Sex life after childbirth/c-section

Hi all, I know some may not want to talk about this. I have two friends who had babies 8 to 9 months ago, one has "attempted" sex once & I'm not too sure on the other but I got the impression that it hasn't happened.

DP & I have had sex twice since Thomas was born on 9th June. I had a c-section & suffered an umbilical hernia so it was a while before we did anything.
This may sound daft but we sleep in seperate rooms during the week 'cos DP needs all the sleep he can get 'cos he's up early & in late from work. So weekends is nice cos we get to share a bed lol.

The times we have "done it" - OMG it was soooooooooooo painful - & I didn't even have a natural birth! I thought it'd be cos it was the 1st time, but the 2nd time it hurt like mad again! It's only when we initially start, but it's like being a virgin again! It worries me & sort of puts me off. We had a great sex life before & I'd like to atleast have a sex life now lol. It's bad enough that I feel like sh*t about my body, DP is great at putting me at ease about that though & is good at boosting my confidence. But the longer we don't have sex for, the more insecure I think I'll get.

So, I was just wondering what your experiences are like, if thats ok with lot that I'm being nosy.

tc Caz xx

Hey hun, Ive been exactly the same!! We've tried a couple of times since and both times it has been painful to start with, I just fnd Im quite dry

I just think it will take time to get back to normal and things will get easier!!

Adele x

Same

Hey hun!!

Same here, I had a c section and things are probably only just about back to normal now in terms of not hurting when we've done it (sorry - I know you probably didn't want to hear it possibly taking that long!).

I've never mentioned it to doctor or HV or whatever, I figure that just because baby didn't come out that way the cervix still spent a while dilating and then contracting back down and having baby push down on it for a while, and I suspect it still takes it toll down there and is bound to be uncomfortable for some of us afterwards.

You're definitely not alone though!! hope all is well with you

Love N & Isla (9 months) xxxx

Hi hun

well it has taken a long time for us to get back to any sort of normal sex life - the combination of my stitch area being sore, my tailbone being broken and my pelvis/hips being very painful meant that anything more than just 'playing' with hubby wasn't that possible.
but we're almost back to normal now - just a few restrictions in positions due to my tailbone still being sore and my hips being a bit awkward sometimes.
for me the most annoying thing is that the stitch area (no idea how many i had, just know it was a few and they are all internal) is still not as 'elastic' as it was. apparently that will most likely get better a few years after i stop having kids lol
i was really tense the first times and it just wasn't possible to have sex - it was as though i locked up - but basically i was too sore and not ready. but when you are relaxed and not hurting anymore then well, it's a case of practice makes perfect lol
nikki's wine suggestion is a good one though for me i think a whole glass of wine would send me to sleep lol, a shandy is enough for me haha

so yeah, i'm better enough that we are starting for our next one lol, insane? yes!

i think the best idea would be to not plan sex - but plan to play, and then when playing if you decide you want to, then do. that's the way we got things back to normal - no expectations and no pressure

i can understand the separate rooms thing hubby uses eye covers and earplugs dring the week

hugs
elizabeth & siri (nearly 8 months!!)
xxxx

Oooh

Eye mask & earplugs - great idea!! I will suggest that.

Thanks again ladies for your stories & understanding.

xxxxx

Hi hunny x

Well...... I had a Natural Childbirth and Riley's huge head got stuck, AND I had a 3rd degree tear,lol OUCH!!!! so I was expecting sex afterwards to be incredibly painful... and the first time it was.. but it was only about a fortnight after the birth that we tried lol .
I had trouble after that because I was expecting it to hurt so i think I was tensing myself up a lot and thus creating more pain than there would hav been had I been relaxed.
I had a wee glass of wine one night and I was So chilled out (as it was the first alcohol I'd had for like 10 months lol) that I didnt worry about the pain.. and to be honest it was a teeny bit at first but becuase I was more relaxed it was just like before I had riley after that!
Its easy to get insecure after having a baby, esp after havin a section. Its Major surgery when you think about it so your body is bound to take a heck of a long time to get over it. Its great that you have a supportive partner tho, make the most of him and if you are still a bit wary about "doing it" then maybe have a bubble bath together, or give each other a massage! when I was pregnant me and hubby used to find other ways of being close to each other which helped me feel more loved!

I hope you feel better about it all soon hun,
not sure if I hav helped much lol.
and dont worry about posting a question about sex on here... we're all there for each other whatever the issues are!!!

hugs hunny x x x x
Nikki B x x x x x x x x

im no help really but didnt want to go with out leaving a message...

i had a natural birth and it isnt painful for me so i dont understand why it would hurt when uve had a c-section? If it continues to be painful i would mention it the Doctor or HV see what they say. Hope it gets better.

Lucy xx

Thanks ladies

Nikki - I remember that first glass of wine lol.

I think it may be painful 'cos like Nikki said, I'm probably tensing up & not having as regular sex as we used to probably hasn't helped. I'm only 4ft 11" & DP is 6ft 1", so that's another reason if you catch my drift, he's a "tall" man lol

tc Caz xxx