Need some advice quickly!

Hey girls.
I'll try make it quick! Ok so my 3 year old started school last monday. She just goes 5 afternoons a week until next september when she will go 5 full days. Last monday I took her and made sure she got settled in, she waved at me and said bye mummy then ran off to the other kids! When I picked her up she was dead excited and said she loved it. Tuesday was similar, she seemed to really enjoy it. Wednesday she wasn't too bothered about going but she went ok. Thursday she protested about going but didn't make too much of a fuss. Friday she announced she didn't think she should be going everyday! When I took her in she cried when I said bye Her teacher said she wouldn't interact with the other children and spent alot of the time crying/asking for me.

All weekend she was asking me about whether she had to go to school again and that she hated it etc. She had a bad night on sunday night, she kept waking up crying, saying she didn't want to go to school.

Monday dinnertime she hid from me before we set off to school! She hid under the bed!! I had a huge battle with her. She was crying her eyes out and on the walk to school she kept trying to run away
I practically had to drag her into the classroom and every door we went through she clung onto it to try and prevent me from getting her in the room!! VERY embarassing when all the teachers, other mums and children were watching! Also it's not a very practical thing to be doing when your VERY pregnant!
It took me AGES to settle her, she kept clinging to me and she screamed the place down!
I'd only just got home when I had to go pick her up again because she was creating too much of a fuss and upsetting other children.

What do i do? Should I take her out of school until she's 4 or will that make her worse? I wanted her to go to school half days so I didn't have a hypo child to run around after as well as a newborn. I would really appriciate advice girls, I'm tearing my hair out here!! I'm DREADING tomorrow afternoon

HELP

A VERY stressed out Kirsti, Daisy the terror (3) and 33+2 Yellow Bump.xx

Oh, lordy!

I'm sorry, Kirsti! That must be so stressful for you and your family, especially you being so pregnant now!

I've got six-year-old twins and my husband has a five-year-old from his previous marriage. We've been together for over three years, so I've seen her grow up, too. When my twins, Annie and Em, started school, they loved it. They were so excited to go everyday as little kids - made them feel grown up. About halfway through their first year, Annie started fussing about things at school, which upset Em and caused a terror. Their teacher said they fussed for hours and cried for me and wouldn't play with anyone but eachother. I sat them both down to talk about school, and it turns out they had a bit of an incident one day at lunchtime where Annie had an accident and was laughed at and the teacher did not inform me! Needless to say, I was very upset. I told Annie she had nothing to worry about and accidents happen, and that she is lucky that she's got Em to stick up for her. I then went in and chatted with the teacher, told her I was upset with her lack of concern for my daughter, and told her that my girls have particular sensitivities and have trouble interacting with other kids sometimes. She helped me a bit. Be upfront with the teacher and talk to Daisy - she may be able to let you in a bit more and you can both work with the teacher to make the situation fun.

For my step-daughter, Sophie, school was trouble from the start. She just didn't enjoy it. We had to move her to a different teacher's classroom because she hated her teacher (Russ and I did, too) and that helped a bit. Mostly, we "played school" at home, me and Sophie and Annie and Em...she thought it was a fun thing then. Try getting Daisy to play with kids who have been through school and like it...it might help!

I know what it is like suffering through school when being heavily pregnant. I'm 38 weeks at the end of this week and I've just sent the twins to first grade and Sophie to her last year of kindergarten. Luckily they are all gone all day now, so I can finally prep for this baby!!! Hang in there, sweetheart!

Love,

Claire, Russell, Anna Hazel (6), Emma Louise (6), Sophia Mary (5), and 38-wk Blue Bump (Jude Oliver DeBalleviere)

Hi

Sounds like your having a really hard time at the mo.

I am a qualified nanny/nursery nurse and have 2 children of my own. Abbie is nearly 4 and Ewan is 7 months. I have loads of experience but im not an expert!!

From what you have described i would say something has happened at school for your daughter to go from being very happy about the situation to what you have had today. Or could she just be tired by the afternoon and possibly benefit from doing mornings? My daughter will be 4 soon so has just missed the school intake this yr, she has been at a day nursery since 2 and a half where she started doing 2 mornings and now does 2 full days. I considered moving her to a pre school attached to a school like you describe but they only had afternoon sessions available, i turned it down and Abbie is staying where she is untill school.

Perhaps sit down with Daisy in the morning and ask her why she doesn't want to go and maybe see if you can find out if anything happened towards the end of last week to upset her. Maybe call the school in the morning too to speak to the teacher as you clearly wont be able to talk to them with Daisy screaming and see if they can help.

