Nursery sessions - i am so cross

Hey Girls,

Those who know me on FB will have seen my posts but I am so fecking angry and upset! Today was Emily's first settling in session at her nursery as I go back to work next week. Today's was 10am till 12noon which meant she will have her lunch there.

Last week Mark and I met with the key carer to go through all Emily's information, i.e what she eats, when she sleeps, does she need a comforter etc etc and we completed lots of paperwork.

Emily is a fusser eater so I explained to the key carer that i will provide alternative lunch if Emily did not eat what was offered so at least she is eating something.

So today we turned up with a little Upsy Daisy rucksack (so cute) with spare clothes, Emily's juice and her Ella Kitchen if she did not eat what was on the menu. Gave all this to the key carer and said what was in the rucksack. Then I handed Emily over and went home (its amazing how much housework you can do in an hour!)

So went back to the nursery at midday and Emily was in a bouncy chair, balling her eyes out (no dummy) bright red in colour. I went over to her, picked her up and she was so hot and sweaty so must have been crying for a long time. I asked one of the ladies how long had she been crying and she replied only a couple of minutes, sorry but for Emily to get into such a state it must have been at least ten minutes.

Then I asked has she had her lunch, her reply was she had a couple of mouthfulls but did not like it - So I said, well did you give her the Ella instead? She said no, didn't realise that there was such a thing. I then asked what fruit did she have, again a mouthfull. So those with more than 2 brain cells could probably work out that Emily was crying coz she was hungry! So I said, right I will feed her here, so they gave me her Ella and I fed Emily in the nursery and she was fine after that albeit tired from all that crying. Noone seemed to realise there was an alternative food and our key carer was at lunch!! I then asked has Emily had any juice. No, it had not been touched!! I was so upset and cross that I cried and said what the hell is going on - poor emily is being neglected and they assume that if she only has a couple of mouthfuls then she is not hungry!!! We have had a problem with her weight so we need to ensure that she gets a good meal at all times.

I was so upset. The key carer came back in and I basically said, this is not a good start is it - where is the communication, what happened to all the notes that you write down down, do any of the other carers read these????

Anyway, going on a bit now - we left, I was too angry and upset to talk to the manager and Emily was tired so we drove home and I popped Emily in her cot to sleep.

Call the Manager, after calling Mark and my Mum to vent out some anger. The Manager was really nice, understanding and very apologetic and will go and speak to the key carer to see what happened. We are going back for another session on Thursday but this is in the afternoon but I have asked for another extra session on Friday through lunch to see how we get on. I will stay there for that sesson but will let someone else feed Emily.

They said she played well in the morning and I would imagine she did and I expect that the reason Emily was so upset was that she was hungry - but surely any numpty could work this out......

Anyway, you are probably all losing the will to live now. I have been very upset this afternoon and I had a smear test which I normally dread but to be honest it was a welcome distraction

Anyway (keep saying that) - lets hope that things improve as I go back to work on Monday and honestly was looking forward to it but now I am fearing it. This has also made me appreciate my lovely little girl even more as she was so upset....

Thanks Girls, if you are still reading this - for reading - it helps to vent out frustrations!!

Natalie & Emily (8 months) xxxx

Take her elsewhere...

... honestly hun i dont think your mind will be at peace with her there because you will always have your doubts about them... try the other place if it has been recommended.... i would have gone mad if that was cadene they would of got a slap... anyway hun i'm not trying to worry you i just think you should go with your gut feeling, men dont really understand these things and they had their chance to make a good impression on you... hope you're feeling better now and today goes ok for you and emily xxxxxxxxxxxxxx danica and cadene 13 months xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hi girls

quick update, I am looking an alternatives now for Emily's care...... this episode has turned me into a messy crying wreck - I cannot turn it off = hormones or just being upset, who knows..... woke up this morning crying...

