Am i right to be angry?

Hi everyone

Hope your all ok.

Basically this year my mum had a holiday booked for June, Megan was due on the 8th and mum was going away on the 12th, Megan then came along on the 20th and Mum came back on the 27th. Was annoyed she missed it, and was very annoyed that she didnt text to see how i was getting on during labour even though we were keeping her updated but once Megan was here I didnt care, I had my step dad and his girlfriend and my brother was absolutely amazing.

My mum has now informed me that she is going on holiday again next year the day before Megans birthday. I am absolutely fuming at her, it was bad enough she missed the birth, never mind missing her first birthday.

i got told that having kids wasnt going to be easy and she was upset for me etc etc and now she is missing all the most important bits.
Would it hurt her not to have a holiday for one year or go later on, or go somewhere else and take my lil brother on holiday

Sorry for the rant, but im fuming!!

Nat and Megan xxx

She has never mentioned cancelling, my step dad called her fuming when he found out she was still going on holiday around my due date, and she said well i didnt expect nat to get pregnant. she didnt even offer to come back when she found out i was having trouble in labour. for the 2nd time in 2 years i had my stomach cut open ( i had a cyst the size of a newborn back in 2007), and although i had my hubby i was terrified i wasnt expecting to have a c section.

Me and mum werent that close when i was younger, but once i moved back from london (i moved at 16 and she just let me go) we were really close, and thought we still were but im not so sure now.

i spoke to her tonight and said im really not happy and that she knows the dates so surely she could change it by a few days, and she just told me that the prices go up if they go later and that their friend has already got it booked but they have 30 days cancellation at no charge.

im still going to make sure megan has the best day ever, but i cant believe mum isnt going to be there, she doesnt seem bothered either but then she plays proud grandma if anyone is around.

im gutted that she doesnt give a damn

Thanks for the replies ladies, its good to know i got someone to rant and rave at

xxx

I would

tell her that it's even bloody cheaper to go at the end of May or the very start of June ha ha (that's when I go btw).

Well it sounds like there's not much you can do. I'm sure you don't want her hanging around under duress anyway. You can't change her so you're gonna have to change how you feel and how you deal with her. Try and lower your expectations from her as a Grandma. It's her loss, keep remembering that and I'm sure the rest of family make up for what she lacks.

Jen x (I still think she's avoiding something. Is she envious?)

I think she is very jealous to be honest.
When i got told that chances of having babies are low, she said that if she wasnt sterilized she would offer to be a surrogate then she offered to see if it would get reversed. I told mum that i didnt want her doing this as it wouldnt be right. Dont want to cause conflict but i just couldnt get my head around it and dont agree the mother should do it.

ive now decided im not making the effort to take megan upto her, if she wants to see her then she should make the effort, and then if she misses out, she misses out. She will comment on all her pics on facebook but hasnt seen her in a few days so im leaving her too it, hopefully one day she will regret it.

xx

No wonder you're fuming

I would be too.
I'm guessing you have a fairly good relationship with your Mum as you naturally expected her to be around at these times and are clearly dissapointed that it's not there for you.
She's not doing this for nothing, she's avoiding. I'd have to ask what it was if I was you. Tell her it seems so deliberate that you can't help but wonder???

My Mum says if you want to offend/hurt someone then you diss their kids and she had a go at my sis for not giving mine a xmas pressy or card last year. Why does your Mum want to diss you by not placing any importance on Megans 1st b'day or her birth? Ask her.

Jen x

definitely hunni... my mum had a holiday booked after cadene's due date but if i went over she would of cancelled... this year she's planned her holiday for after cadene's birthday and is doing loads for the party etc... it's her loss hun dont stress yourself you have a beautiful daughter who will be happy either way... rant anytime hun it's what we're here for xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx danica and cadene 11 months xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi nat

My mum wasn't around when I had my daughter either, she managed to get round to see her when she was a week old, she was too busy before then ( lives within walking distance of me ) and she didn't visit on her first birthday either, so I know exactly how you're feeling hun.

You can rant anytime, that's what we're here for..... no need to apologise.

xXx

omg!

Of course you have a right to be angry!! I would be fuming!
When I had my little girl I was only 16 and my mum wasn't too pleased about it. She said she was going on holiday around my due date as she didn't want to be there but as the months went on, she cancelled and ended up being my birth partner. I can't believe she would miss her grandchild birth and her 1st birthday! That is disgusting. I would speak to her hun and tell her how you feel.
I'm sure she could go on holiday a week later or something!



Well we will all be here for you on Megans birthday.
Hugs love Kirsti, Daisy (3) and 31+2 Yellow Bump.xx