Anyone else's oh find it really hard when the baby cries?

Hannah is now 10 days old and I am demand feeding which happens every 2, 3 or 4 hours. But she is really hard to get settled after a feed and doesn't like her crib or carry cot. We know she's not hungry after a big feed and after checking nappies etc. sometimes she is just still upset - so probably tired. My OH then takes her so that I can get a rest for a bit.

He then gets really upset though when she doesn't settle straight away. And after half an hour is really stressed about it. I am much more calm about it and know that we are doing all the right things.

Any advice? How does your over halve's react to crying. I've tried to tell him he's doing really well but he feels so helpless when he can't get her to stop.

Bye for now,
Anne and baby Hannah - 10 days old

Hi Anne
I've just read an amazing book called Baby Bliss (also call The Happiest Baby in earlier editions) by Dr Harvey Karp. It has lots of good ideas to help soothe a crying baby. I loved his philosophies and found his solutions helpful. Of course it depends on your outlook and I know not everyone shares the same ideas of parenting but it might be worth checking out?

I'm the opposite in that I cant stand it when my baby cries, yet his Dad seems to be able to handle it better! So I know how your OH feels. The book helped me be a little more proactive in trying to soothe my baby and that's better than getting worked up and frustrated!!

good luck
Laura and baby Caelan (3 1/2wks)xxxx

Hi Anne,

Lily is 11 days now, just a day older than Hannah! We're quite lucky with her as she only ever cries when she needs something, fingers crossed it stays this way, but yea I can relate to you on the OH thing, he seems to get a bit more stressed out than me when changing her nappy, because she hates it!

He also gets upset when she settles with me and not him, silly really but quite cute.

We should keep in contact and see how they are developing! Shes opening her eyes a lot more now, which I love because shes so pretty!

Take care hun,

Emily and Lily. (11 days!)
xxx

if they just want you to take the baby or if its their frustration at not being able to help the little un.
I've had a few babies and when this kind of crying happens and you're sure that you've done all you can, then if practical (if not 4 am) take baby out for a walk in a sling or in the pram as theres no point everyone getting stressed. Also, the one left in house can get on with dinner or washing etc. There's a good chance of baby becoming more settled when outside too.

I had to do this with 2 of my babies and even if they weren't settling then the one left at home was able to cope better as had had an hour or so without the crying. When my babies were like this, it was colic. The first time caused by an allergy to formula milk and the second time was probably caused by breastfeeding (colic stopped when I stopped bfeeding and HV intimated it may have been the cause). As your baby is like this after a feed could it be colic or other winding probs?

Good luck

Jen and no 5

Hello,

Eleanor was very restless and crying quite a bit in the evenings for the first 5 weeks or so, I didn't worry about it, as like Hannah, she was fed and changed etc and I was told lots of babies get irritable in the evenings, over the past week or so she has started getting into a routine in the evening, settling down about 7.30 in her chair after a bath and feed, then we move her to her cot when we go to bed, she doesn't wake even as we put her grow bag on and she is sleeping through until around 5.30am, fantasic! It means we get time for ourselves in the evening.

Sometimes though through a couple of weeks there, she would be restless after her feed, but not hungry! I mentioned it to the HV who said it sounded as if her digestive system was no longer suited to the SMA GOLD she had been on since birth, we have changed her to Aptimil 1st Milk and she gets her wind up easier and her bowels seem looser (but not OTT!) she is also having more wet nappies(a good thing apparently, means she is well hydrated), so I don't think I realised that actually SMA GOLD wasn't suiting her. The HV said babies can have trouble digesting some things just as we do.

My OH also had a fair bit of trouble getting stressed with Eleanor when she was crying, he didn't have as much patience as me, which is unusual, because in general I have a shorter fuse than him...for me, Eleanor crying doesn't bother me, apart from if I am really tired, when I don't have the enegery, but I plod on where as he would try and give her to me! lol! My OH has got better at calming her, but he went through a stage of asking why he couldn't do it...I'm sure your OH will get the hang of it in time, he'll get more confident & comfortable I imagine.

Both OH & I were 1st time parents and even now we wonder whether we are doing the right thing sometimes, is it a feed? something else? arrrghh!

Take care & good luck, feel free to PM me anytime!

Rachael & Eleanor (6 weeks, 5 days old)
XxxX