When my 2nd son was 1 yr old he was admitted to hospital with pneumonia and was really ill. At that time I went alittle mad and said "No more children". My husband stood by my wish and not long after had a vasectomy. Live has changed so much in the past 2 years since and we regret it hugely. I have read loads of articles about people in past relationships and with children from previous marriages having a reversal but not any who are still in the same relationship and just want more children. My hubby went to the docs to ask about the reversal and was told it would cost us. At the time I was not of stable mind and never even seen by a doctor regards to this only my hubby. Does any one know where I may stand or if this is a common situation to be in?

My husband also had a vasectomy 5 years ago, mainly because we have 4 children already and my last 2 pregnancies were problematic and I was on crutches throughout, so he decided that enough was enough and I kind of agreed almost immediately after my last son was born, to him have the vasectomy and he went straight out and had it done.

Since I have been breaking my heart over the prospect of never having another baby... I know people will think "well isn't 4 enough for anyone", but I just love being a mum so much, it has been my life for the last 13 years and I feel lost now my children are all at school. I know I could go out and get a job, but there aren't many that fit into the life of a mum to four children, with illnesses or school holidays etc... mum's know what I mean!! But my hubby has a good job and we live well on what he earns, so it isn't urgent for me to work. I just have this deep longing to have another baby and I feel grieved that we were also not offered councelling before my husband did the deed.

I have since done some reading up and most places advice that councelling is should be offered before any action is taken to be sterilised, to avoid this problem that you and I have felt. It might be worth seeking legal advice on this issue.

Currently I am praying that my hubby's vasectomy failed, as I have missed 2 periods and am having pregnancy symptoms... but I am also worried it might just be a phantom pregnancy because I did have a negative test (but I've had them before and been pregnant) and I know how I've been feeling about wanting another child and hope I'm not just imagining it up.

It is a deep heartbreaking feeling, I know!

Take heart in the fact that my auntie's partner had a vasectomy reversal and they were successful in having a child together. He had a vasectomy after a previous marriage, which failed... he then wanted a child with my auntie when they married.

Discuss it seriously with your partner and tell him how deeply you feel and seek councelling now. You may still want to go ahead with a reversal... I believe they cost about £2,000, but if you so deeply want another child together, it might be worth every penny to try!

I hope you find a way to resolve your pain that brings you happiness again.

Wishing you all the best,

With love Claire.