sons. And he is going to be here for this baby has been nothing but an excellent father, yet I can't even imagine having this baby. With my son, I loved him, from conception to birth till present day. I can not imagine my world with out my little beebee here all day to make me smile. Yet this time is different. I feel like I don't want to do this, not the pregnancy, not the labor, not the birth.. Quite frankly I feel like I hate the baby. And It kills me inside I feel like such a ... worse. I feel ashamed, terrible AND guilty. I haven't been able to cope. But My advice is just take it day by day, Don't give your baby to any of these creeps online ESPECIALLY. If when he is born you still feel the same adopt the baby out to someone you can personally meet and spend time with. Someone you believe whole heartedly will never hurt the baby and will always love it as there own no matter what. Ask your doctor what you can do, or try talking to a psychologist/Therapist if you don't have the money for them, Ask a close friend there opinion. Get on some baby talk sites and ask other mothers what they think and how they've felt or if anyone felt that way. Your ex shouldnt ever talk to you or anyone like that regardless of how upsetting you may become. Thats terrible and I am sorry. I hope this helped you, if you ever want to talk about it or need advice feel free to contact me on yahoo at: Krista.hodges@yahoo.com
But all you other psycho's dont even try.


 

I want to extend my testimony


I want to extend my testimony to people out there looking for help, if you need a spell caster to help you bring back your lover contact dr.marnish@ yahoo.com or call him at +15036626930, he based united state, i ordered with this caster a love spell and he gave me the most astonishing and wonderful result that i have never seen, he has made me known that there is a helping hand out there whenever I feel the need for it.
Serebabs


 

Loving couple very interested

Hi there we are Kellie and Susan. We are very interested in adopting your baby. We live in Texas and are both professionals. We would love the chance to talk to you and discuss this please email us as soon as you can. Kellie.Pullin@yahoo.com

Thank you, look forward to talking to you soon!


 

25 y/o woman

ileenabrown@gmail.com Email me as soon as possible. I am interested in adopting a newborn so if you seriously do not want your baby I will make it very easy for you to sign over your parental rights.


 

I want to adopt a baby

please email me celvira10178@gmail.com and i be-leave every mother should be a part of the child's life


 

Hard decision

If you dont want your baby as much as you say ypu do then how come you've left it this long without doing anything? I really hope you're not just keeping the baby in hope that your ex takes you back cause that really isnt the way to go.If you dont feel that you can take care of your baby then the only option left is giving your baby up for adoption but you should think really hard about it before you come to a decision cause you might change your mind once he or she is born. You have to do what is right for you and your baby


 

Hi

Bless you. I think you should speak to a doctor about possible depression. Your ex isnt helping by being nasty to you (saying you're his worst relationship - what a horrible thing to say to someone - let alone a pregnant girl).
I'd say wait until you have the baby and see how you feel. Nothing can prepare you for looking into your baby's eyes for the first time. You may feel completely different. Don't beat yourself up for how you're feeling. Given the situation - it's completly natural for you to be feeling that way.
Good luck honey x


 

Pregnant but not feeling like having a baby.

Hi . my name is patty and i am sorry you feel this way. It is probably just you dont want a commitment of taking care of a baby and believe me you shouldn't feel ashamed at all. It is ok to feel that way. It doesn't sound like depression , but it does sound like the situation is just not good right now for you to have the responsibility of taking care of a baby 24/7. I would like to talk to you more. I am getting a new phone in a week and I will give you my number. It helps having a friend to talk to. Send me a message on facebook. Here is my email address - patriciamiller977@yahoo.com ok inbox messages only please. In the meantime honey keep your head up because things are going to get better for you. ok. Patty.


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