Sleeping troubles - please help

Hi Ladies

Olivia's 10 months now and until recently nap times have been no problem - she normally nods off with her milk and then I lay her down for 1-2 hours each morning so I can get some jobs done while she's in bed. The last few days however she's being a total nightmare with anything sleep related!

She falls asleep with her bottle but its as if she's in such a light sleep that as soon as you move to lay her down she wakes up and starts screaming. We've had to introduce controlled crying at night - only a couple of nights so far but it seems to be doing the trick. I'm not sure what to do at nap times though? She screams as soon as I lay her down and I know she's tired so its not that she doesnt need the nap.

Does anyone know if I should be doing the controlled crying during the day too? She's up there breaking her heart at the minute and its so upsetting to me - even harder during the day when hubbies not here to back me up

Any advice would be greatly appreciated,
Shelley & Olivia (both very upset )
xxx

How weird.....

I was about to post the same message, Emily is coming up for 6 months and she has started playing up at nap times and bedtime, as soon as I leave the room she starts crying. What is the controlled crying technique as I may have to try this out.........

Thanks for posting Shelley.....

Natalie & Emily x

Hi natalie

The best time to start controlled crying is at night. Perform your usual routine of bath, bottle, bed etc then time you put them down to sleep. Give them a reassuring word like, night night mummy loves you - sleep tight and you leave the room. Inevitably they will start to cry. You dont go immediately. Give it a few minutes and you go back in. Dont speak to them but reassure them with a shhhh and maybe a rub - no longer than one minute and you leave. Each time you leave it longer in between. The aim of the controlled crying is they learn to put themselves to sleep. By leaving it longer and longer in between checks they learn to self sooth. You need to be consistant and do the same technique for the next day nap times followed by the same technique for the bed time.

There are different ideas. Some say start with 3 minutes and increase from there. Others say ten minutes then you go in. I started at 3 minutes, increased to 5, then 7 then ten. It lasted just under an hour and he went to sleep without me being there.

My advice is that you do it when you feel READY and you do what you feel is right. We only did it with my son from 10 months because our other technique he had 'grown' out of . It worked the first night and now he is a dream. He goes down on his own for nap times (twice a day) and at night we have a little routine which means I have time to cook and eat dinner before 8pm because he is able to go to sleep on his own.

It is a very difficult thing to do. I cried the entire time the first night because it was so difficult knowing and hearing him crying for my affections but I told myself that I am putting him through this, I cant go back on it! and it worked. There are many supporters of CC and many non-supporters. I was a definite non-supporter until I had no choice but by that stage I was ready to do it. There are other techniques such as PU/PD which means you stay in the room and slowly move closer and closer to the door. We did this and it worked until he was 9 months. He then got clever and cottoned onto our tricks! I firmly belive CC ONLY worked for us because we were ready for it.

It will be interesting to hear other ladies views on CC

Good luck

Thanks....

for letting me know re the CC - we have not had to use that yet but you never know. Emily normally goes to sleep really well in the evenings (normally tucked up by 7.15pm leaving us the evening to cook dinner and generally chill !

Emily was out of sorts over the last couple of days as she had an upset tummy which resulted in endless poops and nappy rash so things were not normal. We also think she is teething..... We used Ashton Powder last night as we had a terrible night with her on Sunday night and it really worked.

Our next challenge is to change from the pureed fruit and veg and change the timings of food and milk and make the solids more meal like. The post that Nikki sent re the receipes is a brilliant idea and I will be cutting and pasting into a little document of my own to use......

Thanks
Natalie & Emily x

Hi shelley

We did controlled crying with my son and it worked the first night.

The 'rule' behind it is that you have to do the CC for night time AND naps.

The way we did it was:

We started on a Saturday night. I put him to bed - trigger word Doodoos time, night night, Mommy love you and then I left the room. It took just under an hour and he put himself to sleep. The next day - I put him in his cot for his morning nap. He moaned but didnt cry - within ten minutes he put himself to sleep. I did the same for his afternoon nap. Since then he now goes down without crying. He goes down regularly and sleeps well.

We had a small issue with the cot where he started to cry just looking at it as he associated it with the CC so what I do now is sit in the chair next to the cot before bed time (he doesnt mind during the day only at night) and reassure him until he reaches out for his cot. He then goes down no probs.

So the key is CC for naps & main sleep time. Try to keep ALL sleeps for their cots.

Good luck

Thanks

Hey hun, thanks for your reply.

We've stuck to the CC at bed time and during the night and it seems to be taking around 30 mins in the night but she does eventually go off.

I've just got to master the days then! I wish I knew why she's suddenly become such a light sleeper? As soon as I start to move towards laying her down she opens her eyes. She's always had all her naps in her cot and slept beautifully during the day until about a week ago. I'll persevere with it at nap time later today and hopefully she'll start to get the message soon.

Thanks for your advice.
Shelley & Olivia xx

Hi natalie

Its a nightmare isnt it? A friend of mine gave me her Super Nanny book to read which advises to leave the baby crying for a set amount of time, say 5 or 10 minutes (or less if thats what you're comfortable with) and then go back in, soothe her a little by stroking her or talking to her to reassure her you're still there and then leave again for the same amount of time. I think you just continue until she goes to sleep, increasing the periods that you leave the room for after a while so they get longer and longer.

With Olivia the crying doesnt even really stop when you go back in but we gave it a go and the first night it took her an hour to fall asleep (the longest hour of my life!) She was crying in her cot, I was crying on the stairs, it was awful. She did fall asleep eventually though and stayed asleep for most of the night. She woke up once and we gave her a little milk and then put her back in bed. This time the crying only lasted about 15 minutes.

Last night was a little better - the crying in the middle of the night was only about 15 mins again and then she slept til 9.30 this morning - a record!!

Its such a difficult thing to do but I think if you're going to do it you've just got to stick with it - everyone I've spoken to has assured me it works so I'm keeping my fingers crossed that it wont take long for her to catch on!

I'm just not sure if you're supposed to do the same thing during the day or handle it differently.

I hope you have some luck (and some sleep!) soon, maybe Emily might be teething?

Good luck hun,
Shelley & Olivia xx

Same thing

happened to us. I would be able to put my son down as soon as his eyes closed no probs then all of a sudden he decided NO! It took me two hours of him asleep before I could put him in his cot without him waking. So we decided plan B - I would put him in his cot but stay in the room until he went to sleep. The first time he cried but I continued to hold his hand and rub his back to reassure him and it worked. So we then had me putting him down and him putting himself to sleep within ten minutes but I had to be in the room.

Then three weeks ago - he decided he would happily lie down but FORCED himself awake fighting the sleep. It was taking well over an hour before he would drift off meaning I was loosing up to 2 hours per evening and dinner was now after 9!!

So had to introduce the controlled crying and the best thing I ever did!!

Good luck and let us know how you get on.

Persevere with it cause once it is in place it is great!