I recently found out I'm about 8 weeks pregnant. I've told my boyfriend whom I've been dating for just over eight months, and he, understandably, is petrified. He's so concerned about how it's affecting him that he hasn't really thought about how it's affecting my life. I have yet to tell my parents, which is my main concern right now. I don't really know anyone who has gone through this and as great as my friends have been (they really have been awesome for me), they can't really relate. I just need someone who understands what I'm going through, someone who I can relate to. I'm in university right now and I have a lot of decisions to make about school, finances, etc. If anyone has any sort of advice, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

I just found out last tuesday I was pregnant. Im 6 weeks at the moment and Im so scared. I told some of my friends who have been good about it and i told my boyfriend of two and a half years. At first I was sure I was going to get an abortion, but as i have been learning about the pregnancy more and more, i have come to get attached to the baby. It is such a hard age to get pregnant as we are not teenagers, but it would be much easier and accepted if we were 24-25. I am thinking that I will keep it but I dont want to be a poor mum and i want my child to be happy and safe and not worry about money as i used to as a child. I just dont know. my partener is very supportive but terrifed and im scred it will tear us apart.

Hello
Ive been reading these forum things all day and yours is the only one that stands out.
I realised my period was 5 days late so 2 days ago i took a pregnancy test. I was so so shocked to find that it was positive. I love children....but like you i turned 20 last month. If i was working fulltime i think it would be different but i desperately want to get my degree so i can make something of my life and enable myself to make a life so i can have a family that feel comfortable. My boyfriend and I have only been together under 4 months, we spoke briefly about the situation today but he just keeps saying...''what kind of life would it have, do you really think we could do it?''
The thing is, if i did decide to keep it there would be no 'think' about it, i would take care of my baby just as any caring mother, but i fear it beggars the question 'is love enough' i know i could love my baby but i terrified that i wouldnt be able to give it what ordinarily i would do. I keep trying to dream up scenarios about how i could stil go to lectures and get a small part time job etc but i try not to think to much about it because i just get too scared. Ive told no one except for my boyfriend. I am trying to figure out a way to tell my mum, but i am currently in essex to spend xmas with my bf and his family so i wont see her untill after new year. I know that the most sensible thing to do would be to have an abortion but i hate the thought of destroying something so innocent for mostly selfish reasons. I just wanted you to know youre not alone and to ask your thoughts on your education and what you would do about it??
Thankyou
xxxxx

I'm in the same positon, I'm 20 also and I'm in uni.. you're probably a bit further on now but im about 7 weeks. I haven't actually mentioned anything to the uni yet and wonder what they will recommend because of course i want to finish uni. I ended up telling my parents and they were cool about it, which really surprised me. One thing i found is that after i told them, i found nothing could bring me down or make me feel less than what i am, because no matter what anyone else says, if you've got your parents support than you'll be fine. Even if they didn't come around so soon, they certainly will when the baby's on it's way! Although i feel okay, i do feel alone right now... i have a few problems at the moment with my partner but im trying not to let it get me down, because what matters at the moment is keeping that baby safe. I'm so happy that i am bring ing life into this world even though i know there may be hard times, but to you and evey one else who's going through a similar situation.. keep your head up and be proud that God has granted you to be a mommy!!
It will be nice to keep in touch as i don't really have anyone at the mo that i can relate to about being a first time mom... Let me know your progress at some point. All the best, Momtobe x

the other guy i mentioned near the end is my ex, he never cared about me. so i'm glad i have my new guy, he's much better then my ex. we plan on getting married too.

hi there i was looking for girls my age that are pregnant. and now i found them. i found out last month that i was pregnant. i'm 23, my soon to be husband is 21. he supports me on wanting to keep the baby. i mean for all i know this could be the last chance i get to have a kid. the guy i dated, got me pregnant 3 times, and made me get rid of them. i was also on birth control for the longest time. my due date is suppose to be on my little brother's b-day. july 24th,2007.

