Hi there,

Just wondering if anyone out there has the same feelings...

I am 27 years old and about 26 weeks pregnant and feeling really worried and down about it now.

It seems to be really sinking home now that I am pregnant and all the responsibilities behind it.

I had to give up work early on in February as I was having terrible morning sickness all day and night long for about four months!

Now I am fine health wise but finding it so hard to get some work till the baby comes in September.

I just feel so down about it, like my life has come to an end and I am no longer in control of it.

I am so worried about the money side of things and how I will cope, I just dont feel ready for all this!

I am engaged to my partner and hope to marry soon so I am not alone and I have my parents but they live over 60 miles away and I wish I could just pop over there!

Has anyone else had the same feeligs or going through the same thing? What did you do?

Many Thanks,
Natalie x

this message was sent on this date last year and has some how found its way back.
Sadly Natalie died of meningitus in december last year after having a baby boy who was stillborn in september. she was l lovely lady who was very brave and couragous.
thankyou.
lynni x

I'm 38 years old, and 9 weeks pregnant. I can't say I've ever particularly wanted children - although I quite enjoy spending limited time with the older children (7 years plus) of friends. They're quite fun once they become sentient, and capable of personal hygiene. I've always tended to avoid babies - far too noisy, sticky and prone to unpredictable projectile horridness from most orifices. And now I'm going to have to contend with one of my own. It was hubby's idea, and it didn't seem fair to deny him something he so desparately wanted. So, yes, it was planned. Although much against my better judgement, and I kind of wish I'd continued secretly taking the pill - only that would have been unfair and dishonest.

Right now, I'm worried about everything, feeling exhausted and sore and sick - and hubby just makes no effort to understand or to be considerate. He constantly demands my time, and demands sex - and seems to be going out of his way to behave in a way that is boorish and selfish. I know it's possible to make a very good job of being a single parent - I know some great examples - but I believe that children need 2 parents ideally. However, if he keeps on like this, i will evict him, and go it alone... only I'm worried that I will lose my house and my precious animals if I do, because I have to work, and pay my mortgage...

Friends who have been through it all tell me it's different when you have your own child, and that you tend to feel an overwhelming love for them. I just hope they're right. Right now, I feel ambivalent, daunted by the responsibility, drained by the whole, vile process of being pregnant (and I'm only 9 weeks in, god help me) and totally freaked out at the thought of medical poking and prodding. I'm trying to take the long view, remind myself that in 7 years time or so, it might be better, and in the short term, have refused almost all medical interference - definitely all needles - and will allow nature to take its course. If it kills me - well, I don't particularly care. And that which doesn't kill you is supposed to make you stronger, isn ... Or so they say...

The thought of breastfeeding turns my stomach - I don't care what the current propaganda says. But then, as my midwife told me, breastfeeding isn't for everyone, and in her 20 years of being a midwife, she's known plenty of perfectly healthy bottle fed babies. So perhaps the way forward is to try to stop feeling guilty, try to see the little alien developing inside you as a someone, not a something, and hope and pray that these maternal loving feelings will kick in sooner or later, and that the birth will be simple and uncomplicated, and can take place quietly, at home, with the minimum of fuss and interference.

I don't get on with my mother, and she doesn't approve of my husband because she disapproves of his ethnic origin, so I'm not counting on any support from that quarter. My beloved "second mum" (to whom I was much closer than my own mother) sadly died earlier this year - so I'm feeling very isolated.

Is all this normal, I wonder? Reading posts from others who seem to be feeling similar things has helped me, and makes me think that I'm probably not a complete, unfeeling, unmaternal monster, and that it's normal to feel a bit daunted... so thank you all for your honesty. If anyone else went through - or is going through - similar stuff, I too would be interested to know of your coping strategies. If I get any good tips, I will post them.

hi, i;ve only got 3 weeks to go, and its only just about sunk in. Like you, my family live miles away (150), so during this whole pregnancy i've seen my mum about 4 times, which which has really upset me. My mum is coming up to visit for the first 2 weeks for july, and i just hope she makes it up here in time to be there for the birth.
I've still not quite got my head round the whole responsibility part of it yet, part of me still keeps thinking "in a few weeks i can go out and get pissed!!" but the reality is, that ain't gonna happen for a while. I don't really know what i can say to reassure you, but i do feel the same...lonely and fed up. But, on the plus side, i can't wait to meet my baby boy and start a whole new life as a mum. People keep telling me, i'll get to meet other mum's once baby is here, and I'm sure you will too. Just enjoy ur pregnancy and look to the future.

I think we all have 'down days' every now and again - either through hormones or through the thought of what's to come! But I honestly think that those people who realise the responsibility they face BEFORE the birth have less of a shock once it happens - it's the ones who think having a baby is about dressing it up and taking it for walks like a doll that get the real shock! I know I'm a bit of a pessimist, but sometimes expecting things to be bad is good in that it can only ever be better than your expectations! I am counting on having no sleep, and my house being like a bomb site for at least six weeks while I adjust - that way, if I do manage to sleep and get things done, I'll feel good - and if I don't, I won't be disappointed! lol x

Thank you, its good to hear from you and that we have similar feelings.
Makes me feel a bit more normal somehow!

Its just so weird how it can make you feel, sometimes I just want to revert back to being a child with no responsibilities!

Its scarey too, how much our lives are changing and how it will be in the future.

People keep on telling me i'll meet other mums too when the baby comes,
I want to meet others and then I dont as well if you know what I mean,
its just SO scarey!

Thank you, and I hope yours goes well too, must keep in contact.
Us girls gotta stick together to get through this!

Best Wishes,
Natalie xxx
(e-mail anytime - natalie.louisa@btinternet.com)