"Stopping breast feeding and really sad "

Hello all,

My little boy is 3 and 1/2 weeks old and 12 lb 5 oz. After much soul searching and sheer mental and physical exhaustion I have decided to stop breast feeding and only use bottles.

The problem is I feel really emotional and weepy about the decision and almost feel Im being a bad mum. Although I know the decision is right for me, the idea of my breast milk drying up makes me incredibly sad. After thoroughly enjoying my pregnancy, I feel that my breast milk is the last part of my body designed for my child and Im really sad at losing that.

I know its the right thing to do to make mentally and physically fit to look after my baby but Im just wondering if anyone else feels this way. The midwifes constantly plugging 'breast is best' makes me feel even worse! Anyone else out there a jibbering wreck?!

Love teachermum xxx

just wanted to say a big thank you for everyones replies, they really made me smile It really does make me feel better to think that others feel the same.

It makes me cross though that so many women are made to feel bad about stopping breast feeding. Its a very emotional time anyway and surely we should be supported, especially as we have our littleuns best interests at heart.

I had a really difficult birth- had to go by ambulance to hospital, baby had poo inside me, needed ventouse delivery, baby was 10lb 9oz, had to be cut and needed stitches, lost a litre of blood, afterwards had a gape in my stitches and had piles the size of a small country (sorry tmi, lol) Despite this I still tried breast feeding and even though it was really hard I carried on for the sake of my son. However the midwifes have made me feel guilty at every turn. One even 'told me off' for expressing! Different sucking motion it would appear! My babys now 12lb 5oz and is happy and healthy and I vow not to be made to feel guilty anymore. Things must change. Victory speech over

Thank you so much again for putting a smile on a very tired and emotional mum's face.

Teachermum xxxxxxxx

I bet your boy is lovely, healthy and happy, just as we all want our children to be, you should be proud of yourself for what you have achieved, we don't give ourselves enough credit for what we manage to do in the weeks after giving birth.

Love Emma and Erin nearly 13 weeks!

I totally know how you feel. I stopped breastfeeding Sophie at 3 weeks, it just wasnt working out, I wasnt producing enough and my poor girl was constantly hungry.

I did feel guilty but within a day of actually changing I started to feel so much better. Both Soph and I were so much happier, I had more energy for her and she seemed to realize that. We still have lovely mummy and baby time together when I give her her bottles and it really helps that OH can help with the night feeds, giving me some much needed sleep.

Of course breast is best, but you still need to be sensible and do what is best for you and your baby and sometimes the benefits of stopping outweigh the benefits of carrying on. Soph is 6 1/2 weeks now and she is thriving.

Give it time hun and you'll start to feel better about it, once you see that your little one is happy, you will be too.

Love and hugs

Sarah. xxxx

hi hun, aww i totally know what you mean...the fact that you tried it is excellent...you're being a good mum by deciding what is right for your baby. i breastfed for 6 months and still felt the same feelings as you...just a bit sad that it was the whole pregnancy thing over. you've given your baby a good start!!!
dont be feeling sad just think about all the other things you have to look forward to! take care, and dont be worrying about the midwife or health visitor, you're the mum and you know best!
love
lynni and Emilie xxx

"Hi "

i can't answer from experience (yet) but i just wanted to say that it sounds to me like you are making a decision a good mother would make. despite how sad it makes you feel you are choosing the thing that means you can take care of your baby in the best way possible. i think you should be proud of the strength you have to make that decision.
and speaking from a daughter's point of view (ok, so it's been quite a while *cough* since i've been a little girl, but i have worked with small children) and mummies are designed for their babies/children in the little one's eyes, as far as your little one is concerned the whole of you is for her, regardless of how you are feeding her

i am sorry you are sad :S and i hope that you feel better really soon!

and from what i've read as to midwifes opinions - it sounds to me as though those that are plugging 'breast is best' regardless of situation just sounds like people who don't think and who can't empathise, which in my mind makes for a bad midwife. i mean, it's obvious in many cases that the baby is better off with a different milk, for many reasons, so i think that makes 'whatever is best for baby is best'
he is your baby and you know what is best, and you feeling good is a big part of that you need to look after yourself as well

i love your nickname - my mum was a teacher when i was at school too - so it makes me think of her

i hope that all makes sense, it does in my mind, but i am having a serious case of pregnancy brain at the moment hehe

hugs
elizabeth xxx
16 weeks today!

My little boy is 3 months old now and over the past 3 weeks ive been weaning him onto bottles because i was just too exhausted and it got to the point where he just wasnt satisfied (think the tiredness was stopping my milk).
For the past 3 days ive not breast fed him at all and i feel so guilty and sad that that part is all over, I guess that it is all part of the process and that it will pass soon. You are not alone so try not to beat yourself up over it

kirst xxx

P.S bet we feel just the same in having to let go on the first day of nursery or school lol.

I felt this way too. Erin could not latch on so I expressed for 3 weeks which was time consuming and depressing as it just reminded me I could not feed her properly. I got very depressed and decided to give up altogether, for the same reasons as you, being fit enough to look after Erin. I too beat myself up and felt terrible, but there is NO reason to do so, your baby is healthy and happy which is all that matters. Erin has come on fine on formula, and tho I sometimes feel a bit sad when all my friends are breastfeeding, I'm fine too.

Take care

Emma and 12 week Erin

I lasted 4 weeks bfing Charlie. When I decided to stop a HV was at the door twice a day and she kept trying to get me to contact support groups and added to the guilt and sadness I already had due to knowing I couldn't last any longer.

Was feeding for around 18 hours a day, unable to express more than a teaspoon so couldn't get any help with a feed. I was really miserable and it was taking away from my baby joy.

Yes, it may be best nutritionally but at what cost to me, my other neglected kids, OH and baby who begin to resent. When I had dealt with my own feelings of failure I reached the conclusion that giving up was most def the right decision.

And this time around I said I would only bf whilst in hospital and that's what I done, I bf when it was just me and Francis in hospital with all the spare time in the world but once we got home it was bobos (from very first night home he slept from 11 pm to 7 am, coincidence?)

You'll feel bad for a wee while cos thats just how we are but it'll pass, don't worry, you'll be really enjoying the baby and wondering what all the fuss was about in a few days or a week.

Jen x

this subject makes me so angry cos HV's and m/w's put so much pressure on women to bf when it really isn't always best. You being happy and healthy and not so tired you can't even think straight has to be better for your baby than any amount of breast milk and I don't think any mum should be made to feel guilty for acknowledging that it just isn't working, it doesn't for a massive number of women. I'm not a mum yet and I do want to give bf a go but I refuse to be made to feel guilty if it doesn't work out, I will do my best and that's all I can do. It sounds to me like you've given it your best shot and, as the other girls have already said you know yourself what's best for your little boy, you're his mum however you feed him and he needs you happy and in good health. Hope you start to feel better soon hun, you really don't have anything to feel guilty about.

Lotsa love,
Clare 29 weeks today xxxx