Fanks for that .. So i start college in september, an if i keep it it will be due around december im guessin? soo wud i be able to go college? And thenh av liek maternity leave..then go back?? xxx

Hi, im 16 and pregnant i dont no how far gone i am, but im guessin around about 6-8 weeks.. i av my scan in 3 days time at the termination clinic to see how far gone i am, and to see what i want to do, but ive known for about 2 weeks now, and i still havent come to terms with what i want and how i feel, i still feel like it isnt real, if u no what i mean????? ... Im so confused.. I been with the dad 7months , and he is also only 16, We are still very young, and he is no where near mature anouth yet. Not sayin i am, but mothers mature thrpoough out teh pregnancy, they learn how to cope with it dont they ?? I havent got no one to talk to only my friends and him, But every time i chat about it to him e wants to no what im doing with the baby, but wat he dosnt understand is that it isnt easy for me to decide bcus whatever i chose im stuck with it for life.. liek if i decide to keep it, Im in with the baby 24/7 i av to look after it etc.. and if i get rid of it.. im stuck with the pain of gettin rid of a child that i mite never be able to have again. and i no i would wonder what it would look like .what it wud b doin now etc... Its the hardest decison of my life1 its life changin isnt it?? .. Every time i try and hint out to my mum.. She always gos u wil b str8 up the doctors and get rid of it..and she gets rele mad about it wen i chat about the WHAT IF I WAS...so i cant imagine wot she wud b like if i sed i was an she also says u wud prove every 1 rite then wont u , what wil ppl fink? But i dnt get y she cares wot ppl would think ? I wouldnt? Every 1 haves sex rite? :S i rele cant talk 2 her.. My dad Use to say he wud kill me, but nt long ago i askd him wot e wud rele do..and he sed e wunt b appy , but he wud stil love me and that etc.. But im not sure if e rele would .. My cuson ad a baby at 15..well 16 when she had him, and shes coped really well.
I still am in skool, I dont finish til a few months.. And by the time the baby is due il be 17 ..18 in like 9 months, if ive timed it rite.. an that dont sound that bad rele do it? but its the fact im 16 now still in school sounds rele bad I can go to college after couldnt i? Even durin my pregnancy ? I no some one who did..So could i??? My mum says ul av nuffink if i ever did get pregnant il have no career..but i think liek i can get 1 once Im Really Messed Up and confused.. i just want to close my eyes and fall asleep and never wake up then none of this would be happenin!! I really am alone on this 1,, What should i doo!! wb plz x x x

well i totally see in a way what ur goin tru my couzin is 22 she is pregnant to this guy, i no u might think wow she 22 she already older its ok well its not she told her mom when she was 5 months and now all my aunt are tellin her how inriponsible she was but i told her look dont give a f*** wha other ppl think and just live life and dont let other ppl live it for u!!but it still hurt evn if u dont care all i want to tell u is that an abortion is something that is goin to scar u for the rest of ur life and if it was me i woulnd do it well i really hope this helpd alot xoxolia

hi there im stacey i had just turned 16 when i found out i was pregnant, i was so scared and confused but i decided to keep it i had a healthy little girl (well not so little now)she is 7 next month i had my second at 18 and i also have a 21 month old got 1 on the way too but i managed really well i never had any support from my mum as she didnt agree with the bloke i was with who is daddy to all of mine so i decided to prove her wrong and show how well i could manage and i did prove her wrong that was such a great feeling we are now fine by the way. now i bet your thinking 3 kids bet she never goes out well i do i sorted a babysitter out for once a fortnight and on that night i was not a mum i was just me again it felt good but i still missed the kids so what i am trying to say is that it is always hard to start with but women tend to manage. have a nice long chat to your mum thats the best thing im sure she will stand by you whatever u decide remember its what u want no-one else take care

I can understand how scared you must be. Especially at 16. I was 25 when I found out I was pregnant and I had only been with my boyfriend (now fiance) for about 4-5 months. I was terrified.

I can't really tell you what you should do, because in the end, the decision is ultimately yours. Your boyfriend and your parents can try and influence you, but you have to live with the decision for the rest of your life. Its really scary I know.

