My OH had an e-mail from work this morning to say that one of the girls he works with lost her baby yesterday. He was 3mths old and reading between the lines, it sounds like a cot death.

I used to work @ my OH's company too (that's where we met) and I never got on with this girl at all. In fact we hardly exchanged a word, just didn't get along and that was that. But I was in tears when OH read out the e-mail to me this morning. I can't begin to imagine what she and her family are going through.

Not sure what to do though. OH is due to go back to work on Monday, should I get a card just to say we're thinking of her? Don't want to add to her grief with us having just had Elise. Just feel like I want to do something.

Really don't know what to do for the best, need some advice girls.

Misschiefy & Elise (13 days old) xx

where you're coming from, it may sound harsh, but I'd leave it, if you're OH wants to verbally apologise for the loss when he see's her, that'd probably be better, she'll know you have Elise and if you didn't like one and other, she may think it's cruel, considering you didn't like each other, to then send a card now that you have your baby, see what the general consensus is, but I'd say no, although I appreciate it is a difficult situation.

Rachael & Eleanor (almost 6 months old)
xxxx

but no-one @ OH's work apart from his bosses know about Elise. We purposely kept it quiet as I'd worked there before and didn't want to make a big deal of us having a baby (to them anyway). Plus we don't do "fuss" so we didn't want cards or flowers from them.

Its difficult, the girl will be on mat leave for a while yet if she's even thinking of going back to work.

Haven't spoken to OH about it yet, wanted to get your girls opinions first.

Thanx for your reply.

xx

really tricky i never usually buy cards or things because its like a reminded day in day out are they doing anything at work that you could maybe add to?

you wanting to do something but it's hard to know how the girl in question will perceive it if you do so in this case I don't think I would. I think the idea someone else mentioned about seeing whether work are doing something and contributing to that might be more appropriate. You're bound to feel for the family more than most having a little one yourself, lets face it it's every mums worst fear but putting their feelings first is pretty much all you can do for them. It's really sad and I can imagine how you must feel, think we'll all be thinking about them and feeling for them even if they don't know it.

Lotsa love,
Clare xxx

i think it would be an idea to see if work is doing something and contribute to that.
if you were friends when working, then i'd say send a card, but not when just acquaintances or not really getting on.
i know it's tough and you want to express your sympathy, but i would also imagine that they are getting a great deal of sympathy from alot of people at the moment. there is also the fact that not everyone can accept sympathy from people they don't really know and it could aggravate their feelings atm.
of course it could also not, but i would err on the side of caution.
it's so sad, and such a horrible thing to happen.

i hope you are feeling ok now
lots of hugs
elizabeth xxx