So very confused.........

hello, i am new to this and have no-one else to talk this through with. I am 29 with a beautiful daughter who is 4 and have been with my other half since i was 18. I went to get the coil fitted and found out i was pregnant. I am so dissapointed, i though we were being so careful, but obviously not careful enough! Anyway i spoke with my partner and we thought a termination would be best, ( we were recently declared bankrupt, i have health problems and we had not wanted anymore children) Anyway it turns out that my partner wants this baby but i do not. I was booked in for a consultation for a termination and have until next week to decide what to do. I am torn, i look at my daughter and cannot imaging loving another child like i love her, i worry that my partner will resent me if i go through with termination and my head is all over the place. Some days i try to be positive and think that i am glad that i am pregnant but ultimatley i keep feeling that i dont want another child and that i should go ahead with the termination. Im scared that whatever decission i make will be the wrong one and know that whatever i decide will have a massive impact on all of our lives!!!! Please any advice or anyone in the same situation would be helpfull.

x x x

Hey

hi there hun
well its a tuff on you.i myself cannot advise you as i have never been in that situation,bankcrupcty isnt all that that bad.....and of course you will love it the same as your first......maybe you and your partner need to talk...good luck in what you decide
linzi 23+5 bump

Hey

cant really advise u cos never been in that situation but just wanted to wish u luck with whatever u decide.no matter what u do u will have to live with it forever so do what u think u will cope best with!!!sounds like uve had a rough time lately maybe a little one on the way would be something positive for u to focus on?!and of course u would love it the very same remember that the hormones make u think all sorts of silly things!!but the good thing is u do have options so go and talk it over with those that u need to and i hope u come to the right decision!!

thers always plenty of support on here when u need it

xxx

I think most women think that they will never be able to love another child the way they do their first, i know i did, i remember bringing my 2nd baby home and couldnt stop crying because i thought how will i ever be able to love you the way i did my first, id like to add that feeling didnt last very long and here i am pregnant with baby number 4 and i love my 3 children with all my heart and i know that i will also love this one just as much because i love her already, their your flesh and blood you will love just as much.

I had a termination 18 years ago and i have regretted it ever since its not a decision to take lightly. Good luck with whatever road you choose, but i dont think you can ever afford a baby so try not to worry about the money side of it.

Take care
Emma and 22week Daisy bump.xxxx

.......

Hi there,

the fact that your declared bankrupt is not a bad thing - you're now debt free, is that really so bad?? I would much rather be declared bankrupt then up to my neck in debt. The trouble is that bankruptcy has some silly stigma attached to it - it is a silly one...

This is now a new chapter in your lives, no debt, new baby on the way (things are never planned) and a partner that wants this chid and is willing to support you - GREAT!

I am on my fourth and it is hard to comprehend loving another child like you love your first - you do though and will, it will just fit in. I have the same feelings about this one, but know that i will fall head over heels...... Just think about it - your lovely daughter is about to become a big sister!!!

The main thing is you're debt free, there is help out there, tax credits and so on. Everything will be ok in the end - promise!

The decision is yours but just take a step back and a good think before you do anything to drastic. The ladies who choose abortions seem to be full of remorse and guilt and regret their choice. Only a handful of women seem able to live with their choice of abortion. Really think about this one.... We ALL have negative thoughts when we find out about pregnancy...

Good luck with whatever you decide!

TC amanda x

Hi hun!

I think unless anyone has been in this sitution it is hard to advise and as every situation is unique to the individual,ultimately the only one who canmake the decision is you.

Is there any way you an your partner could go together and see your GP or even your health visitor if they are approachable and sit down and talk about all the implications of either decision.

You cannot do something that will have an impact on you just to please your partner but you do need to be as sure as you can that the route you chose is the right one.Termination is a major decision,I had a baby terminated for health reasons and it still tore me apart. As for the feeling you could not love another child I think most women feel this way when they are having a second child,I know I did,and of course I do love them but you love all children individually anyway.

I really feel though that both you and your partner need to talk properly and weigh up all the options.I am sorry I am not much help!

Take care

Nicki