What I can tell you is that, even though I was scared, I found the courage to tell my mom (I was afraid of what my dad would say/think of me). She said she had a feeling, but she wasn't upset. It seems to me that you may have an easier time talking to your dad. So maybe try telling him and he can be there to help you tell your mom. Your parents will always love you. They may not be thrilled that you're pregnant, but having them help you through this will be truly valuable. If you can't talk to your parents, maybe another family member, or a counsellor. There may even be someone to help you tell your parents.

I personally don't think I could ever get an abortion, unless there were medical reasons to have it done. But I've also never been in the situation you are in. I do know that the day my daughter was born was the happiest day of my life. She just turned a year old.

I think you're right in that you shouldn't care what other people think of you being pregnant. Some people will look down on you. Many of those people are closed-minded. Generations ago it was nothing for younger women to be pregnant. Opinions have changed as society changes.

But you do need someone close to you for support. My advice is to think as calmly and as rationally as possible (I know it might be hard), before you make your decision. In the end, it has to be whats best for you.

And yes, you can finish school and go to college/university. All because you have kids doesn't mean you can't accomplish your goals, it just becomes a little harder. For instance, I'm taking an online course so I'll be able to work from home and raise my daughter.

I really hope some of what I said can help you. Take care and good luck.

i just want to say i feel like im reading my own life story....everything you say is everything i feel. no matter what you decide people will deal with and get used to the situation it will all work out.
so long as you are not pressured into anything and make up your mind.
it will all fall into place!
good luck x

honestly honey you need to tell your mum. I know she will be angry with you at first, but you can't help it, she will see it maybe as a little of a loss of her little girl.
Remember this though, the choice of whether or not you keep the baby is totally up to you. Your mum can't MAKE you dispite what she says, it isn't your boyfriends decision, it is totally up to you. It is your body and NO ONE but you can decide what to do with it. Anyone that tries to tell you otherwise is a person that will later get theirs.
You have the option of being a mum yourself and see how wonderful it is to watch something come out of you and grow. You also could choose to resume your old life and comtinue to grow yourself. Either way everything will work out alright. I am not a fan of abortions, but sometimes they are necessary.
You can talk with everyone and their brother about what needs to be done but the choice is ultimately yours.

Hi Honey,
I can understand your predicament, I went through a similar situation years ago and felt so alone, I really went into my shell and was so afraid of upsetting anyone or disappointing them that I had a termination on my own. My MUm found out a year or so later as I had left a receipt or something in my bedroom which she found, she was devastated and so angry at me but mainly because she always thought we had such a strong relationship and was really hurt that I'd had to go through it on my own. I now know with hindsight that my Mum would have been there for me no matter what decision I came to and maybe having my MUm's support at the time would have enabled me to be stronger and maybe choose a different way forward. Your Mum may be angry at first but only because she has your best interests at heart and because she'll hate seeing you in turmoil. Good luck with whatever decision you make xxxx

hi sweetheart,
you obviously have thought very hard about either side of your decision. and as you say it is life changing whatever.
i have views from both sides. i had a termination at 16, and now at 27, i have 3 kids.
i had the termination mostly because of my parents. they put so much preassure on me, that i felt i never had a say in the matter. i now know that it was my choice, and that i should have had the say. i may have struggled, but i am sure it would have worked out ok in the end.
your mums reaction is normal for any mum. but you know her best. will she be there for you when she hears the news, after the shock? i am sure you are worried, but you must tell her. only then will you really know, and get support. yes,she will be upset, and dissapointed, but that dosen't mean that she will be that way forever. don't do anything until you have given her a chance.
i wish i had had a chance for my mum to have supported me more.
good luck in whatever you decide.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Fanks for that .. I no i rele do think the main thing about me not keepin it is tellin my parents.. i think once iv told them , i will be able to decide, I dont rele fink i cud av abortion, i dnt fink i am strong anuff 2 go threw with that, its just me i guess, Loads a ppl r difrent! .. but i am stubborn, i wudnt b todl wot 2 do, well i spose they will tel me wot 2 do, but i wont listen, and if they sed they didnt want nuffink 2 do wid me if i decided 2 keep it, then thats sumfink i got to chance init? .. Its them who will be the bad 1s..turnin therr back on derr daughter when she needs u the most!And if tehy say uve ruined ur life, and that i fink like, well so thats my fult isnt it? iv got to deal with it, Also i went to this counsilin thing 2 day, my bf cum, an he looked round and sed to the woman, e myte bottle it an av nuffink 2 do with it in the end? i was pretty shocked i dint fink e wud say thta, but he did and if thats wat happens ( if i do keep it) then thats what happens isnt it, I gotta learn to cope with that , and im sure il manage. Well i betta stop writin cuz il go on 4ever lol Thankz n e way xxxxxxx

