Pregnant at 20 and terrified

I recently found out I'm about 8 weeks pregnant. I've told my boyfriend whom I've been dating for just over eight months, and he, understandably, is petrified. He's so concerned about how it's affecting him that he hasn't really thought about how it's affecting my life. I have yet to tell my parents, which is my main concern right now. I don't really know anyone who has gone through this and as great as my friends have been (they really have been awesome for me), they can't really relate. I just need someone who understands what I'm going through, someone who I can relate to. I'm in university right now and I have a lot of decisions to make about school, finances, etc. If anyone has any sort of advice, I'd really appreciate it. Thanks.

It happened to me

hi, im 26 now and am pregnant and the father wants nothin to do wit it and so i havnt heard from him since i told him lol but i also have a 7 yr old, i found out i was pregnant wen i was 18 and had my son wen i was 19. its a shock but u will get through it and im sure ur parents will b fine, yes dissapointed and yes sad for u but wen the little un arrives they wont kno how they coped wit out it! thats wot its like wit my james, cant imagine him not bein ere, everyone loves him and couldnt b wit out him and im sure thats how it will b wit my new one. if i was u i would saty in university too, ide try to get as much help and support as poss and try my hardest to saty in education, im sure everyone else would want u to stay in education too so will b more than happy to help, also remember u get free child care if ur in education from the time the child is 3 months usually, some child care providers take them from birth, but thats very rare, there is a lot of help out there so dont fret. good luck and i really hope everything works out well for u, xxx

Pregnant and 20

I am also 20 and pregnant but the difference is that the father of my unborn child lives 2 hours away from me and wants to get rid of the baby. now i have had an abortion once before and it was one of the hardest things that i have ever had to do. i was also had a still birth at almost 6 months. the father now of my baby is pushing me to have get rid of the baby. now i have been threw everything you can imagine when it comes to family. i grew up with out a mother and jumped from house to house cause my father had to raise 3 small children by himself.
i am 8 weeks now and i dont know if i should just do what he wants me to do or not. now i know that end the end its my decision but i know how it feels to go without one parent and would never wish that upon my baby.
just the other day he was picking out names and telling me everything that we are going to do...now he is telling me that he is still in love with his ex of 3 1/2 years which is understandable. but how the hell am i supposed to feel
me and the father really dont get alone at all but i dont want to make that excuse why we get rid of the baby
i wish someone could just tell me what i should do and tell me that everything is going to be okay
and the bad thing is that me and the father have only known each other for like 4 months now

now getting to your problem it is totally up to you in the end. it is normal for him to be scared as hell and as well as yourself. i strongly advise you to tell your family. they are the ones who can help you with everything and can further help you on your decision. i wish i had family that could help me out i only have some of my friends and my sister but she is having problems with her husband, 2 kids and she is 4 months pregnant as well. just think things threw everyday and try not to stress i know that is easier said than done but it will hurt the baby if you decide to have it and you are putting all this stress on it. everything will work out for the best and i hope you tell your family. let me know how it goes and how everything is going. i am right there with you girly...i know you can do this.

Me 2!

I just found out last tuesday I was pregnant. Im 6 weeks at the moment and Im so scared. I told some of my friends who have been good about it and i told my boyfriend of two and a half years. At first I was sure I was going to get an abortion, but as i have been learning about the pregnancy more and more, i have come to get attached to the baby. It is such a hard age to get pregnant as we are not teenagers, but it would be much easier and accepted if we were 24-25. I am thinking that I will keep it but I dont want to be a poor mum and i want my child to be happy and safe and not worry about money as i used to as a child. I just dont know. my partener is very supportive but terrifed and im scred it will tear us apart.

Reply to: pregnant at 20 and terrified

Hello
Ive been reading these forum things all day and yours is the only one that stands out.
I realised my period was 5 days late so 2 days ago i took a pregnancy test. I was so so shocked to find that it was positive. I love children....but like you i turned 20 last month. If i was working fulltime i think it would be different but i desperately want to get my degree so i can make something of my life and enable myself to make a life so i can have a family that feel comfortable. My boyfriend and I have only been together under 4 months, we spoke briefly about the situation today but he just keeps saying...''what kind of life would it have, do you really think we could do it?''
The thing is, if i did decide to keep it there would be no 'think' about it, i would take care of my baby just as any caring mother, but i fear it beggars the question 'is love enough' i know i could love my baby but i terrified that i wouldnt be able to give it what ordinarily i would do. I keep trying to dream up scenarios about how i could stil go to lectures and get a small part time job etc but i try not to think to much about it because i just get too scared. Ive told no one except for my boyfriend. I am trying to figure out a way to tell my mum, but i am currently in essex to spend xmas with my bf and his family so i wont see her untill after new year. I know that the most sensible thing to do would be to have an abortion but i hate the thought of destroying something so innocent for mostly selfish reasons. I just wanted you to know youre not alone and to ask your thoughts on your education and what you would do about it??
Thankyou
xxxxx

Wanting a baby

hello
i just read your message. and im nearly 20 but me and my bf r trying 4 a baby. plus im at uni but i only go in 4 2 days a week. and he works full time. i no im young and i got my hole life ahead of me, but i really want to be a mother and aswell as a good wife to be. telling my mum will be hard as she had me wen she was 19, but nowing that i can have something so special makes me so happy. but then each person to there own i guess, but your not alone as long as you have the heart and love you can do it
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Wanting a baby also...

hello! I just read your blog, im kind of in the same situation. my bf is a pro athlete and im only 20 and a jr in college... we both really want to start having children and get married now but im not sure if it would be worth giving up my degree for. so i was just wonderng... do you have any regrets having kids at 20?

