Feelings for another man


I am married and I have had very strong feelings for another man for the last 2 years. I can't get him out of my head.

This man is married and about 15 years old than I am. He doesn't know how I feel, well at least I hope not. We have flirted and got got on very well in the past but I rarely see him these days, I used to work in the same building as him but I don't anymore, I still see him from time to time though because he is my doctor.

Why can't I turn my feelings off for him? nothing will ever happen between us.


Hi there

been there, done it and moved on..
was married for 21 years, my hubby was happily married, but i wasn ... got so bad that we separated, at work i fancied a man for many years and eventually made a move [by this time he aws separated too]....he was so surprised as he couldn't believe 'that the best looking bird in the office would fancy him' [his own words!] we ened up in bed...yes lust and lots of it, but now 4 months later things are starting to develop on both sided so we'll see how it goes...but be careful, whatever you decide to do as a lot of people will be hurt, you included..is there any possibility to discuss things with him? hey, be bold, talk to him, what do you have to loose!
keep us posted
best wishes


I understand you

I understand you.cause i am in a similiar situation
As long as it is a flirt between you and him it is not dangerous.
I think that when we know someting is frobiden that we have even bigger desire to get it, even when we know it is wrong. I was flirting with an ex college and it was ok and i liked just until he started to respond on it and at the end he tried to kiss me. I did kiss him ,but i wanted.Now i feel i am close to the danger zone, cause now just as you i have feeling for him and cant take him out of m mind. He is a doctor also and i know it would be wrong to be with him cause he has 3 children and a wife.
If you are in a happy marriage and your have good husband ,dnt do anything let it just be a fantasy someting that make you happy when you think about.

Many greeting


Thank you ida


Thank you Ida,

I am sorry you have been going through something kind of similar. I hope things work out for you.



dont go there girl especialy if ur both married.it might be just lust xxx


Thank you


Nothing would ever happen between us, I know that for sure but I just want to know how I can turn these feelings off? I would never want to hurt my husband but why do I feel this way after 2 years?




Sounds like your just looking for some excitement in your life. I suggest you go out with friend or do something with your guy, get your mind off this other guy. Is there a way you can stop seeing this other guy? What relation is he to you? If you are able to not see him as often as you do then your mind may wonder away from the feelings you have for him.


Thanks sarah


I rarely see this man but when I do my feelings come flooding back.

I saw him earlier this week and something kind of happened, not intimate at all but without going into it too much there was eye contact and that spark feeling and it has made me feel confused and I just want to stop the way I feel.

I work with him occasionally.


Another answer to think about?


hey there, im kinda new to this site... joined up 20 min ago.
i dont wanna make the feelings worse or try to make u think abt him any more than u do but do u have more things in common with this doc than u do with ur hubby or the other way round?
i read a book on soul mates and there are some very similar storyies in there that relate to this. im not saying u cld bewith the wrong man but it might be a posibility? im only young but in a way it sounds to me as if ur falling in love with him.
try to think rationally abt the whole situation, decide things and stick with it babes.




I do wonder if myself and my husband have anything in common but we are good friends, it is just so hard not having that spark there, well I know he does, I just don't feel it anymore.

I do have very strong feelings for this other man but I rarely see him, only when I have to so I guess in time these feelings will disapear but they haven't so far and its been a few years now.

I know he is happily married, he loves his family.


Why stop feelings?


do you think this will help?Feeling something like this does not happen everyday,and I don't think it's wrong either...it just happens!Keep it your secret....let it be what brightens p your days,what makes you feel alive ...Anyway,these things happen all the time to most of us..but we never talk about this!Take it as something positive,enjoy it..and remember..time is the big healer!


Thank you


Yes I guess I can always have these feelings to brighten up a dull day but the thing is whenever I do see him (which is very rare) I just feel upset afterwards.

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