Hi All

I am now just starting to actually think about the financial aspect of having a child and rather than doing a lot of research I thought I would check if any of you ladies could help.

My preference would of course be to be a stay at home mum but to loose one wage completely isn't really an option. We would not be entitled to any financial help as we are not low earners.

We live in Ascot and I am aware that childcare in this general area is going to be expensive but am wondering if anyone knows just how expensive, for both nurseries and childminders??

I really need to weigh up whether its going to be worth going back to work. Of course I would be missing out on the most precious years, but then I am also loosing almost half of my salary in tax, paying petrol to get to and from work and then depending on the cost of childcare I may well be in a position where I am working a 37 hour week and taking home less myself (after childcare) than I pay in tax (deep breath a debate I don't really want to get into but I think its mightly unfair I am having to pay out an absolute fortune for other people to live on when I can't get any of that back if I want a break ARGH!!!!)

My other option is too look into childminding myself, I am a BTEC qualified nursery nurse and although I have never used the qualification, choosing an office based job instead, I do have this to fall back on and know I would certainly be able to provide good day care myself.

Is anyone else struggling to decide what to do after baby is born. As I say I want to of course spend as much time as poss with my baby but not at the expensive of my partner having to push himself any harder than he already does as work. I definitely wouldn't consider evening or weekend work as we would want to have quality time together as a family.

Oh and we have no relatives close by so our only option is paid childcare if I go back to work

sorry about the essay!!!

Jules 18+4

....i really cannot decide whether or not going back to work is an option. at the moment i am planning to take the whole year that i am entitled to for maternity leave and then go back on a part time basis. going back full time is not something i would consider as i want to spend time with my little one, but also want my independence and want to retain being me, rather than being 'so and sos' mum. if that makes sense?

my husband and i wont be entitled to financial help as we are not low earners. whilst i am all for the system helping out those that need it, i, like you, find it galling to pay/have been paying/husband will continue to pay, vast amounts of money into the system in tax payments, only to find that when i want to be at home to bring up our child, we are entitled to none of it back, except the £17 odd a week in child benefit that everyone gets, £17 a week doesnt go very far!!

one option would be to sell the house and buy somewhere smaller or in a cheaper area to reduce mortgage payments, but dont really like that idea because we bought where we did, and the house we did for a lot of very good reasons, none of which have changed just because i am pregnant.

i dont want to work evenings or weekends because i want to actually spend time with my husband when he is home - although in any event he works away a lot and is often abroad with his job, so when he is here, then i want to see him.

i do have relatives that live nearby - some arent an option as i dont speak to them, my brother is very good, but works on the rigs so is only here 6 months of the year and other family members work themselves. plus i kind of think, my child my responsibility - my mum has her life back now my brother and i are adults and have our own lives, and i dont want to encroach on that.

god! its so hard!!!
anyway. whinge over. good luck everyone

kelly and 36+3 bump
xx

Hey Jules,

I have a similar problem, as we live in Bedfordshire and I know that when my mat leave is up if I went back full time I'd only be earning half wage due to cost of childcare (I earn about £1000 per month, so to be honest I think this estimate is conservative). Plus I really don't want to go back until she is school age if I can help it. Similarly to you, we have no family in the area. What we have decided to do is sell our house after the baby is born, and move back to the North to be near my folks. We can get a similar sized house for about £30k cheaper than here so we will be reducing mortgage payments, council tax is half the price there, water rates are half the price and we should get about £160 per month in benefits. My partner Mark can keep his job but be based in the North, and my parents will be close by to help with child care if I feel the urge/ we need me to get a job. It took us a while to fathom out that this was the best option, but the only thing holding us here was my job and I hate it anyway so had no intention of going back whatever happened. We may struggle for a while, camping holidays will be the limit for example, but I would rather do that if I can. hopefully this plan will work out! I hope you sort out what's best for you too hun, I know its not easy! Sorry for going on!

Em 22+1 girl bump xx

I have been thinking about this alot to. i love my job but its a long way from home (1.5hrs each way) and long hours. I'm on my own to as my partner walked out on us. I've just spoken to my HR dept and she mentioned a childcare voucher scheme they are starting which many companies have. it means that they pay the childcare out of your salary to your childminder/nursery before tax is taken so you get your childcare at approx 30% discount. could be an option as thats looking like an option to me reduces the cost abit

hope that helps alittle
Lis and 27+2wk girl bump x

I'll look into that.

Unlike you though I REALLY don't like my job, I spend Monday through Friday wishing my life away!! I do have the option of WFH from time to time though so can't really grumble

x

Am counting the weeks til I leave. Sad or what?!

me too, I have 16 weeks left and they can't go quickly enough!!!

x

Thanks for your reply. We thought about the moving thing to, I am originally from Newcastle and its very tempting to head back up there and have a small mortgage. We even got to the point of discussing with my OH's manager who was happy with this. But unfortuantely because of the work he does (IT sales manager) his clients on the whole are in or around London and it would mean him spending his life on the road. So we decided as brilliant as it would be it just wouldn't work for us.

Its a real tough one, I don't know our little ones aren't even here yet and already causing headaches.

Good luck with your move back up north

x

Good luck whichever way you decide to go with this decision, but whatever you do it's a tough one. With my first child I was made redundant while on maternity leave so I was kinda forced into a decision I didn't want to make. I didn't want to leave my baby, however as it worked out I went back to work for just 4 weeks after my mat leave ended to work out my notice so I could claim my redundancy money. In a way it did me a favour as I was able to stay at home for a further 6 months or so until my son was 18 months, living off my redundancy pay.

Then came the hard bit. I was loving staying at home with Tyler 24/7 and didn't want to go back to work but eventually I had to face up to it purely for financial reasons. Thankfully I found a local job working part-time where I just do about 20 hours a week. It's a real strain on the pocket as my wage is much less than half what I used to earn, but we get by. It's a compromise between the rock and the hard place - to earn a good wage but pay loads in childcare or not earn anything and struggle like hell just to stay at home with my child. However it meant we had to look into childcare even though I'd never wanted it.

So now I still work part-time although I can work slightly longer hours now that Tyler is in Nursery, and my b/f works nights but also starts a bit earlier in the evenings for some extra money. It's extremely difficult but we just have to get on with it. He has a very good income so we are not entitled to any kind of income support just on his wage alone, although we do now claim tax credits towards the cost of childcare. They don't pay it all but do cover about 65% of the cost so it's managable. It's worth looking into this if you are considering childcare, as a lot of people don't even realise they can get it. I think it covers a joint income of anything up to about £50,000, over that and you're on your own. However there are conditions and certain exceptions, but there's nothing to lose by enquiring about it.

We were lucky in that we found a local Nursery just around the corner from our home, and it's very reasonably priced. We pay £16 for a 6-hour session day, 3 times a week so our monthly bill is usually around £200. Of this, the tax credits pay around £130. Thankfully in May he will turn 3 years old so is then entitled to 15 hours a week free of charge so our costs will cut dramatically. But then I will be paying for another one in a year or so so here we go again!!

Lisa n bump 9w1d