Hello everybody!!!!

I usually write in the Spanish forum, but this it's my first time here.

I am English, but I live in Spain since I was wery little, so I cannot remember living in Britain. My father is English and my mother is Soanish.

Now I'm specting a baby and I have been told that in England is prettier than here in Spain. Well, here in Spain you only have one option if you don't want or you can't pay for having a baby, so you always have it in a hospital in not a very natural way.
What they told me is that in England, although you go to hospital, you can choose the way you want to have your baby. I wouldn't like artificial oxitocine, "episotomies" (the cut they practice you), etc. Is it really like that???

Can you tell me something?? Because if this it's true, maybe I can go there to have my baby, as I'm still British, I never lost my citizen.

Thanks and good look for everyody!!!

Petra 14+1

No sé si es mejor el servicio en Inglaterra pero creo que tus temores son razonables y justificados... Soy Inglesa viviendo en España esperando mi primer hijo y hay algunas cosas que tienen que mejorar.

En las visitas mensuales nunca te invitan a hacer preguntas, sino intentan echarte cuanto antes.

Te envian al ambulatorio para hacerte analisis sin explicarte que te van a hacer, cuanto tiempo vas a estar o si tienes que ir en ayunas o no.

En una visita la doctora estaba charlando con otra señora durante toda la visita, ni siquiera me miraba cuando me hablaba. La otra señora, no sé quien era, pero me gustaria que no haya personas que no pertenecen a mi visita en la habitacion mirandome cuando estoy desnuda.

Nos aconsejaron que no engordemos mas de un kilo al mes, es poco realistico. En el octavo mes puse 3 kilos y me pusieron en regimen y perdí 4 kilos en una semana, despues me dijeron que fue peligroso y que deberia dejar la dieta.

Despues, el parto...

Acabo de enterarme de que se administra anestesia y hacen espiostomia a todas las mujeres. Voy a enterarme de mis derechos porque no quiero que me hagan esto sin que en caso necesario.

A mi no me gusta que la gente me toque, y no me va a gustar nada la parte cuando el medico mete los dedos en la vagina para ver a cuantos centimetros estoy dilatada pero entiendo que se tiene que hacer. Dijeron que es posible que vendrá algun residente tambien y meterá la mano dentro para que aprenda como se hace. ¿Es que no tienen ninguna sensibilidad para nuestros sentimientos? No somos ganado!

--

Como dije, nunca he tenido un parto en Inglaterra asi que no puedo comparar pero me faltan dias para el parto, y me siento malinformada y asustadisima. Siendo extranjera es dificil conseguir la informacion que necesito. El padre del niño es Español y por eso voy a tenerlo aqui.

Suerte con tu embarazo,

Saludos.

Hi, I am living in Germany at the moment, but am also from England and will be moving back in just over 3 weeks time. I have two children, one born in Germany and the other in England. You do have a lot of choice on how you want to have your baby in England - you cant write out a birth plan and tell the midwives exactly what you would like to happen during the birth of your baby, assuming that all goes well they usually stick to it. You could have your baby in the water, (only with gas and air)or you could go to the hospital and ask for an epidural which is a spinal injection that numbs youfrom the waist down (it seems that anything goes here as long as all goes well).


jojomarie3 10+

Can I just say how embarrased I am to read some of the brittish remarks posted in response to your letter. I am utterly disgusted given that this is a chat forum especially for expectant mums and at the end of the day the last thing any1 needs on here is a hard time. You came on her for advice and I appologise that you were treated like a scumbag!!! You are exactly right, who is going to employ somebody who is pregnant after all if i was an employer I wouldn't, and if finding a comfortable life for you and your child means moving to England then so be it!!! I'd do anything to give my child a better life! Please dont think that all English people are this stuck up their own backsides, after all it doesn't bother some when they book cheap package holidays to spain for cheap fags and beer!! Now for the advice you actually came on here for in the first place..... In England you can choose to some extent how you would like your birth to go, however in many ways we seem to be as limited as spain in terms of options. for example, you can opt to have a homebirth but this is only available if there are enough midwife's on shift to come out to your house. A water birth is also an option, however many English hospitals own a maximum of 3 or 4 pools and it is dependent upon availability whether you are able to use one as they ar on a first come first served basis. When you register your pregnancy you get an information pack and in it there is a birthing plan, its pathetic!!, an A-4 size peice of paper asking you what pain relief you would like, whether you would like an episiotomy etc. However 9 times out of 10 its a waste of time even filling you out as if necesary they will offer you the different types of pain relief dependent upon the situation and at the end of the day if the baby's health is at risk and the proffesional opinion is that an episiotomy will help, then as expected they have little regard for how you planned your perfect birth. Given that childbirth is so unpredictable I dont think it is practical to plan how it will go however i can see how the element of control is appealing to you. After all like the rest of us your an expectant mum putting your unborn baby 1st!!!I am not clued up on the costs of having a baby in spain however i would look into the advantages and disadvantes of paying to come here as your travel costs may exceed those of the healthcare costs in spain. To be honest you will probably never get this message as if I were you I would waste my time to return to a chatroom where I had been humiliated but I sincerely hope that if anything this message will make people consider what they would do in your situation before pre-judging you and tarring you with the same brush as imigrants who do come here with the intent of exploiting the system and not of giving their child the best possible start in life.