Stick with it for a couple of weeks and speak positively with Daisy about school and prepare her in the morning that after lunch she is going etc etc. If you have no improvement i would consider moving her as its supposed to be a fun and happy time for you all.

Sorry for rambling but please feel free to pm me if you need any more advice or got any other questions.

Kelly, Abbie almost 4 and Ewan 7 and half months

Thankyou hun

I agree. Something must of happened for her to suddenly hate going. I tried talking to her but she gets all upset as soon as I mention the word school and she just ignores me!!
There were morning sessions available but there are 31 children in the morning and only 18 in the afternoon so when I booked her place they were hinting that she went in the afternoon.
Daisy didn't go to nursery, she just started pre-school in january and just went 1 morning a week. She also disliked this at first but I stuck with it and after a couple of week she settled in ok ( she was nowhere near as bad though ) Then this september I moved her to a pre-school attatched to the primary school that she will be going to next year. All the other children go 5 days a week so I automatically put her down for 5 days. Also I thought it would be easier for me with a newborn this autum!
I'm going to try talk to her teacher tomorrow morning and sort something out and ask her if anything has happened that would make Daisy dislike school so much. I can't carry on with this! It's driving me insane and it's putting so much stress on me, Daisy and my unborn baby!!
I think I will have to cut down the amount of days she goes and see if that improves anything.
Thankyou so much for your reply. It means alot.

Kirsti.xx

school should help..

Hi there,
I'm sorry 2 hear this but I'm sure the school teachers should be helping u more, rather than ringing u 2 fetch her.
This in my opinion as a nursery nurse, is just teahing ur child that if she crys n creates they will ask u 2 cum in n fetch her, hence the battles!!!
It is very hard n u r made 2 feel like the worst mum in the world, I know! I have been there when my now nearly 4 yr old started private nursery just 1 day a week!!
Maybe suggest 2 the head that she is weaned in2 the sessions so does 1 day a week, then 2, 3 etc til she is happy n content 2 do all 5?
Maybe it is all 2 much 4 her in 1 go and also she may be sensing changes at home with u nearly due 2 have ur baby!
If she enjoyed the 1st few days then this mite be a help. I would ask 4 a meeting with the head or teacher involved n see wot they could suggest. Don't give up just yet hun.
Fingers crossed 4 u and keep at it. The school should help u more though hun.
Good luck, mummyand2. xx

Thanks.x

Yeah I do feel like the worst mum in the world!!! It's horrible!
She gets in such big strops and starts kicking stuff and throwing stuff so they probably got sick of her! It seems only I can calm her down at the mo. She went 1 day a week last year and although she hated that at first, she soon settled in( she was no where near as bad last year though )
Her dad was apparently just like her when he started school and he didn't like from day 1 right through till he left at 16!! I'm worried she will turn out like that! I don't want a battle on my hands every single day until she is 16 My mum is insisting on taking her out of school until she is 4 but I'm not convinced that will help. I think it will make her worse.

I'll go in and have a word with the head tomorrow. I just don't understand why she loved it until thursday, now she despises it!!!
She has friends there, my neighbours little girl is in her class and they are best friends so that isn't the problem.

Thanks for the reply I'm just at my wits end with her!

Kirsti xx

Hi kirsti

i had the exact same problem with my son. he started in the afternoons and LOVED it for the 1st couple of weeks. on the friday of the 2nd week he kicked, screamed, howled before we had even left home. on the way up to school he was awful. he had a bit of a cold so i didn't object too much about not leaving him. on the monday he was the same with OH so again we left it. i had a chat with him and it turns out that a wee boy had pushed him, and the electricity had went out for a bit when he was there on the thursday and he was scared(nice of them to tell us on the thursday )

i took him up on the tuesday and told his teach that i was going to sit with him, it was the only way i could get him up to school. even standing there waiting to go in he was sobbing . i sat with him for half an hour then sneaked out while he was engrossed playing, to sit in the family room so i was close by if he started again. he was ok, a few tears when he realised that i was away but he was ok when he knew i was close by. he's fine now, loves it again, and proudly told me today that the same boy had pushed him again and he'd pushed them back

i think something has maybe happened to your wee lass and its really stuck in her head. even something that can seem insignificant to an adult can stick in a childs mind. i hope you can get it sorted coz it really breaks your heart to see your child like that.

tc, gail xx