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Hey
hey, i am 14 and when i was 12/13 i was exactly the same as you describe your daughter. i never told people what was wrong, everyone just assumed it was teenage hormones but i always felt down. i think you need to just sit down and have a heart to heart with her, let her say what she wants and dont get offended by anything she says,she's just being honest. i wish thats what my family didnt for me but they didnt know anything was so bad. i regularly thought about suicide and would cry alot when i was alone, i felt alone and unloved by literally everyone, and the people who seemed to love me..well i just thought they were lying. i was extremly self conscious and hardly ate at all, i ate just enough to survive and i took my body measurments(chest,waist,hips.. .)every day. i used to walk in supermarkets feeling physically sick. after that stage i turned to drink and drugs.. im just lucky that i realised what i was loosing and that what i was doing was stupid. You just need to let her talk to you, dont push her too much though and dont shout whatever you do! she will just feel worse.
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I can't get through to my daughter"
I hate to say this but she will hopefully grow out of it but if she doesn't maybe you should get her some counselling sometimes our children are depressed and we don't even know. I have a fourteen year old son that doesn't go to school sleeps out with out asking and is just on this destructive path. I speak with him all the time i tell him the importance of going to school but, he doesn't care. I have just decided to give him tough love and let him suffer the consequences of his actions right now that is all I can do.
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In the same boat
hi my daughter is 15, 16 in july and i hate to say this but it will get worse! friends tell me she will grow out of it but that seems so far away, i can not bear to be in the same room as her anymore and every day she is the topic of conversation, her attitude stinks, she is lazy, and yet can not see what the problem is she thinks its us, elle was elle until about 12 months ago and now the only time she will speak to anybody is when she wants somthing, she lives in her room coming out only for snacks and drinks she has her g.c.s.es this year and i am out of my mind with worry as all we do is argue. i just want my little girl back. sorry i dont have any tips i think there should be lessons in coming to terms with teenage daughters, i dont think m.s.n. helps either we are forever banning it in our house, seems to be the only punishment she understands at the minute. best of luck mandy.x
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Confused.
whats she doing wrong exactly?? :S
shes 14! girls change ALOT around that age.
her marks may be slipping because the work is getting harder as she goes through school. I was getting A-A+ when i started in year7. then about year 9 went down to B. and i got C's and D's on my GCSE's.
shes just a normal girl. like any other girl. leave her be.
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Don't do nothing
It could just be 'normal' teenage angst, but if this behaviour change has happened quite suddenly there has to be a good chance there is a real reason for it. I am not going to speculate about what it might be because I cannot possibly know. Try to talk to her, but be prepared for her to make it hard for you. Above all, make sure she knows that she can trust you - by your actions, as well as words - and that you are always going to be there for her, no matter what. Don't bombard her with questions though, as you will drive her on the offensive. Sometimes, big as she is, a quiet cuddle can work wonders. Let her fill the silence when she is ready. If you don't make any headway in a couple of weeks, consider getting some professional help. Whatever you do, don't leave this to fester. She may be crying out to you in silence, so please don't close your ears. It's a hard time for Mothers of daughters and my very best wishes go out to you.
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Time
Just give her some time....shes really getting into her teenager years....trust by the tyme she turns 15 shell be bac to her normal self.
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Sit down and talk with her
I would definately sit down and really talk WITH her, not at her or to her. It has to be both ways. She needs to know that no matter what she can trust you. Be respectful, caring, concerned, and loving. At that age it could be a million things, she may be getting picked on at school, etc. But it does sound that she is depressed, and this needs to be handeled gintly and lovingly. But don't just blow it off. Let her know that you are there for her no matter what it is. Remember how life was when you were in school. Kids feel that parents do not understand and never went through the same things they are going through.
Good Luck and take care
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Gof forbid..
god for bid.. but maybe's she's having sex my 13 yr old cousion started to fight her mom... later on that month her mom found out she was having sex... if u think it's not maybe she's just changing in to a young women and sometimes that's the way she'll be . it may be just a fazz... whatever it is just pray onit and try and talk to her take u and her shopping that would damn sure make me come around.
