Having the panics

sorry haven't been on for a few days, OH broke the cable connection playing, oops I mean working, in the garden with a mini digger, boys and their toys! Going to the inlaws for a few days next week (they live 200 miles away from us) and have managed to get myself in a right state about it so am after a bit of advice and reassurance about travelling with babies if anyone can help. My worries are, firstly the journey, never taken Kaitlyn that far before and don't know how keen she's gonna be on being in the car for that long, gets grizzly quite quickly if she doesn't go to sleep as a rule. Then I'm worried about how she'll cope with being in a strange house, she's never slept anywhere but home before and is a nightmare to settle at the best of times so am worried she'll be upset and then I'll have her to cope with whilst feeling terrible that she's keeping everyone else awake at the same time. My main concern is Kaitlyn though and I know I'm probably too soft but it's really upsetting me the thought that she might not like being away from the security of home, know I can't wrap her in cotton wool but I soooo want to! Know it's good for her to experience new things and she'll probably have a lovely time but what if she doesn't? Feel we've been a bit emotionally blackmailed into going to be honest, OH has been getting it in the neck for months that we haven't been down but makes me wonder why they can't come here once in a while, surely it'd be easier for them without all the baby luggage? Of course I want Kaitlyn to know her grandparents but don't think they have any idea how much stress this trip will have caused me by the time it's over, timing not brilliant cos still trying to get my anti d dosage right for the PND and don't feel very stable at the best of times! Someone please tell me I'm not the only one to have felt like this and that it will be ok next week, so many people will be disappointed if I back out (stepkids are coming too) and I might if I can't start to think positively about it, help!

Love and hugs,
Clare and Kaitlyn (9 months) xxx

My trip

Hi Clare,
We just drove to Ireland from England last week to stay with relatives for a couple of weeks over the summer. It was a 12-hour-trip in the car and on the ferry. And on top of this, we had our dog in the car, too. Ashira is now 9 weeks old. I was dreading it too but to be honest, it was easy! She slept all the time in the car (she loves being in the car though so that is an advantage). She was easy on the ferry and she adapted wonderfully to the new environment and slightly different routine.
I made sure that I spent a long time at her cot the first night to make sure she feels reassured in the new place. I am sure your baby will be fine - after all, you are with her and that is all she needs!
Don't worry, just take plenty of stops when driving and give her the reassurance she needs once in the new place! I am sure she will be fine! Oh and make sure you bring her fav toys - but I am sure you thought of this yourself

Katy

Hi hun

First off i always feel exactly the same, that i'm putting Zac through something unneccessary if we go on holiday, i feel like i'm being cruel or something him being strapped in the car so long and been torn from his home environment-dramatic maybe but i always think like that, keep it to myself most of the time as OH thinks im a loon. I felt like this when we went to Australia at xmas. It cost us £5000 but i was willing to cancel as i was beside myself thinking how upset Zac was going to be in a strange place. OH had to convince me to go, as like you, other family were going and also OH's sisters wedding so felt totally obliged, i was nearly sick thinking about it. But Zac did absolutely brilliant and i think he only cried twice throughout the whole trip. He didn't sleep the frst week but that was because of the time difference and we actually stayed in 4 destinations while there plus the plane and he coped with the weather, food , everything. I do think babies are much more adaptable than we think but it doesn't stop us worrying that we're putting them through unneccessary ordeals does it, im like this the whole time. Since he was born and he cried i used to feel guilty and think that he wouldnt be upset if i hadnt brought him into the world
Practical things you could try are if you are taking a travel cot try her in the cot a couple of nights before you go to get her used to it and while there try and follow her bedtime routine as best as you can. Does she normally drop off in the car, if youre not driving you could sit in the back with her? Dont worry about keeping others awake, you cant help it and hopefully theyl just understand that's the way it is with babies. In Oz I remember i was running the water to cool Zac's bottle and MIL told me to turn it off because there was a drought. As if i would give Zac a hot bottle because she had a prob with it, i just ignored her! At the end of the trip you could also say something like it would be great for you to come to us next time, we'd love to have you so the onus is then on them. Good luck hun.

Anne-Marie & Zac 17 months xxx

Hi hun

don't fret everything will be fine!

we've taken siri on a few long journeys and she's been fine. there have been moments she hasn't been the happiest, but then we just stop for ten mins or so and show her what is around and after a bit of air and a feed she's fine.
i do sit in the back with her so i can easily entertain her.
she loves it when we are singing mamma mia, or some of her cds (got a box sset of party, action and nursery songs). we make sure and have her favourite toys with us so she can talk to them and play. we have a great in-car toy, its just a sun with a friendly face on with 2 dangly toys from that. when she is a bit annoyed she'll tell the butterfly how annoyed she is, before falling asleep lol
have you got the option of travelling a little later in the day so she can have a pretty full day before being in the car? that was they do sleep more. i put a towel over siri's car seat - hooked to the headrest on the back seat (don't know if your car seat is rear facing or not) as i think those sun screens are crap. but the towel is a good screen to shut out too much stimulus when you want her to chill out and hopefully sleep.
i was fretting before we first went (been down south - 10 hours each way - twice now, the first time was on either side of our holiday to the uk, the second time was down on the satuday and up on the monday) but it was absolutely fine.
one absolute godsend on the first journey (it was soooo hot) was a hand held fan, i just held it so siri could see it and she got a lovely breeze from it.

i think the key thing is to be as relaxed as possible, kaitlyn will pick up on you being chilled out, and even when she gets upset just stroke her forehead or distract her with another toy (keep some back so there is something new to entertain her) and explain that you will be stopping soon, then just pull over and have a few mins looking around and showing her new things.

it will be good for her, and for you, it'll show you how well you can cope in a different situation, and i am sure you will be fine!
any time you feel panicky just take out a pen and paper and write down logical things, such as 'kaitlyn's top is green, the sky is blue, there aren't many clouds out today' etc, just to get the logical side going and in control again.

as to staying at another house - what is she sleeping in? before we have taken siri's hammock with us, but she is in her cot now. i think she'll settle in her travel cot just fine though. but when we do travel we'll be making sure we have plenty of things that smell right to her. the most important thing is you being close to her and ready to take her out of the new place to a calm few minutes where you can have a cuddle and chill out.
if people are being too noisy, then take a few mins out, if people are being annoying, take a few mins out, if people are being the usual way families are and you want to scream, take a few mins out lol

it is a good age for her to see other places - she is aware enough to one: know that you exist even when she can't see you, so she will know that you will answer if she calls. and two: she will learn that other places are fun to be and she'll enjoy seeing other people.

and you can give her the security of cotton wool by being other places simply because you are there and you can give her the confidence that it doesn't matter where she is, she is safe

ok, i've done my usual blathering lol
i hope it helps

take care hun
it'll be fun showing her new things!

hugs
elizabeth & siri (7 months)
xxxx

oh another thought - make sure you have a change of clothes to hand and that she is not overdressed in the car seat - have her usual blanket to hand so when she is getting sleepy you can let her know it is sleepy time by popping it over her (assuming it is not too hot of course). when she is on the way to sleep just pop a cd on that you and hubby like to sing to and just gently sing while looking ahead - i have my arm next to siri so she can touch me if she wants but i don't crowd her.

xxx