Seeing a childminder in the morning which has been recommended to me by a friend at Baby Sensory and also I spoke to the Hampshire Childminder Association who recommends this person too and she has spaces available so if all works out we may have an alternative.

Mark thinks that I should give our current nursery another go - we have another settling in session tomorrow so I will go but I am not convinced and am soo worried about Emily's welfare if she stays there.

This week which is my last week before i return to work has been very stressfull. It was meant to be a nice week with me and Emily.......

Will let you know how it goes.........

Natalie & Emily x

Awwww

I've been thinking about childminders aswell over the last few days and haven't even been for settling in sessions yet!!! I'm getting so worked up about it aswell and had bouts of tears myself, so can easily understand after what you saw yesterday why you'd want to consider going elsewhere.

I think theres a lot to be said for mummy's instinct/intuition and if you feel the need to look elsewhere then it can't hurt to at least investigate and see if your hunches are better. Good luck with it, and also with your next session, I hope you can finish the week feeling more at ease with whatever you decide. xxx

Stressed!

Hi Nikki,

This is so hard, I think it is a combination of the bad experience I had the other day, trying to find an alternative, no sleep through worrying and I am constantly blubbing and also the fact that I am back at work next week and leaving my little girl 3 days.

I am seeing another nursery today, it is 2 childminders, a mother and daughter combination and they are older, the daughter is 31 so hopefully with someone a little older they will have common sense and the experience. It is a smaller nursery and relatively new and comes recommended and I spoke to the Hampshire Childcare Association who also recommended them. Seeing them this morning and I have a load of questions - if happy I will make my decision there and then.....,

Still have another session at the other nursery this afternoon and Mark has asked me to give them a second chance which I will but I am not sure.

Wish I could stop crying about it, I am so stressed and feel wrung out with it all - Mark does not understand why I am feeling like this - he goes to work and all is the same with him.....!

I am praying that he will give me some time out at the weekend to have a nice hot bath and perhaps a couple of hours sleep to catch up a bit.......

Are you going on recommendations for your childcare - I think it is so important to find somewhere via word of mouth - good luck and let us know how you get on!

Love Natalie xxxxx

Bless you

Awww hun, I really feel for you. It's tough enough going back without rubbish nurseries making you feel even more hesitant about leaving the little ones.

I think this nursery will need to really work to change your mind though. You only left her there for 2 hours and it was the first time, you would almost think they would be keeping an even closer eye on her as its in their interests to sus out how to make her feel welcome and happy before the big day, but they don't seem to have shown much appreciation for what a big transition those couple of hours would have been for Emily (and you). Unless you feel drastically different at the next session I think binning them is wise. They seem happy enough to take the money but can't even make the first day a pleasant one for you both!

The nursery we picked has come recommended yes, I know quite a few people who have put babies into various different child care over the last year and although I didn't read the ofsted stuff myself, all my friends did, so I know which ones to avoid at least and there are 3 or 4 babies I know already there. (the parents must think I'm mental as every time I bump into them one of the first things out of my mouth is "is nursery still ok?" haha!!). It doesn't make it any easier though, I still dread it every day

Let us know how you got on today xxxxx

Update

Hiya,

Well I saw another place this morning, a mother / daughter outfit - more a childminder in a house and there is only two other children there (aged 2). The house is very homely and Emily loved their dog!! I felt at home there and they offered me a cuppa! Saw all their paperwork, Emily played, whilst one of the two year olds brushed her hair and when she saw the dog she was sooo excited. We were there from 10.30 until 12.45pm!! We stayed for Emily's lunch and she was okay. She had a couple of wimpering moments but generally okay. The Mother is very Mumsy and was great with Emily and showed me where she would sleep and where she would get changed. Went thru the medication diary, daily diary of what she eats, how often changed etc and they do take them on days out with prior permission. Its cheaper too!!!

So, we are going back tomorrow morning to complete the paperwork and Emily will have her lunch there and a sleep and I will disappear for a little bit.

