Make it clear its unacceptable, and that you WILL leave, hopefully this will shock him into realising what he has done.

TC

Em and Erin x

after having a lovely time at cimea i'm sat here in tears, nicole wont go to sleep, nick took her though the house,and was sitting with her, she was still cry, so i went through the house to see her, i found to what to appears nick shouting at her and shakng her, i straight away shouted at him and took her away from him. he says he wasnt but i seen shaking, i've now got to try and get nicole off to sleep, do the bottles, tidy up the living and put washing away, i cant trust him with nicole, ask him to do the bottles or put away washing as he'll be to busy watching the tv. i dont know what to do, its 10pm i cant go away at this time of night cant trust nick, dont want to phone anyone to speak to has its this time of night. hes been off the whole week and has complained every single day about feeding nicole, getting up early to do the breakfast feed to let me have one lie in, or doing something ive asked him, i've put on a face for a few weeks but feeling i cant hide it any longer. its taken at less 10 mins to write this, nicole has fell asleep in my arms now. pointless post really just need to let it out. sorry guys

Sorry to read about what happened with Nick & Nicole! I hope you have managed to have a talk with Nick & express how you feel that you can't trust him with Nicole now.

Hope your weekend got abit better honey : )

Becks xx

so sorry to hear what happened. Hopefully it's opened his eyes to what he was actually doing and will have scared him enough so that he'll never do it again. Glad things have been better today.

Take care, Rach x x x

hey hunny,

Glad you are feeling better today, what a horrible situation

I know that men can be immature at times and it is a huge adjustment for everybody, however, shaking and shouting at a young baby is unforgivable (in my opinion) ..

we've all been there, pushed to the end of our tethers by babys relentless crying but there is no need to act in this way ... you need to have a serious talk with Nick about last nights events - is he aware of the potential consequences of shaking a baby ?? you need to explain to him that if he ever feels pushed to his limit, he needs to put Nicole somewhere safe and take a 5min breather.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent but you must stress that this cannot happen again !!

Big hugs,
Jo and Harry x x x

Just wanted to say I hope you're feeling better. You are ina pretty horrible position but just follow your instincts and do whats best for you and Nicole.

Take care

love Claire x x x

I went to do the bottles then decided i had a sore head with all the crying so wanted a bath, thought ... him he can do the washing as its mostly nicoles he wont need into our bedroom and wake nicole up. Went through with the washing and went do this!!!!!! I'm off for a bath. I locked the door, normally dont as the cats like to come in and check you havent drowned, so he must have known i was really upset. Came out he had put it away AND did the tidying and he said he was sorry and he was watching my favourite program only fools and horses. i went through to watch it but fell asleep on the sofa, woke up about 4am with a cover over me and the tv still on as he knows if he switches it off i will wake up. which was thoughtful of him. Havent spoke about it again but i will be setting new rules in the house once nicole has went to sleep as i dont want to fight infront of nicole, which is why i didnt loose my tepmer and kill him last night. I dont think he knew what he was doing, he anit a saint but who is, he's never did anything like that before. I think it took me as a big suprise last night as i was hurt phyically and mentally by an idoit of an ex off mine, and when i told nick about what had happened he cried, told me, he'd never hurt me and he had wished he meet me before i dated the ex. We've had a lovely day, his 2 uncles are up from london so went so they could met nicole, plus one of them is ilitan so had a lovely lunch. He's about to make me cry again as he has been so sweet with nicole. Wish i had one wish so i could wish he would be so sweet. I anit leaving nicole with him again, she's my twin and where ever i go she will be coming. I will give him one more chance then if he blows it, i leaving with nicole (he will be told that bit but not the next) and i will move down to plymouth as ive got a really good friend who i love to peices, will save on texts, and she's got a 6 month daughter so its a chum for nicole and its so far away from nick. Thanks girls for the support GROUP HUG

Lisa, but if you're having to have Nicole stapled to you anyway you're going to feel like a single parent and wonder what part he's playing in parenting so don't sweep it under the carpet, it'll just pop up again somewhere down the line.

Bring it up and talk it out, tell him how you don't trust him now and see what he has to offer.

Good Luck


Jen xxxxx

So Glad you are feelin better today chicky, i think your plan of action is a good one, but defo tell him if he ever does it again you will leave.

you know where i am if you need to chat more babes
huge massive hugs
Leitia Xx

Make it clear its unacceptable, and that you WILL leave, hopefully this will shock him into realising what he has done.

TC

Em and Erin x

"Oh hun "

Sorry to read your post, hope things are a bit better this morning and that you and Nicole are ok. Take care hun.

Rach xx + 24wk+3 lively pink bump!

im sorry thats a terrible situation to be in. I dont know how you kept restrained and didnt want to poke his eyes out. I would have totally lost my rag firstly over his total laziness and immaturity, so he cant even help out looking after his own child? That would drive me insane. And secondly and most importantly, shaking a baby? I wouldve throttled him, and if hes denying it and you saw it thats so dangerous that might mean he didnt even realise what he was doing and thats doesnt bode well for the future i couldnt leave the baby with him again, babies cry its a fact of life and sometimes theres no soothing them, so what if it happens again and he loses his rag? No i wouldnt let him have my baby unless i was there after that.
Youve done well to keep it in, but i agree its not good for you and not good for nicole babes can pick up on the tension even if your dopey OH doesnt you should let him have it, he deserves it youve done so well doing everything with a new baby and hes had an easy ride. You deserve more hun.