Good luck with the baby and hope this helps XxXxX

Kimberleigh

Hey ladies, who of you has a nicer angel? - www.krpcek.tk

y no pretendo buscar polemica, pero para aquellas que tanto defendeis la medicina española y que os habeis pasado un pelin con la que puso el post, leeros esta informacion porque quizas vuestra ignorancia os haga ser un poco bocazas:

http://www.elpartoesnuestro.es/index.php?option=co-m_frontpag e&Itemid=1

que quitar el guion que aparece entro co-m

if you haven't paid anything towards the NHS why should you be allowed to go and ponce on it??

desde luego que me dejas muerta!! estas dejando lo de parir en españa por los suelos!! desde luego maja, que pareces victoria Beckham que todo lo de aquí le huele a ajo.

Estoy segura que si tu bebé nace en España estará bien orgullos@!!

LA MEDICINA EN ESPAÑA NO TIENE NADA QUE ENVIDIARLE A LA DE INGLATERRA.

YO ESTOY VIVIENDO EN ENGLAND MUCHO TIEMPO Y ECHO MUCHIIIIIIIIISIMO DE MENOS LA MEDICINA, HOSPITALES Y FARMACIAS ESPAÑOLAS.

Vete a inglaterra si te sientes tan inglesa a ver lo que tardas en volverte a nuestra querida españa.

its not like that at all it is your choice in england you can choose which hospital you want your baby and you can also have it at home if you want or you can have it in a birthing pool in hospital

I am British,and I have lived almost all my life in Spain,(my mom was Spanish and my dad is English)I have lived probably more in Britain for the last few years,it is true that things are better in some ways but I think they are mainly the same.
But if you feel that you need to have your baby in England,That is another question,I honestly would if I could,but just think,that things are fairly the same than in Spain.


TAKE CARE XXXXX

Haber leido tu post. Y yo no estoy en Suiza, sino en mi pais, España, y perdona pero me parece una chorradita irte a parir a Inglaterra por los motivos que expones. Por supuesto que en la seguridad social puedes solicitar otro hospital, y que quieres que te diga, tambien existe en España el parto natural. ¿Pero donde te crees que vives hija?, y sobre la oxitocina, si la necesitas te la tendras que poner y si te tienen que hacer la episotomia, ¿No sera mejor que te la pongan a que te desgarres por dentro?. Que te quede claro que si hay algun problema lo mejor, y repito "lo mejor" son los hospitales publicos. Y hay mas de una opcion. No solo hay una, enterate bien antes de opinar sobre el parto en España, y sobre todo en un foro de personas que no tienen ni idea de como funciona la maternidad en España, porque conocen lo de su pais, logicamente. Y tu puedes llevar tu plan de parto. Sinceramente, deberias elegir, no se, Inglaterra, Swazilandia, Guinea-Bissao, tu misma hija. Y no tienes ni p**** idea de lo que estas diciendo guapa. Asi que, si. mejor vete a Inglaterra a parir, que gente diciendo tonterias como tu sobran en España.

Cada cual que haga lo que quiera,yo soy britanica y madre era española y he vivido mucho en los dos paises,me parece que cada cual tiene derecho a hacer lo que quiera sin ofender,es cierto que todo es mas o menos parecido pero quiza se trate de otros sentmientos,ella solo ha preguntado y no em parece que debas hablar asi,respeto es lo fundamental...

Un saludo

You have posted this message quite a while back and I guess that after some of the answers you might not want to come back. But if so, have you made up your mind? Do you really have to go to the closest hospital in Spain to give birth? Well I guess if you have a private health insurance you dont, but it would cost quite a bit.