Only snag is that they look after Emily from next week until end of November then not again until February so I will have to find a stop gap but it helps in the meantime...

Now I am typing my termination letter to the other nursery - will hand deliver it after Emily has been at the other nursery and all the paperwork has been concluded.........

Feel alot better, albeit I am knackered and I am sure Emily is too (asleep now) - we have not had a moment at home today and tomorrow morning will be the same so tomorrow afternoon we shall have a nice quiet afternoon playing, just the two of us.

I AM SO TIRED - I am hoping for a better nights sleep......!!

Thanks for the messages girls!

Lots of Love
Natalie & Emily x

Morning nikki

Yep, the new childminder was good, went back there yesterday morning and spent a couple of hours there. Emily was generally fine and loved different toys and the dog and there were a couple of 6 year olds (childminders daughter off school) who made a fuss of Emily. She is teething badly at the moment though so we had a few grissly moments but we had that at home too so it was not where she was. Gave her some Ashtons which helped. Felt really good about it - obviously it will take a bit of time for them to get to know Emily well but I have given them notes on Emily (3 pages!) on her feeding, sleep routines and general likes, preferences etc etc

So my mind was made up and yesterday afternoon I went to the old nursery with an official letter saying that Emily will not be back. They were absolutely fine and all went well, they will even refund my £150 deposit so that is great news!

So feel so much better and more relaxed. The sleeping thing is still not 100% but I went to bed at 10.15 last night and woke up just after 2 and could not sleep so took 2 Nytols and then woke up at 5.40 so not too bad - could be alot better.

Now I need to concentrate on packing Emily's stuff for nursery and getting myself ready for work on Monday. I will be nervous about leaving Emily on Monday but hopefully all will be okay.

Have you sorted your childcare yet? If so will you do some settling in sessions - hope so as they are really worth it - let us know who you get on.

Love
Natalie & Emily xx

Lmfao

Thank God for your smear test ha ha.

Fkn diddys. They should ensure an 8 mth old has more than a few spoonfuls. What's that gonna do? No wonder you're mad. Ask for feedback from the manager on what she said to the key person.

My turn. My nursery is the joint after school care which is great as I only have 1 pick up after work for everyone. I don't work a Tuesday so I left the babies with the mums at playgroup and ran to get Jude at school. I met him at the lollipop man. He never came. I had to go back to the playgroup cos my phone, bag etc not to mention other kids were there. I rang the school who didn't have Jude. I rang his friends mum, she didn't have him. I was so worried but I had to get Francis and Charlies jackets on to go find Jude. I was quickly running along the road to our house hoping that Jude had for some reason wandered home and was sitting on the step.

I rang OH too and he called the after school care, rang me back to tell me that they had taken him

OK, it was good to know he was safe but I don't work on a fkn Tuesday, there not supposed to take him. And it's freakin miles away and I had been flying about everywhere with the double buggy. When I arrived they were of course sorry! At least now they won't dare pull me up for not going to their stupid AGM last night. Bl**dy child care

Yep.

thank god for my smear test and I was having a lovely chat with the nurse with my pants off and my legs in the air whilst my daughter was blowing raspberries!!

seriously though, are these people 3 sandwiches short of a picnic - I ask you. Anyway still upset and had to resort to a glass of red tonight!!

I have booked an extra settling in session over lunch for Emily on Friday and I will sit in the background and monitor how things are. I maybe over reacting but I cannot have my little girl not eating her meals and losing weight again.

hopefully this will all blow over and because I have complained to the manager, Emily will be monitored and cared for better (well she should anyway!!) but we shall see.

It is mad how upsetting it is, and all I keep seeing is her little face crying so much - bless her. She was fine this afternoon, we had a play on her playmat and general rough and tumble (she loves it) and of course extra kisses and cuddles!!!

So stressful isnt it trying to balance work and nursery!!!!

Love to all
Natalie & Emily (asleep upstairs hopefully dreaming of nice fluffy things) xxxxxxxx