Hi

I'm getting married soon and would really welcome some advice on pregnancy. I'd really like a baby straight after the wedding and - surprisingly - my fiancee has agreed. I'm 29 and have a home and good job but I'm concerned that I haven't yet finished some part-time postgraduate study, plus there are some debts we'd like to clear. My fiancee has pointed out that we could be in exactly the same situation in a year or two so they're not necessarily good reasons for waiting. I'd love to hear from anyone who has been in a similar situation, and how things panned out for them.

Thanks!!

Just to say thanks to everyone for taking the time to give me advice. I agreed with my fiancee that we'd try during the honeymoon, and if I didn't get pregnant we'd wait a year. Anyway, I did an 'early' digital pregnancy test yesterday when we got bsck from the honeymoon, having experienced significant sickness over the last few days, and it's positive! Only two weeks pregnant, but I'm so excited already.

Thanks again,

Frances x

Hey congratulations very happy for you.

only 38 weeks to go....you may think this is miles away as i did when i first found out at 5 weeks but believe me it flys by..i only have under 6 weeks to go now..!!

Hi,

I got married on the 26th May this year and had a lovely honeymoon. When we got back I felt a bit odd and my period was late so I did a test and found out I was pregnant. Although we had wanted to start a family quite soon getting married for some reason we just didn't think it would happen quite that quickly!! I suppose if you play with fire.... Anyway the point I'm trying to make is that although we are happy it feels like we haven't had any time to enjoy the wedding 'afterglow' which is a bit sad. We are still quite shocked about it all as it's just not how we imagined it would happen. However it is a privilege to be able to have a child so just make sure your 100% sure that this is the right time for you.

Take care and I hope it all works out

Becky xx

Hey, i was reading your post and i wish i was in your position when i fell pregnant..

I am 22 and although i am in a good job with career prospects i hate it and its all changed now baby is coming people are right in what they are saying you need to decide what you want - i know that i cannot work full time because me and my partner cannot afford childcare costs aswell as all our monthly bills and debt repayments.

I wouldnt get too hung up on the debt thing because it is so commen these days you will rarely find a family who do not have debts. You have a secure environment with your home and thats financial security in itself.

I am getting married next May not good having 9 months to get into shape but i am up for the challange and lots of people to help prepare etc

When it comes to post-grad study it depends how long you have left really? I am thinking about doing a diploma in something after the baby is born and aslong as you have your partner/family who are awre of the situation and fully supporting you it shouldnt stop you.

You need to do whats right for you and your fiancee if you think you can cope go for it but there is never a right time and it happens when you least expect it as i did.

Hi,

I'm 29 and got married in Feb last year - was just as surprised when in December my husband agreed we should start trying - was even more surprised when I found I was pregnant 2 weeks later!
In any case, I think that no matter how much you think you can prepare/save be ready for a baby you'll never be ready if you know what I mean.
We are in the middle of redecorating a run down old house, I still have lots of debt and we still have a busy social life. But you also have to think about the kind of time you want to spend with your kids and what you think you can cope with as you get older in terms of running around after littleuns.
Finally with regards to the money thing, I'm Indian in origin and my mum is always saying you shouldn't worry too much, a baby when its born will bring its own good fortune and karma with it - it will be able to provide for its own. Its like it's karma making sure there's enough for it on this earth...I kind of believe in that.
You go for it! Good luck.
K.xx

Hi,
we got married march 06,and started trying for baby at start of this year, luckily i got pregnant fairly quickly and have twins due end of dec. He's a dairy farmer so works longs hours and we're starting a new business due to kick off in next couple of weeks so thats going to be hard work to get going and make money to pay me & pay business costs as I left my job to set this up. So I say go for it, cos you dont know how long it will take to get pregnant, (I'm just getting mine out before i'm 35)your fiance is right, things may be the same in a couple of years time, plus as I said to my hsbnd when we were discussing the whole timing thing, you have the best part of 9months to prepare things, its not like you get pregnant then have baby in a week! I would work out priority, ie clear debts if poss, dont aim to buy all new stuff for baby, it surprising what people will have that you can borrow/buy second hand. Anyway whatever you decide good luck, and enjoy the trying!! Plus when you get on towards a year of marriage, everybody starts asking you when you're having children so you may beat them to it!

lucy

Hi

I will be 29 weeks pg on Wednesday and passed my driving test last Monday, so it isn't impossible to get anything achieved whilst pregnant. I had wanted to wait until after I got my license, but things don't always work out as you plan them! How much study do you have left? To be honest, pregnancy lasts a good lifetime - these nine months feel more like nine years for me, you might be glad to have something else to take your mind off it! Debt-wise, you need to sit down and work out what you owe and what you would like to do once you've had a baby - i.e f/t work, p/t work, stay at home - and decide from there whether you can afford to have a baby right after your wedding and still pay everything off. Plan lots, and do lots of homework - I've chosen a nursery and it will cost £500 a month in childcare costs! Look into it all - and if you do decide to go ahead, you're ready as you can be, and if you decide to wait, plough your money as far as poss into paying everything off, so you have a nice reward to look forward to at the end of it all!

And in all honesty - I don't ever think anyone is truly 'ready' - I've planned lots, but still have panicky moments!!

Good luck x

the 1st year is the hardest. having a baby would probably just mae things harder and it's probably stress u dont need! and you'll be pregnant in all your wedding photos! Honeymoon wont be too great either because, depending on where you are in the pregnancy etc. you might not be able to fly. I'd get the wedding out of the way first at least, because you don't need wedding planning stress during pregnancy! If you get pregnant after the wedding, then things should go well. Have a nice romantic honeymoon, and if you become pregnant then there will be some nice stories to tell the baby. Just don't try doing everything at once. Women are miracle workers, but no point in asking for extra stress! hope I helped.

charlotte

I was not allowed to get pregnant until I could prove in our house hold budget we could afford it! My husband hates debt so we have paid off all loans other than the morgage, factored in my maternity pay and we should be ok. We have also got a flexible morgage so it we need to reduce the payments for a time we can.

Who said making a baby was all about love!

Hey, I dont believe in waiting, what is the point! I think if you are both ready and a baby is what you want then dont hang around! Babies are so special and will bring loads of joy to your life!

It is your decision, good luck in whatever you decide to do xx