Polycystic ovarian syndrome

I don't really know why i'm writng this. Just having a really down day, and to top it off one of my oldest friends just called me and cheerfully told me she's pregnant.
How many times am I expected to pretend that im pleased for yet ANOTHER person who's pregnant? I've tried and tried and tried to fall, and nothing happens.
My friend is overweight, smokes like its going out of fashion, and doesnt have a job. Where's the justice in that? How comes she can fall pregnant with out even trying and here i am taking fertility drugs, daily looking for tips on how to concieve faster, taking folic acid, not smoking, I lose 2 1/2 stone in weight, and my calendar looks like its been scribbled all over from all the charts and plans ive been writing on it.
THIS IS SO unfair.............
I cant help sounding like im jelous. I am, im so jelous and now I can't stop crying.
This is awful.
I just wanted someone to read my feelings. Sorry this is depressing for you all.

I know exactly how you feel!

every time another mate gets pregnant i have to grit my teeth and smile. when really i want to scream WHY??????????P*** OFF!!

Then i go home and cry and ask myself how im still going to be my friends mate without been bitter and jealous, but i manage it because i have to because their my mates and i love them.

it does have a big impact on my friendship because i think they feel strange around me too, its horrid! im there with you girl!

xxxx

Finding out if i have pcos on my 20th bday

well, i went to my GP because i have a major problem with my periods, and she said it sounds like i may have PCOS.
my periods stopped when i was 15 and ever since i have been lucky if i get one a year. i've read up about the symptoms of pcos and fall under a lot of them, i do have weight issues, wierd hair gain on my abdomen, terrible mood swings and ofc as i have mentioned irregular periods. so my GP sent me to have blood tests, and i have to return and find out on my 20th bday if i have pcos or not. all i am looking for is someone who has pcos to talk to me and tell me what they went through when they found out, how they are copeing/living with it, and ofc the treatment. one of my biggest fears is never being able to have children, i feel awful as it is just thinking about it and feel less of a woman if it happens. i know it sounds stupid and like i'm over-reacting before i even find out but having someone to shed the light would be a great help and will help me understand the condition on a personal note. and if anyone has some dietry advice that is effective and safe that would be great too, or some advice on conceiving when u have pcos i would be very greatful.

thank you to anyone that takes time to read my post or reply, i am greatful.
xox

Sympathetic

Hey LadyG110,
I can really sympathize with you, I can. I've got PCO and am trying to lose weight as I have been trying for a baby for 2 years now and it;s beginning to get me down too. It seems like all of my friends are expecting and I'm jealous too. A work mate was moaning that she was pregnant as it would stop her from going out drinking!! I nearly hit her!! But instead I calmly told her I'm not the best person to moan too as I would quite happily never drink again if it meant I could have a baby. Another friend of mine is more overweight than me and was given hormone treatment and now has 3 kids and has been told she is over fertile yet my docs won't give me treatment until I've lost 4 stone! I'm 25 so time is on my side but why should I have to wait?!
So you could say I know how you feel, all we can do is try to keep smiling and do whatever we can to have our own bundle of joy

Chat room

hey ladies i have made a privae chat room on this website for women with pcos the room is called pcos and the password is pcos so if ever any of you are interested in talking to each other then feel free to go to the private chat room to talk about your hearts desires without any body else getting involved. i hope you all make the most of it as from this site i see that alot of you need to talk as do. i'll see you there hopefully

hi, my name is Bridgitte and i get where you are coming from completely. I have been trying to find websites that i can find people to actually talk to about how i'm feeling rather than just venting. I have found a few but no-body ever seems to be on them so if anybody wants to actually have a conversation then please contact me. I am on msn.
bridgitteharris@hotmail.com

Hi all, i am new to this site

I know how you feel. I am from New Zealand. My Husband & I have been together for nearly 10 years. I call the PCOS my contraception, free & completely natural.

But on a serious note, at times I have no periods & they stay away for months on end. Then spontaneously & out of the blue, I get a flood period Sometimes I am in tears. I can do nothing, but sit very still, on a chair & wait for pills, they have given me to start to work.
After a while my body seems to build an immunity to the pills they prescribe & they have to look at something else.

My Mother had a major stroke at quite a young age, so they have to be careful, what pills they do give me. But, the last time they had to look at something else, they said I needed to be careful, as there was a slight chance of stroke.
We have been taking Clomid for about the last 2yr now. So far no pregnancy at all The specialist said IUI Treatment could have been an option for us, but, when they did a series of internal scans, they told me that my follicles were to small. We will look at IVF in the New Year

Back in February of this year, we started fostering children
.
For the last 2 months, we have 2 little Kids staying with us, aged 2 & 4 years & why some woman can get pregnant, I will never know. Their speech is delayed & they have had limited life experiences, healthy food was new to them, as well as manners, books, nice clothes & toys. At some point, the little boy has been picked up & thrown against a wall. Both the Kids have witnessed their Mother being beaten.
When the Kids first arrived, the little Girl saw an advert that Ghost Whisperer was going to be TV that evening. She asked if she could watch it & I said, "No & that the programme was for grown ups only." She then told me that she is allowed to watch TV with her Mum & Dad & why could she not watch it this time?

