After nearly two weeks and the toughest decision of my life i think i am going to keep my baby... i dont want to go through another termination i dont want a baby either but i have worked out want i would rather do.. the main thing i am scared about is if i decide to keep it and because i am so unsure and never will make the right decision as the pros and cons are equal, im scared half way through when its too late to go back i wont want it, and il be stuck, and if it comes i wont want it and have to go through this next 7 months of pain and childbirth.. im 23 and been with my partner 2 months just over, my post is on the abortion section if you need to read the store behind this... do you feel different when you are pregnant or anything? iv never wanted children, but i cannot go through another abortion... please can i have some advice x

heya hun,

If halfway through the pregnancy you decide that you can't keep the baby then consider having the little one adopted maybe, i was 18 when i first got pregnant i had only been with my husband for 3 months (we knew each other 4 weeks the day we got married) and we wern't ready for a baby, i was never maternal and never even considered having kids, my partner had already lost a son with a previous partner, and he wasn't sure he could havndle having another child.

however we went through with the pregnancy and like Sarah i found it hard to bond with my daughter i also missed out on the rush of love i just remember looking down at this little baby still attached to me and thinking "Jesus i have to look after you" it was scary, but given time you get to know that little person and their traits and the love grows before you know it.

I am now nearly 30 weeks with my 4th baby and i love being a mother, i still have days when i think "sh*t i can't do this" but when they throw their little arms around you and tell you they love you it makes it all worth while, it's the best feeling in the world.

Like i said in the begining there are other options available to you, talk to your DR/MW about how you feel and they will talk you through the options.

take care hun, i hope you make the right decision for YOU.
much love
Leitia xx

I was 21 when I fell pregnant with my 1st baby. It was a planned pregnancy and also much wanted after a miscarriage 3 months before. When I got to around 6 months I completely changed my mind on having a baby (even though there wasnt a lot I could do at that stage)! I was certain I wouldnt be able to cope with a baby, really worried I wouldnt love the baby etc. Had loads of thought going through my mind. After a few weeks these thoughts dissapeared and I was looking forward to seeing the baby. I was in labour for nearly 2 days and was absolutely shattered by the time I had given birth that I didnt even want to hold the baby straight away once back on the ward. It took me about 5-6 hours before I wanted to pick him up and cuddle him and finally have a good look at him. I also didnt feel that rush of love straight away as some people say they do.

Anyway I am 28 (next week) and am pregnant with my 5th baby. Already have 4 gorgeous boys and am quietly hoping for a girl but not to bothered.

When you do have this baby dont worry about the rush of love etc, I promise you it will come (with avengance) and you will wonder why you ever wrote this post. I am 7 weeks and 2 days into the pregnancy. If you ever feel as though you need to chat anytime feel free to pm me. Let me know how you get on.

Take care and think positive
Sarah

xx

I have just read your other message on the abortion forum. I was in a similar situation, i have only been wth my bf for 9 months and im 20 and he is 21. I fell pregnant in sept, and like you had no idea what to do. I was going round in circles and driving myself up the wall thinking about it all the time.

I decided to keep the baby, after reading up on abrtion and deciding i could not go through with it.
I no i have made the right decision for me, but i do no it will be very hard and i will lose out on a lot. But the way i think of it is, its not the babys fault and you just have to make the best out of a situation.
Also think about the positives, the beautiful baby you will have, that you created and all the wondeful times you will have with that child.

Its a huge decision to make, and either way its very scary! But make sure you make the right decision for YOU.

If you dont think you could go through with another termination, and you gut instinct is to keep the baby then follow your heart. You sound like you have a very supporting bf, which is great.

Sorry for ranting on, i just know how difficult this time is for you, i hope i have been some help to you.

big hugs

kate & peanut 14+4 x

im glad youve made yur decision you will prop still feel strange and worried for a while i still wonder if im doing the right thing but im happy with my decision and like you i didnt want to have another abortion. im also 23. you will feel different and as soon as you start buying baby stuff and choosing what you think is best for baby it will help alot. even if you do still wobble its ok with my daughter i was adamant i didnt want another and got depression and even saw a woman about getting the baby adopted but as i got bigger and started buying stuff just incase i felt better and when i had her i loved her instantly. its the hormones they make you do funny things. the important thing is to remember is you have options making youself feel trapped in will just scare the poop out of you. so breath and take one day at a time somedays i forget that im pregnant till he starts kicking me then i have an omg what am i doing this for moment quickly followed by a rush of love the little monster is non stop.
good luck hun and if you need to chat or moan we are here and there is usually someone going thru the same thing. so relax and enjoy. you can do it.