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Daughter
IT COULD BE JUST A NORMAL TEENAGER GOING THROUGH HER TEEN YEARS,BUT IT COULD BE SHE IS DEPRESSED FOR SOME REASON.I WAS LIKE THAT FOR AWHILE,THEN MY MOTHER PUT ME IN COUNSELING,IT REALLY HELPED.MAKE AN APPT WITH HER SCHOOL COUNSELOR AND SEE WHAT THEY BELIEVE
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Im 14 too
hey my name is summer im 14 to and i acted the same way when i first turned 14 its all about emotions and stuff like people tease you in school and all kind of stuff she will get to deal with it soon like i did its hard to get picked on and stuff are she might of broken up with her bf are something it sounds alot like what happened to me hope this helps if you want you can email me at summer195@yahoo.com hernanlove15@aol.com are Skittles_N_Ga14@hotmail.com sorry couldnt help that much just thought this might help you a little!
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Dont give up on her
She may be having trouble with her peers at school. The best thing you can do is reasure her that you are always there for her and she can talk to you anytime. Also i would recomend that you become more strict on the boundries, this will make her respect you and she is more likely to behavior more apropiate in school and at home. Good luck
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Have you thoght?
she may have recently had sex with a boy because girls tend to change when they are depressed she may of split up with him if thats not the case then maybe she is getting bullied at skl or maybe your are pushing her too far at skl and she feels pushed?talk to her but gently n ask her why she has dropped at skl hope i have helped? xx
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Don't worry
if you just leave her alone and don't mention it to her and rub it in, it will eventually pass. If it doesn't in a few months though, I'd take her to the doctor or something.
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Don't worry too much!
If anything it's just a phase...but maybe she might be depressed about somthing. I have a friend who has stopped socializing and not taking part in lessons and having little and nothing to say to anyone. And everyone noticed except her mother! It's good that you sense a change in your daughters lifestyle but you should ask people who talked to her before the change about what they've noticed and what they think about it!
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Cant get through to my daughter
maybe ur daughter is having a serious problem and is too afraid 2 tell u because she's scared of the way u'll react. ask her if there's something wrong and if she doesnt say anything say ' something u want to talk about ?' then peacefully say ' well u know i'm here when u do and i'll still love u no matter what and i'm ur mum so u can come to me with anything'
hope i've given u plently of help. u can send me a message bk 2 tell me if u succeeded in that plan
good luck and all the best for the future !!!
from stacey
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Well, teenagers kind of experience a something that really worries me about my fiture children. They are learning so much in school, that studies have shown that their changing hormones, and educational experiences can REALLY be the total effect on how they act. Arguing, shutting out the family, isolating themselves to their room. My advice would be to get her out or the house, maybe town. Do something that she wants to do, and always let her know that you love her. Of course she knows that you do, but reminding them never hurts and might be what gets them out of their room.
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I have a tip
well if it was me i would try to get through to her and if she doesn't listen to u then take a few things from her and if that doesn't work and her behavoir gets worst then i would beat the liven ... out of her take it from me if i had a child thats e-zactly what i would do.
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I have a tip
beating a developing teen is not the answer! i'm a teen myself ( i'm 14 ) and i was that way too. she's filled with hormones ( proberly getting her first periods too) did u not remember bein' our age and not talking to anyone and being moody ?
u said if she was ur daughter and didnt come through 4 u then u wud beat her ? look at it this way - wud u beat a child 4 developing
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Thanks
thanks for your thoughts both of you.
Things have improved enourmously since I started the thread, we spend more time together and her behaviour has improved - she even speaks full sentences at the dinner table.
hotbabe, I understand how teenagers feel, I was one once, but you should never forget that most parents want to be your friends as well as parents. It will become easier as you get older, but what you sometimes interpret as 'nagging' could just be an attempt at communication!
take carex
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