It upsets me alot, that these children will return to their Family Group one day. But at the moment, we can be positive roll models in their lives right now.
We will see where the fostering takes us. Sometimes there are Babies/Young Children that come up for permanent fostering. The younger the child the better, as it is an easier adjustment for the child.
Maybe fostering is not for everybody, but I am really enjoying being a 'Mother.' Sometimes the Children call me 'Mummy' & when this happens, I get this warm fuzzy feeling all over.

Diagnosed today

Hi
I went for an ultrascan today after trying for a baby for the last 18months and was told that i have polycystic ovaries but to wait until the final test results came through to my GP next week. I am devastated to say the least and feel like such a failure. I too am fed up when friends keep announcing their pregnancies when they have not been trying half as long as we have. I am scared that i will never have a baby and am at a loss to know what to do next. It is occupying all my waking thoughts and some of my sleeping ones as well. We are also waiting for my husbands sperm test results to come back too as he has also been tested and am scared about this too.
Just really needed to get that off my chest cus although i have my husband who is fantastic and friends who either have kids or have no idea how i am feeling i just cant seem to cheer up about my situation.

Hi

hi,
i was diagnosed with pcos when i was 18 although the docs suspected i had it since i was 16 which is when i went to the docs to get my periods regulated. i went for tests sagain last year to check to see if there was any change in my pcos and there was but not much. i have been with my boyfriend now for almost 7 years and we have been trying for a baby for 3 years. i have not taken anything to help the process as i do have a belief that it will happen. However that doesn't make it easier to deal with. It is always on my mind how useless i am and when i hear my friends are having babies it doesn't help at all i feel so ashamed sometimes of the thoughts i have towards people close to me that are pregnant but i know deep down i am happy for them. my boyfriend had tests doen aswell and he came back fine which doesn't help the fact of me feeling even more useless. since i started having my periods i would have around 2 a year but 2 years ago i learnt Reiki and have since been having periods every 2 months although i still have not been pregnant. My bf is very supportive but saying that he also wants his own child and although i do believe that i will concieve i still have many days when i doubt i can give him what he wants. I am now 33 and although i still have years left of trying i pray that it won't take years. I have spent days and nights crying about this and i realise that that will never help what i want. so i have decided that i am going to try my hardest to just enjoy being with my bf rather than worrying about the child we don't have i am going to focus on what we do have and that is each other. stress is one of the key factors in not conceiving and the more stress you put on yourself the less likely it is to conceive. please take a breath i know 18 months seems like i long time but i know quite a few ppl who have been trying for more than 5 years and have gotten pregnant. don't put so much pressure on yourself try to start focusing on something else. i know that this is really hard to do but truely it just won't happen while your so worked up about it.

Ladyg110..............i completely understand

ladyg110..............I completely understand where you are coming from. I sadly know people who use abortion instead of using contraception. It makes me sick how some people can abuse the fact that they are able to have kids naturally. I have been on tablets for a year now and did fall pregnant but I unfortunately miscarried. Now I feel as if I will never have kids. I am in a stable relationship, living in a house with my partner, have a well paid job, dont smoke and dont drink. So why do I have to suffer with this PCOS.
Life seems so unfair. When I was reading your statement, I could agree and relate to everything you were saying. Women in my office seem to be falling pregnant and bringing their kids in. I get tempted to walk out of the office.
Dont get too down, there is help out there and I wish you luck in the future.

Hello there . i had to join your group ..

I just feel so bad to hear you all feeling so sad . i want to you know i understand to appoint .. i have had a hsyterectomy ..and my husband to be and myself want a chid so bad .. but i think a little good has come out of my situation ..and i would like to share it with you .. in hopes i might help at least one

I post an add for a surrogate .. the reply i got came from a Woman in the states (im in Canada) witch put me out of reach to help ..but any way . her motivation for wanting to be a surro .. is her doctor told her if she could accive a pregnacy it could help releve you PCOS and any subsiqunt pregnacey would come easier and that her chances of carrying where higher if she did Surrogacy because the egg would not be hers .. now i do understand that carrying a child for someone els may be the toughest thing in the world when you want your own so bad ... but for those few who belive they could .. Your Intended Parents and your Self would be doing something for each other .. what better way to fix two couples dreams of children .. pls understand this is not an add to locate a surro for myself .. only to give you an opption you may not have thought about .. but of course only your doctor can tell you if it might be for you .. i realy hope i can help at least one of you here .. i feel for you .. i realy do . you will all be in my paryers...
Thank you
A Hopefull intended mommy

