apparently I "havent moved with the times daddyo" as I find it irritating that my son who is almost 17 wants to stay over at his girlfriends house each week, her mother doesnt mind but I do....but my son keeps insisting that I am an old fuddyduddy! what do other mums think?

im 14 and have stayed at my boyfriends house and he's stayed at mine. (in separate rooms)
since he's 17 hes probably already had sex with her. so yeah i
think you should let him stay round her house.

to be honest hes over 16 so he can stay where he wants!hes legal 2 have sex so i dont see the problem x

This very subject has just come up from my 16 yr old son. His girlfriend wants us to let her stay over here and when we said no she asked him to stay over at hers instead. Seemingly her parents are OK with it. For us, it's not really about preventing them having sex - they can do that in any dark alley, as someone else on here has said - it's about the emotional commitment. We are not sure our son is ready for that at 16. Staying over with her may just lead to her applying more emotional pressure than he is ready to handle. He is fully informed about the mechanics of sex, contraception, STD's etc so we have told him that it's his choice, his decision, when and where he has sex. We trust him to behave responsibly. I think that a parent's job is to make sure their child can come and talk about it whenever they need to and also to provide them with an excuse to say no, if they do not feel ready. He has just called his girlfriend and said he is not coming. He is blaming us for it, which is just fine. The real truth is he doesn't want to do it but was feeling pressured into it by her and by peer pressure that says 'everyone else does it' which is of course not true.He knows we will be there for him all the way as he takes his first and sometimes shaky steps into adulthood.

Oh I KNOW your pain, and it won't be long before my daughter's steady relationship goes his way. My question is, what are you trying to prevent? Pregnancy?- that can happen in 10 seconds in an alley..stds dito and a manly talk is all you can do there i'm afaid. Moral decay? your son is right , kids just don't have the same hang-ups as we do.Let him go with your reservations...he's over 16 and the risk is all with her. Enjoy some freedom yourself , you've done a great job geting him this far - the rest he has to do himself.
H

my two are still young. Son 7 and daughter still a toddler but i also worry about when they get older. I don't even want her too wear make-up to quickly if at all. I wouldn't like my son to sleep over at his girlfriends house at 17. We just have hope and pray they use their senses and be safe in whatever they want to do, which they will do if he gets to sleep over or not.

my son is 8 and likes to stay with his girl friend we don't care

Dude, are you slow or what? Is he your first child? Don'y you know they start kissing from when their about 5.

"Well...i'm a bit young for this (i'm 12) but... "

Hey there

Well truthully, I think you should have a word with your son about staying overat the girlfriend's house And have a word with her Mum, it can help and hopefully...nothing between them will happen!
But, on the other hand, they are just teens so like a lot of other people their age there will be peer pressure as "almost everyone else is doing IT too!"
This is NOT true, just the rumors that go from boy to boy to make them look 'cool'.

Ok. Let me know if that has helped you

Leo

truthfully, well im not a mother, but I'm 17 myself and I would say that 17 isnt too young to stay at a girlfriends house as long as parents are there, and there is more to do than just cuddle or "cuddle." I would suggest maybe, since you're not cumfotable with this (in which is completly normal, don't feel like you're boring for not wanting him to stay, its the right feeling), I would say that maybe his girlfriend should stay at his house for once. That way you can feel better about it and you can get to know her well.

well to be totally honest i think that spending the night at a boyfreinds or a girlfriends house its the greatest thing to do ofcouse there still going to do it but, cause i know i do it when my parents do it but maybe if you let him he get bored of it i know i did when my parents let me sleep ove at my boyfriends....

I think you should put your foot down, he's your son after all!!

I agree with Bridgetspants, they're probably going to have sex anyway. I assume that you or his father have talked to your son about contraception and STDs? in which case there's not a lot else you can do.

not sure really. the chances are that he'll do it anyway behind your back, so you may as well give them the green light!
On the other hand, if it really bothers you, explain to the other Mum you're not happy about it, to ensure it won't happen. She should respect your wishes where your son is concerned.

Hello, I am only 16, and have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years. My parents started letting my boyfriend sleep over after we had been together for a year. I understand that as a parent you would be worried but i have to say i am so grateful that my parents let my bf sleep over, and i dont see the problem with it, we have safe sex and are in a loving relationship, i would hate it if we were not allowed becuase like other people have mentioned we would end up doing stuff some other place and its so much safer in your own home.

i think that if this boy wants to stay at his girlfriends hous, thats fine. you will just have to trust him. even if they have sex, chances are they have before so you probably wont stop them. chances are, hell be more likely to have sex if you dissaprove because hell want to rebel. i think that any age is fine, s long as both sets of parents are happy with he decision. they are legal,after all.