I'm French and I have a 21 months Tommy. Of course I gave birth in my country. And I do think French people have a excellent health service. My husband is English from Sunderland (North East). We have friends who have given birht in the only hospital in Sunderland. I couldnt believe that only after a day, you are sent home if you or the child are in good health. Over here, it is a minimum of 4 days but it might be more, depending on the hospital. First the baby need to put back on weight. I did find it very hard to stay at the clinic for 6 days but at the same time it was good to have some "rest" and people around for advice (although no one ever agreed on any subject!!!).

Anyway... my husband and I intend to move to Spain next summer to actually live there. We have spoken about having another baby. I spoke to Spanish mums to understand what it was like for maternity and stuff.

You know I was like you at first, I said I didnt want epidural and all that artificial stuff for the birth.... but I had everthing! epidural (3 injections), epysiotomy, octocyne...Let just say that the mid wife (who had been doing this job for over 30 years) told me that she had never witnessed such a birth and moody uterus... but who cares... Neither Tommy or me suffered and he is such a wonderful child!!!

Give us some news if you are still around

Karina

I understand you because if I would expect a baby, I would prefer to have it in my country (France).
Specially that England is the country of your father, and maybe for others incouscious reasons, you feel the need to come back in his country.
I think it's possible if you use the E111, it's a special paper that allows you to be hospitalised in any EU country.
I've heard about people in need of hospitalisation who came from England in France or Belgium, so what not in the other sense ?
It is your right to choose the way you want to give birth, but make sure that it will be like that in England.
The only bad side is how and where will you live when you will go out from the hospital with your baby ? Accomodation is very expensive.
I hope you understand me because I know I do many grammar mistakes.

You can't just turn up in a foreign country to have a baby! you need to be in one place for the whole of your pregnancy to get the best care.
You say that you are coming to England and will find a job and won't be living off benefits. But I don't think you realise how hard this is going to be, even if you do get benefits while looking for a job, which is unlikely because you need to have been living here for a certain length of time before, to prevent exactly this type of situation where peole think they can just turn up and live off the state for free, they don't come to much.
I think it's a bit selfish to think about starting your baby's life like this. if you're not happy with a certain hospital, then research others.

As a Spanish citicen I need to inform you that my area doesn't have the best health care due to all the English expats who go to the health care clinics and hospitals to have their blood pressure taken for free, or to get free prescriptions more often than they need them (before the authorities find out those people aren't entitled to free medication in Spain), or , for instance, hospital beds taken by diabetic seventy year olds who can't stay away from their gin and tonic.
And you dare tell a british citicen that she can't go to her own country to have her baby???? I AM MISSING SOMETHING!!

She said she has been brought up in Spain, you can't really call it her own country!

I really want to thank you your answers. I think I didn't explain my plans very well last day. I'm only 14 weeks now, so I still have time. I only wanted to know how is having a baby there and what are the differences and see which ones are better for me, Spain or England. Here in Spain if you don't want to pay anything (and I can't pay for having a baby because I lost my job when I told it and also because although I kept my job, I could not pay something so expensive) you have to go to a hospital. And I dont like the hospital i have to go because I know how the stuff works. Last summer I had problems and I had to go there and I was living here only for a couple of weeks. They could not solve my problems although I visited the emergency room four times. Finally I have to sign a form in which I said that I wanted a treatment and not an operation, because they wanted to operate me and I couldn't have had babies anymore. And here I am now, expecting a baby with total normally.
I was told by people living there that in England there are several options, having a baby like here in Spain or in a more natural way, and that it was free. England is not a forgotten country for me, although I told that I couldnt remember living there, a great part of my family is still there and I visit them as often as I can, so it couldn't be so different.
I know that I can't fly from the seventh month, but I'm going there in September on holiday, and as I have no job, maybe I could stay there. Think that it would be similar here in Spain, because I have no family where I live, all my family live in other places of the country, so....

Well, anyway, thanks for your help.

I can't be of help to you as to what is different in England, as I am in the USA, but maybe you should have your baby in England if only to have your family near by?

You havent got family in spain, there are living somewhere else.
You havent got a job but you are pregnant.
You want to come on holiday (how can you think about taking holiday without thinking looking for a job instead ??) in London and want to stay here.

Do you plan to live on the benefit the country can give you?

I dont know you but you sound young and that can be the reason why you want to come here to have your baby, cause a teenager having a baby is more accepted here than in the other country.

If you dont like hospital, where do you think you will go here? In a private one ? you have to pay for that. Hospital are free of charge and they provide a good services, as they might do in Spain.