""

oh hun, i'm so sorry you're having to go through this :S
i have to say i agree with leitia too...

like the other girls said, have you got someone you can go to?

there is just no excuse for anyone to treat anyone like that, especially a baby!!

i really hope that things work out for you!

lots of love and hugs
elizabeth xxx

butt! We all know crying can get to you but you don't ever shake a baby. And he needs to take his turn with the baby stuff, Nicole is his baby too. Can I suggest a good talking to, hoping it might bring him to his senses. And you shouldn't have to put a brave face on it either. If something is bothering you, tell him. Don't keep it inside cos you'll just brood over it and it will esculate.

We had a bit of an off day here yesterday, but the cold shoulder soon brought him to his senses!

This needs to be nipped in the bud, my love. You and Nicole deserve better than he's giving at the moment. And don't ever feel like your posts are pointless, we're here for each other so ask away!

Be thinking of you, much love

Misschiefy & Elise (15 days old) xx

I can't believe this, its so awful, I don't really know what to say, but I think I have to agree with Leitia, I don't think I could ever trust him with her again. Where did he go after this, did you talk about it? Is there anywhere you could go?

Take care and text if you need me xx

Big hugs

Em and Erin xx

im must have one of the rare men then cos jason gets up with every feed with me he either gets the bottle and change bum while i feed or vise versa he does all the house work with me an her bottles but ive been moaning cos he never puts her down an now she a little cling on lol soppose i shouldnt complain really.

as for your situ shaking of a baby is not right hun you need to have a serious chat an explain he is to NEVER shake her if hes feeling stressed with her to walk out of the room an leave her to you!

x

rob has always been really good with our twins does his share of everything-not because i tell him he has to because he just wants to help? also he cant stand mess so like to help keep the house etc looking tidy

think i need to start realising how good he is!

but back to the topic-sorry hun i really dont know what to say?
what has been said since? what are you going to do?

that must have been an awful situation but i agree with some of the others i think i prob would have lost my temper with him....

rachx
16+4weeks

Oh God Hun, i wish i could give you a huge hug, i would never be able to trust him again, if i ever found Jas doing anything like that i would take all the kids and leave, i could never be sure he wouldnt do it again, there is never any excuse for anyone to shake a child no matter what...we all get stressed but to take it out on a tiny baby is just wrong!

what are you going to do hun?

if you need to chat you know where i am, give me a call if needs be and ill ring you back, just dont go through this alone, we are all here for you always, you have always been there for me and many of the other ladies too.

huge hugs and much love always
Xx

That's terrible! Although shouting isn't good it's unlikely to do any long term damage, but shaking? If he's denying it even happened it means you can't even talk it through. It puts you in an impossible situation if you can't leave them alone together.

Why can't you ask him to do some of the other stuff? Surely he can tidy the living room whilst watching TV?

((Hugs)) for you and Nicole.

i have sent you a text but i don't think you've got it have a cuddle with nicole make her bottles and get yourself to bed men are and always will be useless when it comes to looking after babies they just don;t have the patience or ability to do more than one thing or think of anyone but themselves first, have a chat with nick in the morning when you've all settled down you don;t want to argue infront of nicole big hugs and kisses to you both xxxxx

Men just dont get it with babies and kids do they. Has he ever done anything like this before that you know of? Must admit if I was you I would be a bit weary about leaving her with him with what you just saw.

My hubby is the same. He has had the last week off work and also has next week. Well, trying to get him to feed Harry or just keep an eye on him while im doing tea, putting kids to bed etc he just moans or says 'oh I was about to do so and so'. Also a perfect example was about half 9 this evening. I was busy out in the kitchen, Dylan and Max were watching King Kong and Mark was on the comp listeing to his ipod. I said to him will you keep an eye on Harry (he was whinging). So there he was at comp, listening to ipod when Harry decides to grab the wire to the headphones. What does Mark do but shout at him (he is 8 weeks this Wed) and tell him to stop cause he is hurting him. Bless, he is a grown man of 34 and Harry is nearly 8 weeks and he is hurting him. What a fu**ing wa**er. I gave him (Mark not Harry) hell and told him he pulls my hair all the bloody time and yeah it hurts a touch but I dont shout at him. Makes my blood boil sometimes.

Ive not had a lie in since I have had Harry (well come to think of it, since ive had Dylan actually-hes 7 1/2). If he said to me 'oh have a lie in, I know he would want something in return, if you catch my drift.

Hopefully you will be feeling a bit better now. Hope little Nicole is ok now, bless her.

PM anytime you want a chat.

Take care

Sarah

xx

Sarah, it he wants something in return tell him he might get it when you've had a fkn rest.

How could they even think of shouting at a poor wee baby, as for shaking, well Lisa, you have some sorting out to do there. You must be raging. None of us should ever be afraid to leave our children with their own bloody parent.

My OH been off work too, but that's cos I ran away that night and he took 2 weeks off to help and he does help with them. I've been at hospital to see John all night (appendicitis) and come back, babies are bathed and fed, he was making bobos, dishes all done, yes the washing is still out back and there was stuff in the dryer but he's not perfect (unlike me). He also looks incredibly harrassed as if he's dying to moan but daren't.

What he does that I hate is when a baby wakes in the night he goes 'oh for fx sake I'm just NEVER going to get EVEN a minutes sleep tonight' of course 2 minutes later the baby has went to sleep so has he and I'm staring into the darkness with my nerves on the outside of my skin.

I can't stand toto have hear of these lazy bstds that want to have families as long as it doesn't interfere with their important things like sleeping late, Wii etc. Don't they realise that they're just making themselves dispensible for when we've finally had enough?



Jen x