Hi,
It's my first time here, so hope it works!
I found a packet of cigarettes in my 16-yr old son's bedroom last night. I stayed really calm with him and just asked him if they were his and were he bought them. He simply replied 'I got them with my own money' and stalked off to his room.
I am very concerned about him smoking so young, I know it's legal but I don't like it.
I don't want to struggle with him, but I fear I may have to lay down the law soon. What if this escalates to drug-taking?

I would appreciate any advice
many thanks

Hi I've been smoking since the age of 13 and when my mom found out, I wish that she would of put down the law. Its been 6 years now and I'm just now finally stopping myself from smoking ciggs. I think its the best if u tell him to stop smoking and Just take them away 4 his own good... If u don't he'll have a greater chance of getting some kind of cancer.

i understand my brother started smoking at the age of 15. i was so upset. i would simply sit down and talk to him. ask him why he started and tell him it can lead to death if this dont help get professional haelp bye

hi do you still give your son pocket money? If I was in your situation I would do what my mother did to my sister. Very calm and reasoned. No pocket money, and regular sniff tests etc..on a weekly basis.The evidence is easy to spot.this encourages them to give up or take a lot of trouble hiding it. Also she was told if she had money to literally burn she could pay for her own holiday, and clothes instead. That did the trick. If you make it easy for him, he'll do it more.Best of luck
H

WELL,FIRST,SMOKING IS NOT LEGAL FOR ANYONE UNDER THE AGE OF 18(19 IN SOME STATES).IF YOU CAN,TRY TO NIP IT NOW,WITH TALKS,SHOW HIM STATS ABOUT COPD AND EMPHYZEMA.I STARTED SMOKING WHEN I WAS 13 AND MY MOTHER LET ME.BUT NOW,20 YEARS LATER I AM STRUGGLING TO TRY TO QUIT,DUE TO HEALTH PROBLEMS,ALSO BECAUSE MY HUBBY WAS DIAGNOSED WITH COPD,BRONCHITIS,AND EMPYHZEMA....IF TALKING TO HIM DOESN'T WORK,TRY COUNSELING

MAKE SURE YOU LAY DOWN THE LAW SOON, IT IS EASIER TO DO IT EARLIER THAN LATER, I GOT ADDICTED TO SMOKING AND I 100% REGRET IT, IT GETS ADDICTING SO QUICKLY, IT COST YOU A FORTUNE

hi. i'm stacey. i read all about your son and the cigarettes. its a terrible thing 2 find out one of your children have been smoking. i found out my daughter smoked at 13. seeing as he's 16 he might carry on the situation because most children dont listen to their parents ! try 2 aware your son of the danger, consequences and cost of cigarettes. after all it is your money he's spending on cigarettes. so it looks like you are giving the money to buy the cigarettes. just tell ur son ur not giving him money 2 buy any. thanks

wow, its legal for him.. at age 16? crazy. But I would say, it could be a phase, teens are always in a phase, but I really thing that families spending time together is the sure for almost everything. Sure everything wont be perfect, but just a loving family and some outings can help a teenager feel more about themselves (which would make him want to take care of himself. But I would say just talk to him. No assuming, no names, just listen to him. Maybe ask why, when it started, and if there is anything you two could do to help him quit. But of course let him know you're concerned because you love him, not because you're a weird control freak LOL. Thats just what I would do anyways.

My Daughter startd smoking at 14 after my Mum had died from lung cancer from smoking. She is now 20 and still smoking. Prior to this we had spent plenty of "FAMILY TIME" together. Swimming every week walking etc.Nicotine is more addictive than heroin so once you've started it seems to be very difficult to stop. I wouldn't know about that though having never smoked myself, seeing my parents doing it put me right off it. Now my Dad is seriously ill with heart and breathing problems caused by smoking. So seeing my Daughter smoking is really depressing. My Son who is 2 years younger doesn't smoke, even though a lot of his friends do. I do listen to my Daughter but it doesn't make one iota of difference. Smokers are in denial.

I am currently taking courses in university that deal with the interaction between teenagers and their parents. You need to stay calm and take it easy...He is a teenager and it is normal for him to experiement and want to try to fit in to the "teenage" appeal. I am onlt 19 years old so I know what it is like. When you are a teenager you tend to fall for things when under pressure. However they say that most teenagers start smoking because of stress. Maybe your son is stressed out? You need to sit down and talk to him about it. You can not just keep on letting it slide. You need him to know that you know. But you cannot be demanding because you know what he will do it behind your back. Most of my friends who parents found out they smoked stopped and the ones whose parenst were demanding and yelled and screamed about it .. those friends are still smoking. You don't have to go through the health issues because I am sure your son already knows.
Hope this help, and good luck don't be too hard on him, he is only 16.
Marlise

just chill i am a teenager aswell and i smoke it may affect your health but he isa old enough to make his own desicions
as long as he exercises and eats healthy he will be fine

What an idiot "as long as he exercises and eats healthily he will be fine". No he will not. Breathing chemicals and poisons into anybody's lungs is a surefire way to guarantee that they won't be "fine". I speak from experience, my Mum died from lung cancer caused by years of smoking. But teenagers can't see that far can they? They think they're immortal and invincible it comes with the package. DUH!

well if you feel safe with him smoking than u shundn't worry but if it was my child i would beat the s**t out of him at least until he bleed but mines don't do that he know better and if he is he better be doing it behind my back then.

kids at 16 r at their legal age 2 smoke. i'm sure he knows the dangers. why would u beat the s**t out of ur own child. hitting kids at all is against the law u know .


i wasnt being cheeky there by the way.

Look most the time when you try talk to him he is going to agnore you or tell you a lye that you will beleive trust me at is age he knows your weak spots and all the right words to get you to beleive him
your just going to have to be strict with him and tell him no smoking in your house and if you smoke just start going out side to smoke if you see a pack of cigarettes throw them out he might hate you now but he will relize later why you did it

""

Wow, well I'm only 12. I had friends in 4th grade that smoked and some of then still do. It could be a phse, but perhapss not You need to talk to your kid about it. (so she will stop)

im young (teen)n i used 2 smoke WAY underage n i dont no more ma mum n dad stil dont no
its just a phase dont wori
trust me im onli 13

its not just a phase. i am 13 and i smoke. i've smoked since i turned 12. kids get addicted 2 nicotine VERY quickly. u should c the amount of kids at my secondry skool that smoke !!!

hi, my name is mari. i've been smoking since i was 12, and i have not gotten into any seriuos drugs, i don't even smoke weed!!-anyways- i thought you it might help to have a teenagers opinion. when i first decided smoking, i talked it over with my father. he was pretty upset, but he couldn't nessacerily tell me i couldn't because he smoked himself. but he didn't think i would do it because i was a goody girl.boy did i prove him wrong!but that's why i started because he didn't think i would. after a couple of weeks i stopped because i did what i wanted.but then my mom took me away from my father and i started again.if you tell your child he can't smoke, he's gonna do it just because you told him he couldn't. i'm 15 now,and i do everything in the world i can think of that will make my mom mad. i still smoke, but it's my decision, not my mom's( i don't talk to my father anymore) i know that if my life wouldn't have been so stressful, i would've never picked up another ciggarette, but i did. my mother stopped tryig to run my life because she knows she can't.just try to be your son's friend, not an enemy. i hate my mother more than anything in the world, and i think if you are your son's friend that won't happen. good luck!!
yours truly,
Mari

iv smoked since i was 12 im now 13 n my parents stil dont no
but im tryin 2 stop caus its da biggest secret iv eva had!!

well i have a lot of promblems with drugs so if I were u i would help your child be for some thing hapes.