8 year old attitude

Hi, I have an 8 year old daugther and am worried about her attitude.
She permanently answers back and even when we have a shouting match and she says she will be good, within 2 hours, we are back to square one!

Is this normal for an 8 year old? When does it change? I feel like it's starting to rub off on my 3 year old and need advice on how to get better behaviour from her.

She can be so nice when she wants to, it's just she's a nightmare if she doesn't get her own way - all the time!

Thanks
Nik xx

Scared of child

my daughter is 9 next month. i try to keep calm but it makes her tantrum worse. i have tried grounding her and ive tried letting things slide. neither works. i ask her to get dressed or brush her teeth, normal everyday stuff and she goes mad. she tells me she hates me and i'm the worst parent in the world. she is very clever and i pay for her to do the after school activities she wants. i end up crying most days. she scares her younger brothers and i worry it may rub off on them. she can be violent and has kicked me in the stomach and other things. 10 minutes later she is beck to normal and seems unfased by the events. i am scared of her and dont know where to turn. ive tried explaining how i feel and ive tried shouting/grounding/etc. nothing works

That 8 year old attitdue

My 8 year old daughter has started blatantly disregarding all the established rules. When I catch her at it she just gives me excuses. Today, I went to find her to ask her about homework and after 15 minutes frantic searching I found her outside at the next door neighbors house. I re-explained the 'you tell me where you are ' rule and she said 'but you saw me walk by' I was in the kitchen making dinner. I had no way to know she was going out the front door. After explaining the rule again, I told her that dinner was 15 minutes out and I would come to get her. When I went to get her she wasn't at that neighbors house she was at the guy across the streets' house (playing with his 7 year old granddaughter). But this worries me on several levels... 1 I just told her that I needed to know where she was..one neighbors is not the same as the other and she should know this without me having to spell it out. 2 she thinks it ok to walk into some guys house with no one knowing where she is????? we've had the stay away from men with candy, or puppies conversation, but this worries me.

Is this blatant disregard for the rules a way to push the boundaries and I need to revert to the 'your on them all the time' mentality I had when she was two and I wanted to keep her from sticking her fingers in outlets, or is this something more serious???

Normal....

the one thing that really stood out in your letter is you said"when we have a shouting match..." dont get into a shouting match!!! send her to a quiet space and do not have conversation with her until she says sorry and speaks nicely!!! really!!! im not being unrealistic and yes i do have kids and all kids can be a pest...or whatever but im serious- dont get into a power struggle with an 8 year old - you have the power - use it!! say no and dont give an inch - as soon as she is rude etc she is on her own and must apologise - she wont like it and will probably kick up a fine fuss but stick with it - it will work! i always tell kids that i dont argue with people under 5ft high - what i say goes - its just ridiculus enough that kids accept it!!!

My advice

hi nik
i have a boy of 7yrs old and one of 15 my 15yr old used to be like that when he was about eight and he is still a pain in the backside today we give him everything and he just wanted more he used to go in right moods if he didnt get is own way so we just gave into him for a bit of piece and quiet.i have liam he is 7 and he is totally different i thought i carnt have two like that so when he stamped his feet i didnt give in to him i just didnt give him what he wanted he soon got over it after showing me up in the shops screaming and shouting but it really works if u give in to them they no if i scream ill get it and that is as easy as that so please try this u will b suprized after several attempts.good look



yvonnexx

Im so glad its not just mine!

Hi Nik. Im so glad its not just me with this problem!. My 8 years old daughter is the same. Sometimes i have to remind her that im the parent!. I also have a 4 year old daughter and the 2 of them never stop fighting. I know it sounds horrible but i cant wait till the 6wks are up and there back at school!.
I feel like im always telling her off and i feel so guilty but its like when i say something to her it goes in 1 ear and out the other!. Sometimes i feel like im going mad!!!.
My 4 year old still thinks shes a baby aswell and wont go anywhere unless im there. She wants her pram when we go out or else i have to end up carrying her!.
Im never having anymore kids!!! lol x

My thoughts exactly

Defo no more kids for me either. Two are plenty. Like yours mine are always arguing and I feel that all I do is shout.

When can you start to enjoy your kids, that's what I want to know. Seems like a chore so much. The good times are so minimal at the moment.

Like you say, glad it's not just me. It sounds like we have exactly the same issues, so maybe it is normal!!

Nikx

9 year old boy

i said no more kids after my second daughter who is now 24 but now have a son 9 and a daughter 7.i find my son hard work as he has a bad temper and has recently started wishing me dead he gets in grief at school and throws his weight around alot. things got so bad the other day he was screaming at me while i was drivig thumping the window saying he would smash it if i did,nt let him out the car and telling me how much he hated me and wished i was dead. i did end up pulling over and letting him out, i then drove home in a state and my husband went and picked him up. he's having therapy but i think he is getting worse not better. there is no txt book on parenting and up untill my son was born i did'nt think i'd done a bad job now i feel i'm being punished. My 7 year old girl is no angel she's sometimes hard work but i feel her brother is wiping off on her .