Finding it incredibly hard to be a mum of 2

Hey ladies,
I don't come on here very often these days. I just don't have the time. Is it just me or are other mums of 2 finding it really difficult? My son is now 21 months and my daughter is 14 weeks old. I'm lucky to have 2 good kids. baby wakes up only once a night for a feed, my son is brilliant with his sleep and although he's getting into the "terrible twos", if I look at it objectively, he's very good and easy as well. But OMG, I just feel that I can't get on top of things. Since my daughter was born I have the feeling that I've been in a continuous stretch of nappy changing, cuddling, feeding, and when they are asleep, it's cleaning the house, cooking, etc... Weekends don't mean anything anymore, we don't see anybody, we don't go out at all, we don't have a life. To cut it short I don't have any me time at all, my husband and I don't have any us time either. I don't even know what it means anymore! My husband is quite good at helping, but still, i just don't do anything but look after my kids. I just don't know when it's gonna get better but as much as I love my babies, I can't really say i'm enjoying being a mum right now. I feel that i'm nothing BUT a mum, and not a pretty one either because I just don't have time to look after myself. I guess I'd like to feel a bit more glamorous sometimes, and a wife and a woman as well as a mum.
I suppose the awful weather doesn't help... I'm not even looking forward to christmas because it means more running around to buy presents and so on and I don't know how I can squeeze anything more right now.
Are other mums finding it that hard too? Please tell me it'll not be like that forever!!!sorry for the long post and thanks for reading,
Flo, Etienne 21 months, and Léonie 14 weeks
xxx

Thank you

Hello Ladies,
just wanted to say thank you for your messages. I'm feeling better today. I think I was just feeling very blue the other day when I posted this and your messages were very uplifting and made me realise some of you would have many more reasons to feel overwhelmed (i'm thinking of all of you mums of 4 or 5) than i have, but instead, you get on with it and it's inspiring.
thanks again
Flo and the mini monsters

Hi

me too i have 2 sons luke who is 21 months and hayden who is 4 and half months now like you i have days where i feel like a robot mum the same routines every day and if im half an hour out of it i panic, daft eh.

i was told it gets easier

all i can say is try and take time out for yourself which i know is hard

keep smiling
karen and luke21months and hayden 18weeks

xx

Heya hun,
The weather has alot 2 answer 4!!!!
It makes it so difficult 2 get out n about n makes a huge difference 2 kids behaviour!
It must b hard 4 u. I have 2 under 5s, youngest bein 5 months n it can be very tiring n stressful!!
My hubby wrks away in wk so I 2 find myself baby talking n constantly lkin after the kids. I havent really got any hobbies n havent got consistent childcare at nites so cant do alot! I do make the most of wkends n anytime I can get out though, so not all bad!!!
Im sure it won't last 4eva!
Take care, mummyand2. xx

hey hun

i cant really offer any advice other than what the lovely ladies below have just said, but i didnt want to read and run.

i have 2 babies like you and i do know what you mean about the nappies. i feel like i am up and down the stairs to change pooey bums like a yo yo sometimes and there are days where it drives me potty. but, that said, i know that when they are bigger and they dont need me to do so much stuff for them, i will miss being the person that they relied on for everything, so i try to remember that on the days when its one poo after the other!

i remember when i just had oliver, i did used to try and make sure that i got out every day where possible. even if it was just for a walk into town to buy some nappies, just to get out of the house and get some air and speak to another adult!

i do have days where i want to bang my head against the wall, but for the most part, i am lucky and i find it ok. i just try to remember on those bad days, that it isnt like it all the time and it wont be like it forever.

chin up babe, you will be fine!

love kelly, oliver 21 months and emilie, 7 months
xxx

(((hugs)))

Like Jen and Sarah, i too have 5 kids (Lily 9, Charlie 7, Alfie 6, Harry 19 months and Tommy 8 months) it feels like i have been changing nappies forever, at the mo i have 3 in nappies (Alfie 6, is autistic and even the continence clinic have exhausted their knowledge getting him toilet trained)
and it feels like i am constantly changing nappies.

I have days (most days in fact) where i feel like i am never going to be called Leitia again, i am JUST Mum, i'm not sure i even know who Leitia is anymore...and then i think one day they are all going to leave home and i will be sooooo lost.

I always try and get everything prepared the night before, uniforms and clothes laid out, so that everything is ready and waiting, that way i can get the kids ready double quick then get myself ready...or the other option is to wake up a little bit earlier than the kids get ready then wake them up and get them ready then.

But i promise you it isn't like this forever as they get older they do become more independent and will be able to sort out their own breakfast/get themselves dressed etc, and of course the nappy changes will stop.

Don't get disheartened Flo, it WILL get better
tons of love and huge hugs
Xx xX

Like jen

I also have 5 sons, aged 8, 7, 5 (in Dec), 4 (in Jan) and 16 months. I know its difficult at times, especially when you wanna get out and the weather is rubbish but it does get better believe me. There are times when all I wanna do is throttle my lot but that moment passes quiet quickly, luckily lol.

Sometimes I just wish I could vamoush for a few mins when they are all on one. I do find it hard when its the eve and im tired and need peace and quiet and it feels like I got a hundred kids in my lounge shouting MUM, MUM, MUM, MUM, MUM, it drives me nuts sometimes

My one word of advice though is to enjoy them while they are babies/toddlers cause before you know it they will be in school and you will miss them like mad. Ive been changing nappies everyday for 8 years and 9 months and by the time Harry is outta nappies it will probably be more like 10 years but I can honestly say its gonna be little things like that, that im gonna miss as they get older (weird I know lol). Another thing is my 4 older boys, I had within 5 years and now all of a sudden they are growing up and leaving me to go to school. My 4th boy starts full time school sep '10 A lady said to me the other day 'I know youve had them all really close together but now all of a sudden they are growing up, gowing to school and your gonna be all alone

I was like 'yeah alright, dont rub it in' lol

I probably havent helped one little bit and waffled on about a load of old rubbish but enjoy them cause you will have all the time in the world to be a wife and friend once they have grown up. Well thats my plan anyway

Take care and keep smilling

Sarah

xx

I have 5 sons

but the latest 2 were born 11 months apart, there was a 5 year old and 2 teenagers. It does get more manageable as you gain more experience at being a mum of more than 1 but there is always rotten days. Today, I've changed 7 poos and there's another on the go just now

I've recently returned to work and it's probably the first time I've felt like I'm not just a Mum as nobody helps me out with the kids so there is no time or opportunity to be dressed up Jen, pub Jen, etc.

I made things worse for myself in the beginning by believing that having 2 small babies made it too difficult to do anything in the day, go to town or playgroups etc and it did make all the difference when I started making the effort to do these things. I felt more satisfied.

The stage you're LOs are at just now may be quite a difficult one but it'll have moved on before you know it. You'll get there.

Jen x