i am sorry you are in this situation, but only you can decide what to do unfortunatly. i know how you feel as i had a termination at 16 and another at 20 (silly to get caught twice?) the 1st time i had been with my boyfriend 2 years, but we were young and had our whole life in front of us, the 2nd time, i was with a different partner but he lived in london and i was in leeds, so we couldnt bring a child into the world on either of those occasions. at 1st i thought about what might have been, what it would have looked like,.... but that soon goes, it did with me. you are still in early stages of pregnancy, so it isnt a proper baby yet anyway, you must have seen other websites to see how much its formed!!! im 28 now, and 4 wks pregnant, my partner (of 4 yrs) and i really looking forward to our 1st child. let me know how you get on, remember its YOUR life, YOUR choice!! xxx

Thank U Im Just Really Confused, There are alot of yung mums these days, And alot of them do do well, But Im really confused at the mo.. I really dont no what to do, And im gettin rele depressed Where I feel And think i look rele fat already lol ! Its probably all in my mind! lol... But If i spoek 2 my parents and they were ok i Think I would keep it .. But theres so many bad points aswell, I fink its just them goin mad..puttin me down .. Cuz im rele scared of wat they willdo..say..etc x x x

im a young(ish) mum to be myself - 22 - its really hard to decide what to do, and the worst bit really was telling my mum (and the dad). but she really surprised me, i thought she'd go mental - i think all daughters think there mums will, its quite scary for them to think they can't protect you anymore, that your a person separate to them etc. is there really no one you can get advice from? it must be very lonely to have all those worries and really no one to turn to...im studying too to get my law degree, so you really can get by with studying at college - the tutors are very supportive of young mums, you've got to have strength though and be ready to be independent if necessary, and it does change you - you definitely get more confident if you do go ahead with it, suddenly its not about you, its about this little thing that will totally depend on you, so thats why you need that support network - friends, family. as for the abortion - its your decision, and that makes it even scarier because how will you feel afterwards? you have to feel comfortable with the idea because once you do it, its done. hard, isn ... whatever happens no one will think any the less of you, its fear that drives them to think badly, fear that they couldn't cope or continue with their lives if they were you. pregnancy is completely natural and happens all over the world, whatever you decide it will be the right decision for you and thats what you have to think as the bottom line of the matter. good luck m'dear and let us know what happens!

Fanks for that .. So i start college in september, an if i keep it it will be due around december im guessin? soo wud i be able to go college? And thenh av liek maternity leave..then go back?? xxx

im a young mum i had my first child at 18, and i told my parents straight away and they we're very supportive im now 19 n have my second on the way! ima sure that once you have told you mum she will b right behind you and even if she isnt now theres a whole nine months for her to get use to the idea! no1 can perdict the furture so your mum wont now how to feel until you have told ere! have you got any one in your family or a friend you can talk to! and with abortion its sumtink dat u will tink bout for the rest of your life will u b strong enough to go through with it! only you can decisided what is best for you sweetie, no one can force you to do anytink its your body n your baby! just tink long and hard about it and im sure you will do wots best for yourself! good luck hun hope everytink turns out ok! xxx

should be okay if you start in september (though you'll have to apply by august for courses starting then) and give birth december - will be tough though! should be eligible for maternity allowance and income support and as you're under 19 should also get your course fees paid, so you got a lot of help out there if thats what you want. it ain't all bad if you willing to give it a go, and plus if you research stuff like benefits and course funding when you tell your mum it'll show that you've thought hard and that you're willing to go that little bit extra. if you want more details on benefits and courses put another post here and il try and help you as much as possible.

good luck, susie