There is hope

Hi there,

my names Chris and I'm 38. I really understand what you are going through. I have a very very large family, 7 brothers & sisters all with kids who also have kids and now their kids are having kids. You want to be happy for them, but as time goes on it gets harder to do it. I have had to hear it for the last 18 years that I have been trying to get pregnant and it does start to annoy and upset you.
I had given up then the lady who does my leg waxing recommended reflexology to regulate my periods, and it worked. Since starting it about 6 months ago I haven't missed a period until last month and I only did a test because she won't risk doing it unless she knows your not pregnant.
Last week I was told that I am 6 weeks pregnant and I was so shocked after all these years of trying I wasn't sure what to feel. Then on Friday I started bleeding I was sent for a early pregnancy scan and was told everything looks fine and we got to see the heartbeat. However I am still bleeding and scared to death now that after all these years its all going to go wrong.
I'm not telling you this to upset you more, but to let you know there is hope and there are other people who feel the same way as you.

Update

Since I posted this message I have lost my baby. But at least i now that it is possible after 18 years of trying to get pregnant and we will be trying again asap.
Chris

I totally understand where you are coming from...

My partner un expectidly became pregnant 7 years ago after miscarrage at 24 weeks she was diagnosed with PCOS that was 2001 since then we have tried and tried whilst family and friends where spitting children out and yes even those who should never be allowed children.

It is totally disheartening and trying to hide your feelings whilst trying not to upset anyone is hard very hard

In the last 7 years there have been 11 babies born in our family whilst for us there was nothing except tests and medication.

All I can say is never give up trying my girl friend was told she had sever PCOS and after I was tested I was told 98% sperm mortality and of the remaining live 2% only 5% of them where mobile enough.

Last friday after 7 years of trying we found out she is pregnant. I know you dont really want to here that but it just demonstrates that dispite what doctors say just keep trying we where resigned to not having a baby but beat all the odds,

Keep trying

I feel the same

like alot of forums im reading, it seems everybody but me is pregnant.
Iv known since i was 16 that i would have trouble concieving, but at 16 it wasnt something i was thinking about. I always knew deep down it was something i deeply craved, but wanted to wait until i was with the right person.

Im now with that man, my best friend announced in january she was pregnant, and although im pleased as punch for her -it took me 6months to see her because i was trying to hide my own pain at nothing happening.

i have had unprotected sex constantly with my ex partner and my current partner for 4 years and never fell pregnant - i have now consulted a doctor and once my next period arrives im having blood tests on day 19 after my period to see if im ovulating, so im not feeling so bad about things at the moment, im hoping in the next year my time will come - seek all the help you can, be referred to an infertility clinic, dont suffer in silence.

keep your chin up! xx

God, i know the feeling

every time i have been told this year yet another of my friends/family are expecting i cry (alot), even though very happy for them, i have the same feelings as you. I have been with my partner for 7 years and had no joy, have kind of given up now. Whats frustrating is that people with no problems just dont seem to get how hard it is, has made me feel not womenly, if that makes since. Ive never writen into one of these sites before, but now i think its good to, because you're talking to women that understand and it is hard, harder then most people imagine. I was told i have POCS when i was 20, even though i expected it, it still felt very unfair, but then i realised how many women are in the same position. The crying thing is hard, my partner rang me in work about 3 months ago to say a close family member was pregnant, i was uncontrolable, but luckily the girls in work understood how hard it had been. I hope things work out for you and its not depressing to listen at all, its just makes you realise how many of us there are. I know its hard to be strong, you have to let it out sometimes.

