Hi, sorry I had no idea which section to post this in.
Please don't judge me but I could really do with some advice.

I'm 26 weeks pregnant & found out I was expecting my baby, a week after my boyfriend (father of the baby) and I split up. He hasn't shown any great interest but we've had the odd few times since we split where he's said he still had feelings and wanted to get back together - the last time was a couple of months ago, and he changed his mind 2 days later after a minor row. I haven't had any positive feelings towards the baby at all since I first found out I was pregnant (and just typing that makes me feel so ashamed).

I've tried picturing myself in a few weeks or a few months - and even when the baby's much older - to see how life would be, and I just get this overwhelming feeling that I don't want it. I was never one for going out every night clubbing or drinking before I got pregnant anyway, but I just feel like I don't want to have to take care of a baby at my age (I'm 23); I dont want to have to change it, or feed it...everything I imagine doing, baby-wise just makes me feel depressed, then I feel guilty because the baby doesnt deserve a mum that feels like this about him. It's not his fault that he had irresponsible parents that should really have thought things through thoroughly before conceiving him. We talked about having a baby and both wanted it at the time, but we'd only been together for 4-5 months so it was stupid of us to even be considering starting a family so early in the relationship. I want to add though, ever since I was about 14 I've always thought I wanted kids. I've got 4 younger brothers and sisters that I loved helping look after, and always saw myself having a family, so I can't understand why I'm feeling this way now I finally am pregnant.

I thought it was the situation with my ex that was making me feel this way, and the fact I'm going to be a single mum. I still have feelings for my ex and he recently said he definitely doesn't ever want to get back together (and we couldn't anyway, because his family now hate me). He's got 3 sons aged 17,19 and 18 months that he never sees but this week he's been saying he's trying to change. The 2 older boys have moved away but he saw the youngest one twice last week and says he's going to continue being a part of his life.
He also says he wants to be involved with my baby, come to my next scan (I have a 4D scan booked for the 19th June), be at the birth and he'd like us to try and stay friends so he can be as involved with the baby as possible; but even though I've been waiting for my ex to say this for ages, now he's said what I wanted to hear all this time I don't think it's what I want.
I don't think I'll be able to handle being 'just friends' with my ex, and having to take the baby round to his place to see his dad for a few hours...at the moment I can't even imagine spending time with my ex as friends. Everytime we talk and start getting on well, I miss us being together as a couple and it just depresses me, so I'll start an argument (figuring it's easier for me to 'hate' my ex, than for us to be getting on). Then I feel awful, because I'm being so selfish. My baby deserves to be able to see his father and I'd be stopping him because it'd be too difficult for me to handle.

I'm also getting slight jealousy feelings towards my exes other son and his mother. The mother and my ex get on well even though they barely see each other and the other day my ex said talking to her was better than talking to his family (which was a big thing for him to say, because he's so close to his family). I, on the other hand, am the worst relationship he's ever been in (he said those exact words to me a few days ago) and I can't help but think that once this little one is born, his elder son by the 'perfect ex' will come out on top - how will he have time to see both children equally? He works weird hours as it is (2pm-00.45, 5 days a week, Sunday is his day off and he works 6am-2 or 4pm on Mondays), so seeing one baby regularly would be difficult enough.

I don't want to end up resenting this baby and at the moment, I'm trying to 'get into' the idea of bringing up a child; I've even been looking at baby websites and buying a few clothes but everytime I do I just can't get into it, and end up either being really uninterested in what I'm trying to do, or bursting into tears!

Could it be I'm just not ready for a baby, or could it be something more serious like depression? The doctors at my local surgery are Asian and were very disapproving when they found out I was pregnant and unmarried, so I don't feel like I can talk to them about this. My mum accused me of being uncaring when I tried to talk about my feelings and there isn't really anyone else I can confide in.

I have anxieties now that I might not have done the right thing but deep down I know I have and I love my bump more than anything - see I get these anxieties and I h=am in a stable relationship. I htink you're going through a tough time of it at the moment, an unstable relationship brings anxiety but being pregnant and hormonal will just heighten these emotions. I really think you need to change doctors for a start as they are totally unreasonable putting their personal feeling onto you. I have an asian doctor and he has never once given me the impression that he disapproves despite me being unmarried. I think you might be suffering slightly from prenatal depression bought on my the environment you are in at the moment and think its best you try and get this resolved asap - is your midwife more approachable? Anxieties are perfectly normal in pregnancy, we all worry but I am sure when it comes down to it and you hold your baby for the first time you will be overcome with emotion and the love you feel. Good luck honey xxx

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and I'm really unsure if I want this baby or not. I refuse to raise this child on my own and the father says yes one day he'll be there and than the next he claims he don't. And that's our relationship; sometimes he wants me and other times he doesn ... hurts to have this feeling about someone growing inside of you for 9 months but sometimes it's an uncontrollable feeling. All I can say to you isd what I repeat to myself everyday; Everything happens for a reason so what ever happens with you I wish you the best of luck and just know your not alone!!!

I am 35+weeks and i was the same but i am with the dad planning a wedding but my family have dissowned me i found it so hard but i guess at about 32weeks i stated to come round i still find it hard to picture myself i want my lil boi so much but there is so much more emotions with pregnancy thatn i though, i lost a lil girl last year and fell pregnant soon afterwards and i thin it ofund it really hard ot get my head round still.

It dose get better but u need persaver i am around if u wanna talk my msn is:Brazilianna@hotmail.com xxx

All I can say is no wonder you have mixed feelings about your pregnancy, look at what you have been through in such a short space of time?! It doesn't sound like your ex is being supportive of you and his unborn child or willing to listen to how you are feeling. Ultimately it will be down to him to form a bond with this baby and his responsibility to make contact and spend time with his baby. There's nothing to say that you have to be involved in this contact if you think that you'd find this difficult.

I think you need to find some good support, I agree with the other post that you should consider changing GP's to somewhere you are comfortable with but your midwife will be able to help. Have you any friends or other family that you feel would listen?

Not all of us our born mothers, don't be too hard on yourself, I know that I have felt very overwhelmed about my pregnancy even though it was planned.

Keep talking and give your midwife a ring.

Good Luck.

Firstly you need to change doctors, no doctor should show their personal feelings about such
a situation. They must get loads of people like you through their doors.

I know that midwives can help, when you go to your next ante-natal appointment talk through your problems with them, they have loads of experience and may be able to suggest some things and groups that can help.

The main thing is to keep on communicating, talk to as many people as you can, advice is free and there are some very caring people out there.

You need as much support as you can get, explain this to your mum say you need her more than ever, your in a difficult situation and you are bound to feel like this, hormones and all!

I wish you much luck, you will get through this, you just need as much help as you can get.

God bless you and may all the angels surround you with their love and light. Ask for their help too, we all have free will and they can only intervene if we ask them too.

Take it easy on yourself, you are amazing.