Feeling down

Hi all. As you may know I failed my driving test last week and even tho gutted I know that it's not the end of the world and I will pass it one day.

The trouble is that since then I have realised that I have been feeling rubbish, I initially thought it was the disappointment of failing but I have actually realised that I've been feeling low for several months. I've not been fully aware of it but know that i've been acting like I'm fine to try and convince myself and others and I'm exhausted.

I've been trying to think when it came on and i think that it was around the time I stopped bf and my af came back. My PMT has been intense and horrible, I get really sad and actually it never goes away completely. I can't be bothered about housework...just feel like it's always hanging over me and the house is always a tip. I don't even have any interest in my hair or how I look. Everything feels like hard work and I just can't be bothered, as long as Sam is ok I'm not too fussed about me.

I wake up every morning with adrenalin pumping and a feeling of dread and panic at what I might have to do that day and I have realised that I used to go to several groups with Sam and to yoga on my own on a Tues night but we haven't done either for weeks now. I can't remember the last time I felt relaxed and at peace and I think that's a bit sad. I also cannot bear to hear anything sad, especially if children are involved and find that I am crying on a daily basis and generally just feeling sorry for myself. This is not me at all. I feel like hiding away.

Sorry to offload, haven't seen my friends much and don't wanna tell my mum cos think I will explode into tears!
I have Sam's 32 week check on Thurs so think that I should maybe mention it to the HV. I keep hoping that it'll pass and that I'm making a big fuss but it's been going on a bit long now. I feel like I should be enjoying this time with Sam and that I'm wasting it cos I'll be back at work in Feb and then things will be even harder. I'm dreading my next test and the lessons before that but I thought that was the cause of feeling crap but maybe the other way round. Oh I dunno.

God, what a misery I am...sorry! There are times when I feel a glimmer of feeling ok but it doesn't seem to last.

Thanks for reading and hope I haven't passed on my fed up ness! Rach x x x

(Please don't mention anything on facebook as obviously haven't shared my feelings with anyone else)

Hugs

Awwww, Rach

Deffo mention this to HV, she will be so used to hearing this that she will straight away have a plan of action I am sure, and I bet once you've told her you'll feel a bit liberated already.

I sometimes feel like i'm disappearing into a hole around the PMT time (never really thought much of it til you just mentioned actually). I'm the same though, find myself not getting out as much (I always go for a walk twice a day with Isla but find myself putting off baby groups or going to play areas etc with other mums, have no idea why!). similarly, the house starts to clutter around me and I look like I've been through a hedge backwards! haha! (infact - hubby suggested to me the other day I went clothes shopping, and thats a MASSIVE first so he must agree I look like a bag of cra*p somedays, haha!).

However, once I make myself go out and do things I get back on a roll and we end up with a hectic few weeks of non stop activities and I feel good for it. Also, every now and then I'll make a proper effort to get tarted up, put slap on and do hair, and that works wonders too.

I don't mean to try and simplify what you are saying, as I know these are superficial things, but they might give you little perks when you feel a descent coming on.

I'm also a big fan of having a glass of wine in the bath after Isla has gone to bed, face pack on, the works. I also go to a body combat class on Monday nights and thats BRILLIANT for getting rid of any uptightness!

It's so easy to give up on the "me time" when babba comes along cos we are so busy, but every now and then it's good to try and spoil yourself and give yourself a break.

Anyway - I'm harping on, but definitely chat to HV, and definitely keep bouncing off us!
Lots of love to you.
N & Isla (1) xxxxxxx

Hi hun

sorry for short reply just in a rush.. i second everything natalie said.... you need a break and to get out of the house and that old cliche 'a bit of me time'... just write yourself a list of ten things you would like to do in the next two weeks haircut, yoga, baby group, walk in the park so you have something to aim for and see how you feel after that... well done for speaking out about it beause now you can look forward to feeling better xxxxxxxxxx danica and cadene xxxxxxxxx

Hey

Hey Hunny,

Sending you big hugs and kisses!

Firstly please do mention this to your HV, you are not making a fuss and your HV can give you all the support you need and keep an eye on you.

Do you feel low because you are at home all day with Sam ?? I used to feel like that if we did not have much on in a week and I start to go stir crazy. Why have you stopped going to groups - it will do you good to get out - even if it is like a walk down the road or something..... I think also now that our little ones are getting a bit older, perhaps our friends and family do not make such a fuss so you do feel a bit alone and it feels like the four walls are closing in......

What about your other half - have you told him how you feel - it may help to get some time out - go shopping, meet friends for lunch (without Sam) and be yourself. Go to the hairdressers and get a haircut or something so you feel pampered. I had reflexology at work the other day and it was so nice to have half hour of 'me time' as we never get time to ourselves and we are always worried about others.

I cannot remember where you live, but I am down South if you want to meet up for a natter!

Please don't keep this to yourself and get it out in the open - you will feel much better for it.

Sending lots of love
Natalie & Emily xxc

Hey

i'm no expert but i would say you have PND, i havent suffered myself but i know a few of the ladies on here have and i'm sure that they will be able to help you more. I would suggest booking up an app with the doc and explaining how you feel to them. Please dont carry on suffereing alone.

Take care

Donna, scarlett 20 months and 39 week boy bump.
xxxxx

Hey hun,
Sorry 2 hear the test didnt go well. Keep trying n u will get there.
Anyway as 4 the way u r feeling. I was like this after I had my 1st baby. It wasnt until baby was 18 months though that I actually realised n went 2 docs n was put on anti depressants.
I wasnt keen but they r not adictive like they used 2 b. When I decided 2 try 4 another baby I came off them very easily within a few weeks.
B4 I was on them I was very anxious all the time n had 2 have things done there n then. Baby had 2 be asleep asap at bedtime or I was a nervous wreck. I expressed 2 doc n they said they would help n they did. I was a different person!
Once I came off em I was fine n have since had a nother baby n been ok up 2 yet, fingers crossed.
I am sure we all feel like u r doin sumdays, its all part n parcel of it but I would speak 2 HV or GP hun, its nothing 2 b ashamed off. We all need a little help every so often.
mummyand2. xx

Thanks girls

for all your replies, they really helped. I saw the HV yest for Sam's 32 week check (all well ) and told her i've been feeling pretty crap*y. She's a bit dippy but said that she will come and see me at home on Monday to do a questionnaire and have a general chat. She said PND can appear anytime in the 18 months after and that there are things that can be done. So, I do feel a bit better for telling her but still feel like I have a heavy blanket over me (don't know where I got that description from!) but hopefully things will improve. It feels like it's stealing my precious maternity leave from me as I just can't enjoy myself at the moment. Anyway, could waffle on forever in what feels like a very self indulgent way feeling sorry for myself. Gggrrr, hate feeling like this.

Rach x x x

Afternoon....

Glad you mentioned how you feel to your HV - don't feel guilty about feeling like this - we are all here to listen, cheer you up etc etc...

Sending lots of love
Natalie & Emily xx