this may not be the same but i have twins and one is more demanding than the other they are 17mnths old and jack is very much a mummys boy where as mason is more laid back i try and give as many cuddles to both so that they dont feel left out i know it will be hard to begin with but im sure u will cope also my sister inlaw has four girls very close in age and wot she used to do is if someone offered to take the older one out so she could have a break she used to say take the baby so that she could spend time with the older ones so they never felt left out hope this helps take care leanne

As some of you know I have 4 sons, the youngest is just turned 10 months and I am due in 6 weeks. Anyway, I don't like how I feel at the mo toward the new baby. I know that the baby didn't ask to come and it's all my fault but I keep thinking I've got a baby I don't need another. Throughout the pregnancy I've tried to look positively at a wee 'surprise' and remember that women the world over would kill to reproduce and can't and having had 2 m/c's in the past whilst ttc, I thought God thought he'd make up for them heartbreaks by giving me another and everything happens for a reason. But I'm getting scared now about how to cope and when I'm holding Charlie (the baby) and having fun with him or when he crawls over to my feet to be picked up I feel sorry for him as he won't have such an attentive mum soon and also that he has such irresponsible parents, he should have been able to be no 1 for longer than 11 months as his big brothers got their mum to themselves for a couple of years before new additions.
Sometimes I do feel excited, quite often in fact,that we'll be meeting someone new soon and wondering who it is, but I'm getting quite overwhelmed lately by the negative, as I get bigger and more uncomfy and resentful.
Will this feeling go away? I'd never forgive myself if anything bad happened after feeling like this. At least I can admit it on this forum, I daren't say it to anyone else. Please tell me I'm not a bad person (unless I am!!!)

Worried Jen 33 + 5 x

this may not be the same but i have twins and one is more demanding than the other they are 17mnths old and jack is very much a mummys boy where as mason is more laid back i try and give as many cuddles to both so that they dont feel left out i know it will be hard to begin with but im sure u will cope also my sister inlaw has four girls very close in age and wot she used to do is if someone offered to take the older one out so she could have a break she used to say take the baby so that she could spend time with the older ones so they never felt left out hope this helps take care leanne

sent you a private message xx

hi just want to say that a bad person would not be considering the feelings of exising children. What your doing is worrying about your 10mth missing out on quality time with you and that makes you have mixed feelings for your unborn. I personally think this is totally understandable. Im sure when baby arrives you will be fine and all resentment will disappear. The age gap may work really well for you all. Although really difficult in the begining as they both get oldr they will be interested in the doing the same activities and hopefully be a great playmate for eachother. Lots of mums choose small gaps and as an expirianced mum im sure you can find away to include all your children so no one will miss out.
Good luck
Love donna mum to 2 boys and 28wks preg X

Hi

Like yourself I have 4 boys. When I had my youngest (now 2 and a half) I had 4 kids under the age of 5!!!! Didnt quite plan it out like that but am soooo glad it did.

When I first found out I was expecting baby no 4 I went into a bit of shock for a few days but once the idea of having 4 kids under the age of 5 sank in I was really looking forward to meeting the baby. Had a relativly easy pregnancy with no 4. Just found it a bit hard towards the end of the pregnancy as my 3rd boy was a big boy and I also broke my foot when I was 7 months and was in plaster for 5 weeks!

When I had baby no 4 I made sure that Finnley (boy no 3) didnt feel left out. I made sure that I only held the baby when feeding, burping, crying etc otherwise I thought he might feel resentment towards Thomas (boy no 4). As soon as the evenings came and all the older boys were in bed I wouldnt put Thomas down for the whole evening.

All the boys play quite well together (they do have their moments).

I now have 10 weeks left to go till baby boy no 5 makes an apperance and I soooo cant wait. I will have 5 boys under the age of 7 and a half. They all have their own time with me and I wouldnt change anything about the age gap between them.

Sorry if not been much help but sort of know what you are going through.

All the best and all will be fine.

Sarah 29+6 blue bump

xx

They are all mummys boys to, so I get tonnes of cuddles and kisses which is always a bonus!

I'll have a go at all the tips. I am experienced mum just not at having them so close together but obviously some of you are so thanks for tips. Guess it's just how I'm feeling the now. You know what it's like, crying at adverts on tv etc.


Jen x