I know exactly how you are feeling

when i was 16 i realised i never had a period and got a tad bit worried, i visited my local gp to have some check ups. I was then sent to a private hospital for tests and scans they said i was fine, i was due to start them in a month or so. I waited 6months went back and demanded to have the tests done else where so i did. then the tests came back as i had pcos. They sent me a letter stated this 2 days after new years, the year before last and i was only worth 2 lines. I was devastated that i went through a stage of crying and not knowing then to be told im fine, then go back through it all again, it was unnessecary. I love kids and always will do i've always wanted one of my own but it doesnt seem to be an option. i try speaking to my family and my mum they tell me im stupid, deal with it. I've been through alot in my life e.g. my mums bf was violent towards her for 12 years and had alot of house raids, me and my other brothers where kicked out of our homes and mum was always leaving my elder brother to look after us and she'd disappear for a week at a time. I was depressed enough as it was but when i was told that i had pcos i broke down and had no one. It still scares me to this day that i wont be able to give my boy friend a child and make him a dad as he is 30 now. and i so want to be a mum, and it annoys me that my friends who dont deserve them and trat them like crap can have them. And people who dont want them and get rid of them waist the chance of being a mother where as i dont have that option. I buy pregancy tests all the time and fill myself with hope then it comes back negative and im miserable again. The only thing that keeps me sain is my nephews because the feel like the nearest thing to a kid ill ever get. I know ill be a good mum, i took care of my nephews for 4months when their mum didnt want them and my brother had to own up to his responsabilties. I'm 18 yrs of age and that may seem to young to worry about it, but i am and i want children and my doctor seems to keep pushing the issue aside and not even bothering with me. I get emotional every time a see a new born baby, or a kid saying mummy because i wish it was me. I have no one to talk to because no one knows what im going through my mum had 7 children and carnt relate and my dad says good i dont want you to have one any way. ive had unprotected sex for nearly a year in hope id get prgnant and i havn't. the pain of it all is getting me further and further down in the dumps and i carnt handle it.
thank you for reading, i better stop or ill be crying all day
thanku

Tell me about it

It's not depressing at all i fill the same cry all the time my best mate is preggo keeps talking about abortion and now decides to keep it she chane smokes still drinks a bit and other stuff falls prego like nothing i take fertilty drugs i have pcos and i cry all the time when is it my time i love her to bits but im soooooooooo jealouse

Polycystic ovary syndrom

im only 15 years old and i werent getin my periods so me mum took me to the doctors and i had all the test done n had u/s and it was finaly said that i had pcos. when i found out i was nearly cryin. i didnt no what it meant till all i heared was that it could mean i cant have kids. that day it felt like a part of me died. i have always wanted to be a mum and now i feel as thought that dream will never happen. i now say i dont want kids just because i think its to much pain in the long run. as i have been readin for so long about pcos. i could try n never fall n i always have a higher risk of m/c. so now i jus cry myself to sleep as itthe only way i can say how i really feel. no one understands as no one i know has pcos. i try and be strong for my mum and everyone thinks im handerling it really well. but thats coz i dont really tell them wat im thinkin. i just show what im feelin to myself in my room at night.

You are not alone - i have these feelings to

Hi ladyg110,
As I was reading your email alot of the feelings you say you are feeling I have too.
I have found out in the past two weeks that my sister-in-law is expecting her second child, my lodger has now announced she's pregnant and the latest my 23 year old niece (who doesn't even have a steady boyfriend) is also pregnant.
Needless to say the last two weeks have been s**t!!
I have now told my lodger she needs to move out and have told my husband that I cannot see his family anymore as they will relish in the idea of 'rubbing my nose in it' about my sister-in-laws pregnancy.
I have such horrible, strong, negative feelings towards people when I find out that they are pregnant. I have friends who in the past have told me that they are pregnant and my way of dealing with that is to stop seeing them and thats what I do. (Technical this is wrong and I'm not in anyway suggesting thats what you should do and I know this isn't a healthy approach to the problem but I have to do whats right for me)
I'm feeling so depressed now that the idea of trying to lose weight is beyond me.
I'm back on Antidepressants which I came off of in January and just don't feel that I'll ever be happy.
Draw strength from the fact that your not alone in your feelings and thoughts and
that even if people around you don't seem to understand we do.
Take care and keep in touch.
Pippi

Pos

ahh, hi i just had to join this site as i needed to reply to your note. I was searching for how to concieve a girl ????? ended up reading ur post and neded to say there is hope out there............

I too have pcos and tryed for ages to get pregnant, I had a miscarridge just before i was suppose to start fertility treatment and with all the stress i decided it was effecting our health so to give it all a rest from the appointments and talking and medication....... e.c.t....e.c.t.
few months down the road i was pregnant, no fertility treatment or drs or anything. then 4 yrs later thinking it would take yrs for no 2 we prepared ourselfs for a long wait but in a few months preg with no2 !!
I know its the worst thing to say when its all you want but i truely believe it only happened to us when we stopped trying......i know ur thinking what the hell do i know i got my babys, but its the anger and rage and jelousy and desperation that makes us anxious and depressed and sad and crying.im readig your feelings and i just want you to feel hope and peace and happiness, it will happen........u have prob read it but just in case u havent. pcos and ur fertility by colette harris and theresa cheung, great book. ur very welcome to borrow mine, no probs will send with sum reiki if u like ? its a guide to self care , emotional wellbeing and medical support.
i felt so alone when i was going through this and would cry often, dont get angery for feeling jelous ur only human. I hope u feel a bit better and i have given u a glimmer of hope. good luck and seriously stop trying.sending love and light ur way xxxx