hiya i know how you feel ive just turned 20 and im 16 weeks pregnant and terrified. my boyfriend is only 20 aswell and he is just as scared. we try to support each other as much as possible but i still cant get rid of that scared feelin i think its all part of pregnancy especially if its your first. i was worried about telling my dad i was pregnant as i had just started a midwifery course at uni and thought he would go mad but when i told him he has been so supportive. pregnancy is a hard time. i think telling your parents will lift a great weight off your shoulders and you can start enjoying your pregnancy with your parents support. Kayleigh xxx

"My heart goes out to you "

I am kind of in a similar position to you. I was due to enter my second year at university in Oct just gone but an unplanned pregnancy prevented me from doing so. I found out i was pregnant during the mid term holidays and basically had 6 weeks to make a decision and come to some sort of conclussion about how the rest of my life was going to be. My partner was shocked as we were always really careful and always used contraception. But I guess sometimes mother nature decides what goes. all i could think was "What am I going to do??" 19 years old, surviving (just about) on a student loan and pregnant. My first obstacle was to tell my mum, suprisingly she was great, I must admit her face spelt out disapointment but at the end of the day she is my mum and the bond between a mother and child is super strong!!! she vowed to stick by me and i'm writing this today 33 weeks pregnant, thanking god i didn't make the wrong decision. I am so glad i kept my baby boy and with every kick i'm reminded that i too have that irreplaceable bond with my child. As for uni? Well they were great, despite the shame i felt at first, they managed to persuade me i wasn't the first person in the world to fall pregnant and at the end of the day i'm not a child. I will be returning to uni next October when my son will be approx 9 months and he will attend the creche whilst I am in lessons. I dont doubt it will be hard but whoever said it was going to be easy??? As for finances, I havent had to worry about a thing. My friends and family have been so supportive and have bought me the majority of stuff i have needed and me and my partner have had very little to buy. I did have a part time job as well as university so i do get maternity pay which is a great help and my partner works full time so is able to support us. It is entirely your decision but i hope my advice is helpful. I hope that you decide to do whats best for your baby and not whats best for you or your partner as like it or not, you are a mother and owe your child that one honour.

Thank you guys for being supportive. Today has been an especially rough day, and it really helped for me to go back and read what you all wrote. Your support means a lot to me right now. It's exactly what I need. I'm sick of hearing what everyone thinks I should and shouldn't be doing right now, and I hear enough about how I'm screwing up, so it's about time someone didn't judge me and just supported me. Thanks again.

hiya,
just seen your post im 20 aswell and just found out im about 5weeks pregnant my boyfriend is also in a state of shock, im sure your boyfriend will come around talk to him ask him if theres anything he wants to know about it or if he doesnt want to talk why not get some info for dads to be he can then read this in his own time.
On the parent front they might be alittle bit shocked but they're usually fine i was pregnant 2years ago(decided not 2 keep it)and when i told my dad he just had a bland face asked me how far i was then told me i was stupid, so not really worried this time they will be fine theyre gonna be grandparents and i think every parent secretly looks forward to that.
hope all goes well, were both the same age and in the same boat so we can help each other out
take care
kayleigh xxx

Hi Ive just read your forum. Worrying wont help anyone or anything. For starters this is your body and you have to first decide what you want before worrying about others and what they will say. I was first pregnant at 18 (I chose not to have this baby). I met a guy at 20 and married, shortly after I had a baby - (who is now 14). My marriage didnt last longer than 6 years but Men come and Men may go but your children will always be there. I now am married again with another daughter (aged 6) and pregnant with my (I say) last child (in the 16th week). I cannot imagine my life without my children and have never regretted having them, although financially at times it can be hard - this is normal. The best times in life are simply the time spent watching them grow.On the other hand, like I said this is your choice and dont allow anyone to judge you....I wish you luck..........

I am 23 and have an 11 month old. I am also pregnant with my second child and due in May. Both pregnancies where unplanned. My first child is a condom baby and this pregnancy I was on birth control. I finished college after my first son was born and am now working as a teacher. My husband and I have had money problems over the past few years, but have been okay. We are getting our finaces under control and things get better every day. We were not married when I first found out I was pregnant but dating seriously. It is definelty possible and rewarding to be a young mom. My advice is to continue to reach out for support. It really helped me to join a mommy and me support group after my son was born b/c none of my friends could relate to what I was going through. I hope this helps.