Hi kystaff

I'm in the same positon, I'm 20 also and I'm in uni.. you're probably a bit further on now but im about 7 weeks. I haven't actually mentioned anything to the uni yet and wonder what they will recommend because of course i want to finish uni. I ended up telling my parents and they were cool about it, which really surprised me. One thing i found is that after i told them, i found nothing could bring me down or make me feel less than what i am, because no matter what anyone else says, if you've got your parents support than you'll be fine. Even if they didn't come around so soon, they certainly will when the baby's on it's way! Although i feel okay, i do feel alone right now... i have a few problems at the moment with my partner but im trying not to let it get me down, because what matters at the moment is keeping that baby safe. I'm so happy that i am bring ing life into this world even though i know there may be hard times, but to you and evey one else who's going through a similar situation.. keep your head up and be proud that God has granted you to be a mommy!!
It will be nice to keep in touch as i don't really have anyone at the mo that i can relate to about being a first time mom... Let me know your progress at some point. All the best, Momtobe x

Sorry forgot something.

the other guy i mentioned near the end is my ex, he never cared about me. so i'm glad i have my new guy, he's much better then my ex. we plan on getting married too.

Hey there i'm 23 and just found out i'm pregnant

hi there i was looking for girls my age that are pregnant. and now i found them. i found out last month that i was pregnant. i'm 23, my soon to be husband is 21. he supports me on wanting to keep the baby. i mean for all i know this could be the last chance i get to have a kid. the guy i dated, got me pregnant 3 times, and made me get rid of them. i was also on birth control for the longest time. my due date is suppose to be on my little brother's b-day. july 24th,2007.

Just turned 20 and pregnant

hiya i know how you feel ive just turned 20 and im 16 weeks pregnant and terrified. my boyfriend is only 20 aswell and he is just as scared. we try to support each other as much as possible but i still cant get rid of that scared feelin i think its all part of pregnancy especially if its your first. i was worried about telling my dad i was pregnant as i had just started a midwifery course at uni and thought he would go mad but when i told him he has been so supportive. pregnancy is a hard time. i think telling your parents will lift a great weight off your shoulders and you can start enjoying your pregnancy with your parents support. Kayleigh xxx

My heart goes out to you

I am kind of in a similar position to you. I was due to enter my second year at university in Oct just gone but an unplanned pregnancy prevented me from doing so. I found out i was pregnant during the mid term holidays and basically had 6 weeks to make a decision and come to some sort of conclussion about how the rest of my life was going to be. My partner was shocked as we were always really careful and always used contraception. But I guess sometimes mother nature decides what goes. all i could think was "What am I going to do??" 19 years old, surviving (just about) on a student loan and pregnant. My first obstacle was to tell my mum, suprisingly she was great, I must admit her face spelt out disapointment but at the end of the day she is my mum and the bond between a mother and child is super strong!!! she vowed to stick by me and i'm writing this today 33 weeks pregnant, thanking god i didn't make the wrong decision. I am so glad i kept my baby boy and with every kick i'm reminded that i too have that irreplaceable bond with my child. As for uni? Well they were great, despite the shame i felt at first, they managed to persuade me i wasn't the first person in the world to fall pregnant and at the end of the day i'm not a child. I will be returning to uni next October when my son will be approx 9 months and he will attend the creche whilst I am in lessons. I dont doubt it will be hard but whoever said it was going to be easy??? As for finances, I havent had to worry about a thing. My friends and family have been so supportive and have bought me the majority of stuff i have needed and me and my partner have had very little to buy. I did have a part time job as well as university so i do get maternity pay which is a great help and my partner works full time so is able to support us. It is entirely your decision but i hope my advice is helpful. I hope that you decide to do whats best for your baby and not whats best for you or your partner as like it or not, you are a mother and owe your child that one honour.

Thanks guys

Thank you guys for being supportive. Today has been an especially rough day, and it really helped for me to go back and read what you all wrote. Your support means a lot to me right now. It's exactly what I need. I'm sick of hearing what everyone thinks I should and shouldn't be doing right now, and I hear enough about how I'm screwing up, so it's about time someone didn't judge me and just supported me. Thanks again.

Pregnant and 20

hiya,
just seen your post im 20 aswell and just found out im about 5weeks pregnant my boyfriend is also in a state of shock, im sure your boyfriend will come around talk to him ask him if theres anything he wants to know about it or if he doesnt want to talk why not get some info for dads to be he can then read this in his own time.
On the parent front they might be alittle bit shocked but they're usually fine i was pregnant 2years ago(decided not 2 keep it)and when i told my dad he just had a bland face asked me how far i was then told me i was stupid, so not really worried this time they will be fine theyre gonna be grandparents and i think every parent secretly looks forward to that.
hope all goes well, were both the same age and in the same boat so we can help each other out
take care
kayleigh xxx

Hope this helps

I am 23 and have an 11 month old. I am also pregnant with my second child and due in May. Both pregnancies where unplanned. My first child is a condom baby and this pregnancy I was on birth control. I finished college after my first son was born and am now working as a teacher. My husband and I have had money problems over the past few years, but have been okay. We are getting our finaces under control and things get better every day. We were not married when I first found out I was pregnant but dating seriously. It is definelty possible and rewarding to be a young mom. My advice is to continue to reach out for support. It really helped me to join a mommy and me support group after my son was born b/c none of my friends could relate to what I was going through. I hope this helps.