When did you tell your children they were adopted?

I adopted my son when he was a baby, and told him the story of going to the home and choosing him when he asked me 'tell me about when I was born' when he was about 4. I found it very ahrd to tell him that I wasn't his natural mother, but he seemed to take it in his stride and went straight back outside to play.
I told my daughter when she was about 7 and the time came to tell her about the birds and the bees. She was a little teary for a while, but as soon as she realised that we still loved her and nothing was going to change in her life, she accepted it and we have been avery close family ever since.
Both of my children are now grown-up with families of their own who we see regularly. They are an absolute credit to us.

When do i tell my little girl?

I got pregnant with a man I am no longer with(He actually wasn't in the picture through my whole pregnancy). Soon after she was born, I got married to a man( when my baby was 3 months) who I had know for two years prior to getting pregnant. He loved my daughter as much as he loved me. The birth father handed his rights over, and made it clear that he did not want her to know who he was and to grow up knowing that my husband was her only dad. My husband adopted my little girl at the age of 9 months. She is now 3 years and my husband and I are wondering when would be the time to tell her that her daddy that she has known all her life is not her birth father?

So what happened?

I am in a very similar situation, except the bio-dad wants my son to know him some point down the road. He was not involved in my life through pregnancy or after, and only popped up to sign over parental rights. I wish I could just ignore the situation entirely, but with two older stepchildren and a very large family, it's bound to come out sometime! I just have no idea how to tell my son that the man he adores so much is not biologically related to him.

Was it easy?

I met people that i was in group homes with and thye don't mind being adopted. But when your son is older do you think he will ever want to meet his real parents?

This might be a little off topic!!!

ok so when i was like 6 or 7 im 17 now my little sister was takin by cps and was put in a foster home then she was adopted she was like 3 or 4 do you think that she will ever come looking for me do you think her family will tell her about the family that she used to have

Later isn't better

I just found out that I was adopted a year ago at the age of 19. I was hurt, I felt betrayed and it seemed like my life had been a lie. I am over all of that now but it's hard to hear that something you thought about yourself for 19 years is completely false. My parents did not intend for me to find out this information. One of them mentioned it to me by accident. I think that it is best to tell your children as they are growing up. Make it a part of their life, something to be proud of, not something to hide. What could be better than knowing that the parents that adopted you saved your life?

I found this site and thought it had some good things to say: http://www.babycenter.com/refcap/toddler/todadopti-on/1374217.html

Whatever you choose to do, take into consideration the negative effects of waiting to tell your children could have on them...

I agree

Hi i am adopted and i was 5 when i was adopted. my parents believe that it is wrong not to tell the kid that they had other parents. so i think that it is write to tell yur kids that they were adopted. u will luv them the same way that u would if u gave birth to them. thank u for your time

Old enough

I think you should wait until they're old enough to understand what's going on!

Have to disagree

From experience it is actaully hard to know when they are actually old enough to understand. I would have preferred to have been told as i was growing up, even though i would have had clue what it was about. As soon as they are old enough to really understand it will already be an unsettling change or concept for them.

Yes, but...

If children grow up knowing that they were adopted, there won't be any major unsettling change for them, will there?
If they accept that that's the way things are I think it will be easier in the long run.

I was adopted as a baby

Like your children, I've always known about it and to be honest, I'm not really bothered about finding my natural parents - I have some already and if it ain't broken, don't fix it!

Adopted siblings

I have two adopted siblings and they knwe they were adopted from the time they came home with us. My parents would talk to them about it and subtly work it in (one was 3 and the other was 9 months). so they both grew up knowing they were adopted but feeling just as much part of the family as the rest of us. Since we all grew up together there was never any segregation - I guarantee that they resent you for a while if you don't slowely work in that they are adopted. Make sure they understand that you love them and you are their parents b/c you raised them and they are your children.

Giving birth does not make you a mother - raising a child and being there to support him/her does.

I adopted...

i adopted two of my three girls, and i am now pregnant with twins. my two adopted girls have always known they were adopted, and they are very proud of it! I think it is best to tell your children they were adopted young. Adoption is nothing to be ashamed of, you should be happy and proud to be adopted!!

thanks
emma

I agree with u emma

It is always good to let your dream child kwow that he was adopted from the unset,so that they will grow with it